Living In Times of COVID

It was late 2019 when the novel coronavirus broke out in Wuhan, China. The viral infection manifests with flu-like symptoms of cough, fever, colds and sore throat. These are common symptoms usually ignored and resolve spontaneously. It has a minimal fatality rate but according to statistics, elderly patients and those with co-morbidities such as hypertension and diabetes present with severe manifestations.  There's no enough study yet to prove that drugs (hydroxychloroquine + azithromycin, oseltamivir) can bring cure, but more researches are being developed. Nobody thought that like the Chinese, the virus that is unknown to the medical experts would spread all over the globe, and no cure has been identified yet. 

It has been a month since Metro Manila and some parts of the country (as well as most countries all over the world) is in lockdown. Only frontliners --- healthcare workers, policemen, supermarket staff --- are allowed to go out. This posed a huge problem especially to the daily wage earners which constitutes a major bulk of the metro dwellers. Most people have lost income, largely those in the business sector, posing a domino effect on the nation's economy.

Almost empty Taft Avenue crossing Finance Road.

The virus held a tight grip to the entire world, it crippled the world economy and rendered people immobile in the safety of their homes, if they're lucky to have one. This has never occurred to the greedy beasts in the business industry, they thought nobody can stop them from gaining profits. This crisis has shown us small to large scale leadership. It has shown us who are the true leaders in the workplace, community and the nation as a whole.

Empty Rizal Park

5th week of lockdown

How's life for healthworkers like us?

Family Medicine female residents wearing a donated PPE from Quorom, a female lawyers' sorority group. 

PUI tent

My co-resident, Jhem.

Checked on Jhem at the triage.

We continue to work in spite of the risk and the anxiety of being infected. The chronic loopholes of the nation's public health is out in the open for scrutiny. I think it's too late to criticize, what we can do is to cooperate with the nation's leaders. I hope this government sees the importance of public health and gives value to it.

I know it will never be the same after this pandemic, people have lost their loved ones while some lost their jobs, I can only be grateful that I am one of those who only want this to be over so I can return to the normal daily grind of my residency training.

Right now, I enjoy the sweet calmness reigning all over the metro. I never thought I would hear the noisy streets in complete silence while I drive to almost-empty roads in Manila. It's a sad sight though seeing the homeless street dwellers, the only ones left on the streets begging food for daily survival.

 

I want our lives to return to normal again. I want to bring my baby out so we can enjoy the outdoors again --- the malls and her daycare. If there's one thing I realize, is how I lack time for my baby Amal. She's more than a year old but I haven't really seen her grow. I spend more time at work, coming home to a sleeping baby most of the time. InshaaAllah, after all these, I will spend more time with her especially during weekends, the way I was with her two older sisters.

In these trying times, we can only cling to our faith. Allah (subhaana wa ta'ala) has sent us an unseen enemy. He has shown us a sign of His might --- that He alone can stop the world, that He can topple the most powerful nation, the most powerful human being can fall into His mercy.

Semi-Zero-Social-Media Challenge

I challenged myself out-of-the-blue to disable my Instagram account and uninstall my Facebook account. I've always been like that, uninstall-reinstall. My Twitter accout is still there though, I think I need it. 

Why?

My in-service exam is fast approaching and my research proposal is still hanging. Social media is ruining my life and I am constantly conscious about it. Also, I want to go back to writing and expressing myself without limitations. Here in my blog, I am not afraid to be judged because nobody comes here to purposely read me. Nobody. Errr, perhaps one or two people. Thank YOU. But Instagram? People judge everything. That has always been my issue --- fear of being judged. Although I always say I don't care about what people think, honestly I am still a tad bit affected.

Oh well, let's see how long this lasts. Maybe 24 hours? A week? Or a month? 

Support me, yeah? 

Quiapo, Manila

via Instagram http://bit.ly/2GW59ru

I never liked living in Quiapo. I despise it. Wholeheartedly. The noise, the filth, the foul smell. Quiapo slaps you hard with the picture of poverty, the picture of the reality of what is it like living in the Philippines. 

On the other hand, living here brings humility. You see struggle on the faces of the people you meet on the street as they hope for a better tomorrow.

It also brings gratitude that I get to see both sides---I know how it is to live a comfortable life and I know how to live in poverty. Alhamdulillah for everything I have. Alhamdulillah for Quiapo. 

The Aftermath

This emotions in this post was triggered after my cousins and my in-laws sent us photos of what remained of their homes after the Marawi siege. I am sharing it here in my blog after I posted it on Facebook yesterday (where it must have been initially posted) as well as the comments it garnered. I made a few editing though. 

