Heart Talk

Since it's the month of hearts, let's talk about this great force of nature called physical attraction. Classmate T and I have been discussing about this line that crosses between Crush and Love, whether it is a thin or a thick one. For me, there's a thick line that divides Crush and Love. In fact, there's the Like that goes in between. To make matters (worse) more complicated, we made three Classifications of Crush: Low Crush, Moderate Crush and Severe Crush. He gave me the task to assign criteria for every class, after which, we'd pass it to the World Crush Organization for validity. If there is such. Harhar!!

1. Let's start with the lowermost level called Crush. This is the first thing we learned about physical attraction, some discovered this feeling in high school, others in grade school while for early bloomers, they've got crushes since nursery days. This is purely based on the physical aspect of the person. He could be an actor, a classmate, a schoolmate, a sibling's friend, a friend's sibling, a neighbor, or a random person you constantly bump into the hallway or at the canteen. He's your crush because he's got tantalizing eyes, a prominent nose or a perfect set of teeth. As I have mentioned, there are three classifications of this kind of feeling:

a. Low Crush: This is the most benign form. You find him attractive but there's no kilig factor at all. He's there, you're here, you coexist but there's nothing more than that. You don't exert an effort to get noticed. You don't care if he has a girlfriend or none.

                 Sign: You tend to stare whenever he's not looking. Just like that.

b. Moderate Crush: Five notches above Low Crush, there's the presence of that kilig factor and you make an effort to get noticed. You create some silly excuses to talk to him.

                 Signs: Whenever he says "hi" and asks how you're doing, the two corners of lips are stretched all the way to your nape. You tend to stutter and mumble the wrong words.

c. Severe Crush: Aside from the kilig factor, you try to get to know him more than the basic infos. He's the person you tell your friends you have a crush on and forbid them to have the same feelings because "you found him first", so with all due respect to you, they're not supposed to get kilig in your presence. You start to snoop into his FB account, or worse, stalk him!!

                 Signs: Cold and clammy extremities and whenever he's around, your heart starts to flutter.

Crushes are crushes, you don't hope for anything more than that. Nothing serious especially among Low and Moderate Crushes. As for Severe Crush, there's a tenfold probability that it may progress to the next level which is.....

2. Like. When you "like" a person, there's already that connection. Good looks is not a necessity, in fact, the Crush phase may not be a prerequisite. You may like him because of some aspects of his personality more than the looks. This will eventually come into a crossroad when the spark either intensifies or fades. One proceeds to the road toward the third level which is the most complicated one, the overused and abused thing called Love; while the other road opens to the stable and lasting relationship called Friendship. And I mean the Friendship that does not go beyond the barrier. At this road, both of you might find another romantic spark from other people.

3. Love. Alright, it took me a long while staring into the space before I start collecting my thoughts on this. I am no authority but allow me to give it a shot. I may be talking fallacies, but before any violent reactions...just...shut up, okay? Hehe! So love, the most abused word on this planet. We say "I Love You" to almost everybody, but what is really love? (By the way, when I say "I Love You" to my girlfriends, I really mean that. Er, we're not talking about that kind of love anyway.) Perhaps it is the acceptance of the person as a whole---including his positives as well as his negatives. The dopamine rush that goes with Crush and Like (which apparently lasts no longer than 2 years) might have already evaporated, however you stick to the person. You accept every inch of him while pondering on his undesirable characteristics you can live with. By that, you do not try to change him for if there is love, you'll accept him for whatever he is or he'll change wholeheartedly for you. As for a fairytale believer that I am, Love is meant to last forever.

Advance Happy Hearts, People! Keep Believing in Love and Let's Paint the Town RED.