February 27, 2010

On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning

I thought this is an amazing story worth sharing from one of my favorite authors. Tell me what you think.. Enjoy!

On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning
Haruki Murakami

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird.

"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.

"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"

"Not really."

"Your favorite type, then?"

"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."

"Strange."

"Yeah. Strange."

"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"

"Nah. Just passed her on the street."

She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"

Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.

"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"
No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me."

No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"
Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.

"This is amazing," he said. "I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the 100% perfect girl for me."

"And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream."

They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle.

As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily?

And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"

"Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do."

And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.

The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.

One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible influenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank.

They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.

Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.

One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fourteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.

A sad story, don't you think?

Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her.

February 12, 2010

Heart Talk

Since it's the month of hearts, let's talk about this great force of nature called physical attraction. Classmate T and I have been discussing about this line that crosses between Crush and Love, whether it is a thin or a thick one. For me, there's a thick line that divides Crush and Love. In fact, there's the Like that goes in between. To make matters (worse) more complicated, we made three Classifications of Crush: Low Crush, Moderate Crush and Severe Crush. He gave me the task to assign criteria for every class, after which, we'd pass it to the World Crush Organization for validity. If there is such. Harhar!!

1. Let's start with the lowermost level called Crush. This is the first thing we learned about physical attraction, some discovered this feeling in high school, others in grade school while for early bloomers, they've got crushes since nursery days. This is purely based on the physical aspect of the person. He could be an actor, a classmate, a schoolmate, a sibling's friend, a friend's sibling, a neighbor, or a random person you constantly bump into the hallway or at the canteen. He's your crush because he's got tantalizing eyes, a prominent nose or a perfect set of teeth. As I have mentioned, there are three classifications of this kind of feeling:

a. Low Crush: This is the most benign form. You find him attractive but there's no kilig factor at all. He's there, you're here, you coexist but there's nothing more than that. You don't exert an effort to get noticed. You don't care if he has a girlfriend or none.

                 Sign: You tend to stare whenever he's not looking. Just like that.

b. Moderate Crush: Five notches above Low Crush, there's the presence of that kilig factor and you make an effort to get noticed. You create some silly excuses to talk to him.

                 Signs: Whenever he says "hi" and asks how you're doing, the two corners of lips are stretched all the way to your nape. You tend to stutter and mumble the wrong words.

c. Severe Crush: Aside from the kilig factor, you try to get to know him more than the basic infos. He's the person you tell your friends you have a crush on and forbid them to have the same feelings because "you found him first", so with all due respect to you, they're not supposed to get kilig in your presence. You start to snoop into his FB account, or worse, stalk him!!

                 Signs: Cold and clammy extremities and whenever he's around, your heart starts to flutter.

Crushes are crushes, you don't hope for anything more than that. Nothing serious especially among Low and Moderate Crushes. As for Severe Crush, there's a tenfold probability that it may progress to the next level which is.....

2. Like. When you "like" a person, there's already that connection. Good looks is not a necessity, in fact, the Crush phase may not be a prerequisite. You may like him because of some aspects of his personality more than the looks. This will eventually come into a crossroad when the spark either intensifies or fades. One proceeds to the road toward the third level which is the most complicated one, the overused and abused thing called Love; while the other road opens to the stable and lasting relationship called Friendship. And I mean the Friendship that does not go beyond the barrier. At this road, both of you might find another romantic spark from other people.

3. Love. Alright, it took me a long while staring into the space before I start collecting my thoughts on this. I am no authority but allow me to give it a shot. I may be talking fallacies, but before any violent reactions...just...shut up, okay? Hehe! So love, the most abused word on this planet. We say "I Love You" to almost everybody, but what is really love? (By the way, when I say "I Love You" to my girlfriends, I really mean that. Er, we're not talking about that kind of love anyway.) Perhaps it is the acceptance of the person as a whole---including his positives as well as his negatives. The dopamine rush that goes with Crush and Like (which apparently lasts no longer than 2 years) might have already evaporated, however you stick to the person. You accept every inch of him while pondering on his undesirable characteristics you can live with. By that, you do not try to change him for if there is love, you'll accept him for whatever he is or he'll change wholeheartedly for you. As for a fairytale believer that I am, Love is meant to last forever.



Advance Happy Hearts, People! Keep Believing in Love and Let's Paint the Town RED.