I honestly do not like discussing about what happened to MARAWI to avoid scratching the surface of a deeply-seated wound. But I need to let this out.

Today, my relatives were able to return to their homes only to scavenge on what was left of the properties that they built for decades with their own blood and sweat. Most of us even spent decades as OFWs sacrificing precious family milestones to be able to give a better future for their children. Now, everything turned to ashes.

My in-laws house. This was literally built by my grandfather-in-law with his own hands, my parents in-law spent decades working abroad to finish this one. Few days before the siege, renovation was underway. 

My Uncle's Orphanage. This orphanage used to be a home to at least 15 orphans FOR FREE. 

Pointing fingers as to which side of the opposing forces (government troops and the Maute group) did more damage to our properties will not bring back what we’ve lost but if there’s one thing I am sure of, the government forces FAILED to protect the civilians and their properties. They even perpetuated MORE damage to our houses by deliberately wrecking and looting even those located outside the periphery of the battle ground.

This government, instead of comforting its constituents, even insinuates threats that we cannot get our land back because they’re planning an economic zone right on the areas where our former homes were standing. WE DO NOT NEED A DUBAI-LIKE MARAWI like what this government proposes to us. We are not that gullible, Sirs, as you’d want to believe. WE WANT OUR LAND BACK. We do not like malls, condos and exclusive villages inside Marawi, we want our old homes where we live next door to our siblings, aunts and cousin. We want Banggolo and Padian back. Perhaps a little cleaner, yes. 

This government has boldly transgressed the very foundation of the Meranaos' carefully treaded MARATABAT. We will surely never let this one pass. We may be demoralized and weak now but I still believe that Meranaos, strongly resistant and resilient, shall rise again. In shaa Allah. I only pray that I am still alive by the time we receive vindication. To the people responsible for our agony, karma exists and it hits hard. We were neither conquered by the Spaniards nor the Japanese nor the Americans, hence we shall not be conquered by those who were conquered. OVER THE DEAD BODIES OF THE ENTIRE MERANAO RACE. 

Thoughts On The Marawi Siege

Can you imagine the place where you were born and raised reduced to rubble and ashes?

Photo courtesy of Najib Zacaria (Facebook)

I can’t. Never in a million years. But, it happened.

Two months ago, our city was attacked by young men claiming to purge Marawi from the heavy burden of major sins it carries and ultimately let Islam, their definition of Islam, rule the city. Chaos ensued. The high and mighty Meranaos left their turf and found themselves in evacuation centers or in houses of relatives in the nearby cities of Iligan and Cagayan de Oro. The government forces started to bomb the city to get rid of the terrorists. Airstrikes and bombings continue to rain as of writing time. It is unfathomable.

Photos courtesy of Marawi City Pulse (Facebook Page)

A divine punishment?

I have long been anticipating an end to the madness of the unruly Meranaos. I was guessing of a major calamity to hit like the one I saw at Leyte (typhoon Yolanda) or at Davao Oriental (typhoon Pablo). Just like anything in life, Allah’s plans are unpredictable and way beyond our imaginations. Any Meranao who have observed other cities in comparison to ours will definitely agree on one thing: ours is regressing to anarchy. I do not want to highlight here all the bad stuff going on my beloved city before the siege happened but in a nutshell, major corruption and abuses from the grassroots to the top is undeniable.

What are they fighting for?

The perpetrators of the attack were young idealistic group of young Meranao men who were disappointed by the society, significantly by our leaders and the people who are following them blindly. Knowing that Islam is perfect and is the only solution, they wanted to truly raise Islamic law (shari’ah) in the “Islamic City” of Marawi. However forcibly and violently, out of the teachings of Allah (swt) in the Holy Qur’an and of the Prophet Mohammad (saw) in his hadith (traditions). As the siege continues, the story slowly unfolded. The attackers were not only composed of Meranaos (Maute Group) but they were joined by Tausug bandits (Abu Sayyaf) and even foreign-based terrorists under the flag of ISIS. Several conspiracy theories even rolled out, that President Duterte has his hands on this in order to declare Martial Law in the island of Mindanao as his only way to capture big time drug lords who are hiding in Marawi and in the mountains of Lanao del Sur.

