My eldest, Yamyam (Amina Mariam), is turning two years old
in few days which means it’s been two years since Jabar and I became parents!
The fun part is becoming parents to TWO KIDS in a span of TWO YEARS! Hahahaha! No
guys, I’m way too far from being an expert in this parenting business but I’m
going to share with you bits of what I’ve learned as a Mom.
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| Yamyam playing with stones |
1.) Each child has a unique pace of development
You know how when you’re pregnant for the
first time and you download all the apps that tracks your baby’s development?
We’re so excited, right? When the baby is still in the tummy, I think it’s alright
to keep track every single minute that your baby is growing his ears or opening
his eyes, etc. But when he’s already out in this world, there’s a certain age
range for him to achieve his developmental milestones. So don’t fret when he’s
not yet rolling over at 4 months, or not yet sitting on his own at 8 months.
Your baby’s just finding his perfect time and eventually he’ll get there.
2.) There’s no manual for parenting
I wish there’s one so we can just follow
the steps especially on the troubleshooting part aka tantrums, unfortunately,
there’s none. All the parenting articles out there or even books and apps are
merely GUIDES. I believe the key is to not compare your child to other kids and
even yourself to other parents. You may have breastfed your child while others
may not have for some valid reasons. Baby-led weaning may have worked for them
but not in your household. Others may have raised their children in a Montessori
environment but unfortunately for you, you don’t have that kind of environment.
THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE. Do what works for you and for your family.
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| Amreen at 4 months old |
3.) Kids do not need fancy stuff
We, parents, want the best for our
children. However, what is deemed best may be quite expensive. There was an
instance when I bought a quite pricey toy because apparently, it is good for an
infant’s sensory and visual development, a perfect teething aide and it garnered excellent
reviews and even endorsed by celebrities! But when I got home and so excited
for my little daughter to play with it, she threw it and didn’t even like
getting a grip of it! Ugh. See? Most often than not, we buy stuff for our own
satisfaction, stuff that our kids barely need in actuality. Whenever I am in
the kids’ section, I always ask myself: am I buying this for my baby, or for my
own satisfaction because it is Instagram-worthy? *rolls eyes at myself*
4.) Every child is different
As well as every pregnancy. Yes. When I was
pregnant with my second child, I was expecting the exact same experience as
with my firstborn. I was even expecting them to look exactly the same! Hahaha!
Oh boy was I wrong. I have now two daughters who are completely different from each
other, and in some ways, raised differently. Yamyam was delivered normally but
was only breastfed for two months while Amreen was delivered via CS (she was a
breech baby!) but exclusively breastfed until as of writing time. Yamyam is
mini-Jabar while Amreen is mini-me (although a lot of people still says that
she looks more like her father. Ugh. No way, I insist she looks like me guys!).
Yamyam is the rowdy one while Amreen is more quite and lady-like (yes, I can
say that even though she’s only 8 months old. Lol!). I hate comparing them two,
or even hearing other people comparing them, because they are two unique
individuals. Children can be raised in a single household by the same parents
but they’ll eventually grow up with different inclinations, wants and needs.
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| Yamyam enjoying a book at the day care |
5.) Be in the moment, they’re not going to be the
way they are now forever
Several months ago, I deleted my Twitter
app on my phone followed by my Facebook app. Being detached from social media
and all the negativities it brings gave me more time to be mentally present
with my kids. I got to observe their little nuances and even the arrangement of
the pores on their skin. As I was scanning through Yamyam’s infant photos, I
felt a little nostalgic. It wasn’t too long ago (that was just last year!) when
I was holding her in my arms swaying her around until she falls asleep. I don’t
do that to her anymore and most of the time she doesn’t want to be carried any
longer. She even pushes me because she wants to run, run, and run around.
Aaaawww… so I cherish every single second that Amreen wants to be carried by me
especially when she yearns for my breasts to be able to sleep. The time will
come that, just like her sister, she won’t be breastfeeding anymore and won’t
be needing me as much as she does now.
6.) They’ll eventually learn to be independent
There were moments before that I thought I
should have practiced baby-led weaning for Yamyam so it would be effortless on
my part to feed her. I find it so difficult to spoon feed a child who refuses
to eat! There’s too much drama and stress. Until two months ago, I realized
that she refuses to eat because she wants to hold the spoon by herself! She
wants to eat alone and drink from her glass of water without needing much
assistance from me! Oh my child, how you’ve grown. So moms, don’t stress out
when your baby seems over clingy. You’ll be surprised one day they do their own
things alone.
7.) Subsequent babies are easier to handle than the
first ones
Of course because we already know the
drill. Besides, I want to believe that we’re correcting our mistakes this time
around so we’re doing things better than what we did with our firstborn. With
our second babies (and the succeeding ones), we become less of a worrywart. We
know that it’s ok if they lose their balance and hit the floor while trying to
master the art of walking, we don’t get cyanotic first when our babies gag on
their first few solid food intake, and yes, your baby is completely fine if
he gets bitten by mosquitoes once in a while or accidentally sustained an
abrasion on his knees. It’s not always your fault, Moms, it’s just your kids
being kids!
If you’re the kind of Mom who fret at every
little thing concerning your children’s upbringing, well, you’re not alone but
first, chillax. Breathe. Tantrums will eventually cease and your children will
grow and you will miss them. Always remember to be in the moment. Play with
them, laugh with them, shower them daily with lots of hugs and kisses. Give
yourself some me-time, pamper yourself, eat good food and be healthy. What really
matters is our family’s happiness and saving our own sanity. I hope some points
here did help and may we raise our children gracefully and lovingly. Have a
great day, Mommies!
