This is George Winston's piano rendition of Johann Pachelbel's Canon. There's something eargasmic about it that really soothes my soul, hence, many many years ago, I promised to have this played on my wedding day. I don't care if this has been played in millions of weddings or in movies but this has to be played on my big day! Now that it is fast approaching, I'm fretting about the details such as who's to play Canon while we're walking down the aisle, or the tiny details in the hall prep, or the menu, the wedding invites, the program itself and etcetera. In our culture, it's difficult to have your dream wedding done due to the norms and traditions that we follow (in fact, a wedding song is not important at all), but I want to make sure that those feasible things I want in it to be done. Normally among us, Meranaos, the bride is not supposed to get her hands on the wedding, but I'm a lucky lass to have my parents ask me on how we should go about it. The whole bridal family are supposed to act as wedding coordinators, consulting the groom's family on their suggestions. With ours, I try to inject some of my modern wedding ideas into our tradition and raise it to my parents. If I get an approval then we're good to go.
I'm getting jittery about this whole marriage thing, not so much with the wedding because the ceremony would only last for some few hours but marriage is supposed to last our whole lifetime together and as we pray, even in the hereafter. Subhanallah. This is the difficult thing about being single all your life and then suddenly, someone comes along to become a part of your everyday life. You used to decide on your own and seek approval from you parents, and now, someone is deciding with you. You used to be only a part of a nuclear family and now you are creating your own nuclear family. I occasionally catch myself absorbed in my own reverie, thinking about the huge leap I am going to make, the enormous detour of my life. With this whole marriage thing, some of the plans I laid for myself went blurry. But as a dear friend told me, we cannot help but make compromises when we're already in the relationship. This is not merely some boyfriend-girlfriend experimental thing that I can easily get out whenever I want to. This is the real thing. And it is a big deal. I can't help but get emotional about all these stuff because of the huge decisions I will have to make in the future regarding juggling my career and my future family life, but I constantly remind myself that we're going to cross the bridge when we get there. I need to calm down myself, there's nothing to fret about, and that Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) is the Best Planner, and He shall direct to us to where we are best fit. Ameen.
But one thing for sure, Canon shall me played while we're walking down the aisle. Wish me the best! *winks*