I strongly disagree with the attackers' extremist ideology, that is not the Islam I was taught of. The Islam which taught me to be merciful and forgiving of other people even to those who do not share the same faith with me, the Islam which taught me patience and respect, the Islam which taught me to be gentle and loving. I do not understand which part of the Qur'an or which hadith they are fighting for. Who misled these people? Who planted hatred in their hearts? Why are they so full of it? Jihad? Is it not that the major jihad that every Muslim must fight is his own ego? His own evil? They're spreading evil and mischief and yet they do not know it. They're the hypocrites that Allah (swt) has mentioned in Surah al-Baqarah. 

"And when it is said to them, 'do not cause corruption on earth', they say, 'we are but reformers."

 "Unquestionably, it is they who are corrupters, but they perceive it not." (Holy Qur'an. Surah Al-Baqarah, 11-12)

The fall of the Meranaos.

Today is the 76^th day of the siege, 76^th day of our nightmare and it seems that the end is not about to happen soon. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that my own family are internally displaced people now. My aunts and my 80+ y/o grandma left our ancestral home in Lilod Madaya on the 4^th day of the attack, they put Ina on her wheelchair and hiked from Lilod crossing Mapandi bridge up to Old Capitol and down to Emi (almost 6-8km) where a car was waiting for them to bring them to Pantar. I cannot fathom what they had to go through, the emotional and physical pain. My sister-in-law and my nephew and niece had to walk almost 2 kilometers where my brother was waiting for them as cars cannot pass through their barangay. My mother-in-law left their house with only her handbag and the clothes she was wearing. My cousin even left the money she was keeping for her children’s enrollment thinking that they’d be coming back after 2-3 days. I’m in tears now. Pause.

Everyone has a depressing story to tell. My parents are left in our house in MSU, they refused to leave no matter how strong I urged them over the phone. The military secured the campus, they told me. They felt safe. But the earth-shaking sound of the airstrikes and bombs are very loud from our house, I can even hear it over the phone everytime I call Mama. MSU is the only stronghold left for the Meranaos. If they take it away from us, then they just dim the light that put Meranaos on the Philippine and even on the world map.

The Ruins of Marawi.

Photo courtesy of Marawi City Pulse (Facebook Page)

Every time my father and I go downtown Marawi, we notice all the bad stuff all around us. Garbage, narrow streets, tarpaulins, lawless elements aka motorcycle drivers and even unruly motorists. He once quipped that the only solution is to leave Marawi and create a new one. That’s why, I told him, a lot of Meranaos flee to live in the metro or abroad and vowing never to come back. Others return several decades later to attend a loved one’s funeral or to see their loving relatives. It is like a prophecy coming to life. Seeing all the destruction, it is eerie to return to the city and live in it again. If my father and I can have our way (which is one million times impossible), we want to leave the ruined part of the city as it is. The ruins will remind us and our children of what we were as a people and how we rose (speaking from the future) from the rubble and ashes of destruction.  I hope we can build a new Marawi elsewhere, where we can apply the better change we were clamoring for, where true and just governance can take place, where we can truly change anew. Lanao del Sur is a wide and a beautiful province, we can choose anywhere around the Lake. Just please, don't take MSU away from us. 

The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, a must-read. 

Reading break. 

Sitting here and sipping my coffee while reading rants. Funny how some people can get so cowardly by posting harsh words on social media which they cannot tell someone directly. Well, well. I'd rather focus on my own life rather than stick my short nose on other people's lives. 

Kthanxbye! 

P.S.

If you take social media seriously, it will effin' drive you nuts. So. Ignore.  Move on. Continue living your awesome life. :)

An Excerpt from I Am Malala

"Would it have been better if we had not become independent but stayed part of India?" I asked my father. It seemed to me that before Pakistan there was endless fighting between Hindus and Muslims. Then even when we got our own country there was still fighting, but this time it was between mohajirs and Pashtuns and between Sunnis and Shias. Instead of celebrating each other, our four provinces struggle to get along... Did all this fighting mean we needed to divide our country yet again?

There seemed to be so many things about which people were fighting. If Christians, Hindus or Jews are really our enemies, as so many say, why are we Muslims fighting with each other? Our people have become misguided. They think that their greatest concern is defending Islam and are being led astray by those like the Taliban who deliberately misinterpret the Qur'an. We should focus on practical issues. We have so many people in our country who are illiterate. And many women who have no education at all. We live in a place where schools are blown up. We have no reliable electricity supply. Not a single day passes without the killing of at least one Pakistani. 

This girl is superb at such young age! I was watching youtube clips of her speeches and interviews and I can't help but get astounded by her unique train of thoughts for an EIGHTEEN year-old! What was I doing when I was eighteen? Did I even think of having an advocacy? Perhaps, when one is in a horrendous situation like that, it makes one's maturity shoot up a thousand folds.

The Taliban rule makes me think of the MILF ruling over us. I have nothing against them nor am I against the good intention of the Bangsamoro Basic Law, but somehow, it didn't push through for a reason. Maybe that is better for us. Maybe we are not ready yet. With everything that is going on in the ARMM, the crimes, the political clashes, the usurpation of power, how can we say we are ready to govern ourselves? I personally do not depend my freedom on the BBL nor on any political figure. Like Malala and from the experience of my own father, only education can give us freedom. Acquisition of quality education, no matter where it come either from the West or East because all knowledge and wisdom are from Allah alone, can free us from the dark abyss of ignorance and oppression.

You can watch her Nobel Peace Prize Speech HERE,  and the documentary by the New York Times when she was only 10 is HERE.   This NYT documentary opened her and her father's voice to the world. Since then, she and her father, a staunch critic of the Taliban and an advocate of women's education, were frequently invited to speaking engagements and interviews by the media. This made them a target of the Taliban. But nobody knew that the Taliban would dare shoot a child right on her face for her love of education. To their dismay, she lived to continue her advocacy and to represent the 66 million girls all over the world who are deprived of education for several reasons, the main reason is by being a girl. :( 

El Nido, Palawan. December 2013

This is the problem with staying up all night, we inevitably get consumed by our senti mood. 

I miss my man. 

No amount of technology can replace physical presence. I wonder if hologram can? Lol.

Count this as one of those mundane, nonsense posts.

There are plenty of things going around I can write about---Islamic awareness, the World Hijab Day, my stand on the GPH-MILF agreement, the anticipated implementation of the Bangsamoro Government, the lack of rules and regulation in Marawi City (more like anarchy), the environmental hazards brought about by the tons of tarpaulins around Marawi and entire Lanao del Sur, the enthronement of the Royals of Lanao del Sur and it's lack of impact on me and on the society as a whole, the Vhong Navarro mauling and extortion incident, the Napoleses and their crimes, the wild rage on the social media, the adversities faced by the Doctors to the Barrios, my own apprehensions, but I don't wanna think about the world right now. It's too heavy for me to handle. 

I am on my way to learning how to be an adult, how to think and act maturely, how to hold off my emotions once in a while and how to control my tears when I'm enraged.

I am learning. And he taught me all that. :)

Say No To Prejudice!

As I scroll down my Facebook homepage, I come across this post by Atty. Algamar Latiph to Atty. Toie Mitmug's  page. 

"Glad to hear that Anti-Ethnic, Racial or Religious Discrimination and Profiling Act of 2011 is in bicameral committee. glad to be one of the first lawyers who wrote the first working draft during the time of then AMIN Cong now RG Mujiv Hataman who first introduced and sponsored the bill at the House of Rep. I still remember when we sat with Amie Sangcopan and Raissa Jajurie i think on Nov 5 2008 at Greenhouse. Couple Atty Toie Alonto Biruar-Mitmug and Ras Mitmug also volunteered. Hopefully, this bill will be enacted into law so Muslims in this country can have a legal mechanism to redress wrong against discrimination on account of ethnicity and religion."

I am more than glad to know that there are people who exerted an effort for passing such bill. Majority of non-Muslim Filipinos, especially those in the northern area (Yes, I mean Luzon and the National Capital Region) may deny that there is an actual racial discrimination going on, as they claim that we are their "Muslim brothers" who enjoy the same rights as everyone else. However, they may be unconscious of their words or actions, but racial and/or religious stereotyping is an undying epidemic.  For instance, I was walking with a male co-intern to grab a lunch when my phone rang. It was my cousin who I normally greeted with "Assalamu'alaikom"  preceding our conversation. I absolutely heard this male co-intern let go of a loud sneering sound while I was talking over the phone. As I put down my phone, he asked me what "Assalamu'alaikom" means so I did a little lecture on how we, Muslims, politely greet one another. As the person that he is who keeps on teasing me a lot about every little thing, he said: "Hindi eh. Sinasabi nyo yun kasi by default, at war kayo sa lahat ng tao kaya kelangan niyong i-declare muna na at peace kayo with the person na kakausapin niyo". He was saying those words guiltlessly while a mocking smile was painted on his chubby face. And then our endless debate about my being a Muslim and his being a judgmental, narrow-minded person began (Of which, he wholeheartedly claim that he is a bad, bad, judgmental person). He would utter sentences that imply prejudice such as, for instance, when I unintentionally commit a mistake, he'd say "Ganyan ba talaga kayo?", or, "Muslim na 'to oh". He say those words in a joking manner, because he's really funny by nature, but I honestly take those words as a form of discrimination. And yes, I tell it to his face how pernicious he is. But you know, you can never straighten a crooked perception until you show them the truth through actions.

I think it's pathetic that we actually NEED to create a LAW so that majority of this nation's citizens will change the way they see us. But this is just the first of the baby steps towards achieving "total freedom" without declaring independence from the entire system. 

And yes, I am more than glad for the passing of this bill because when the time comes, I can literally file a lawsuit against this co-intern of mine who enjoys and loves bullying me. Hah! *evil grin* Now I can actually hear him say "Ganyan naman talaga kayo eh!". 

Birthday Post

(an overdue post. written November 6)

My age has climbed a notch higher. The only thing that puts pressure to people about getting a year older is the direct proportion of accomplishments associated with ageing. At certain age, society expects you to be like this or like that. Otherwise, you’re a failure to everybody’s eyes. I don’t agree with society dictating us how we should do about things but I absolutely agree that we must not hold ourselves stagnant only because we repel society’s standards. For every birthday comes the annual self-assessment: the meaningful things we have done and how we have contributed in our own tiny ways to the evolution of humanity. We ask ourselves how much we have learned from the dynamics of our daily lives and how much we adapted to the unsuitable conditions we try to crouch into. 

What now at 26? 

A decade ago, I see myself 10 years from my 16th birthday as someone that is so NOT me right now. I still can’t believe I’m already 26. I can be categorized as a WOMAN, there’s no confusion on that. I’m way past that confusion phase. Honestly, it took me six long years to finally sink in that I’m no longer a teenager, especially now that I’m PAST MID-TWENTIES! The truth is, as we age, we do not really let go of that child in us. We merge maturity with that tiny voice of childhood in us. I believe that if we strike a balance between the two, playing the role of an adult will come naturally and smoothly. 

Nothing really life-changing happened to me this past year, but I must say that I have increased understanding about life, love and people. I learned plenty about myself which quite surprised me a bit. I learned to fight for what I believe is right as much I learned the vital role of communication in knowing and opening the minds of people. I learned to carefully choose the people I will trust and most importantly, I know now the specific people who will run to my aid when I fall on my knees. Unfortunately on the other hand, I have specifically identified the people who will turn their backs on me in the middle of a battle. Sigh. But hey, life is beautiful! Let’s us not dwell on the negative ones, such thoughts contribute to premature ageing and we don’t like that. Allow me to welcome myself into the world of adulthood with radiant and glowing positive vibes! 

At 26, I still have so many things to improve about myself and so many things to accomplish and I’m taking things step by step. Life is just so beautiful it deserves to be celebrated every single day! Cheers to the adult, 26 year old me! 

P.S. 

I feel so lucky for having the Eid’l Adha fall on my birthday. I celebrated the day with my cousins as we also celebrated the Aqiqa of Fia, the additional angel of our family. Thanks to everyone who sent their sweetest greetings in every way that they knew. You made me feel so special! Allah bless you all! 

Elusive Peace

I’m in the middle of a routinely work when the urge of writing suddenly popped up like an old friend tugging at my back seeking for a little attention. And after months of neglecting my personal journal, here I am trying to jot down bottled-up feelings I attempted to ignore. 

I was reading a fiction called “Below The Crying Mountain” by a Filipino author Criselda Yabes about the entangled story of an American mestiza who eloped with a Muslim educated man towards the land of the “Dirty People”; and of Nahla, an ambitious Muslim woman who fell in love with a Christian soldier declared by her people as an enemy. The story revolved in the poverty-stricken and nest of rebellion Sulu. It broke my heart as the story unfolds piece by piece. My heart got even more broken when I opened the television after putting down the book and saw what happened in Basilan which is on the headlines as of speaking moment. It’s as if what I was seeing on TV is a continuation of the book I just finished reading. 

There were 19 soldiers who died in the encounter, 6 of them were held captives before they were mercilessly murdered, the news said. I heard the weeping family members airing their sentiments at how their loved ones’ lives were grimly taken. Stories of these national heroes were told and the images of them bidding farewell to their mothers, fathers, wives and kids promising to come back soon quickly flashed in my mind. Just like a scene in a movie accompanied by sobby music on the background. Little did they know, they will return as cold corpses. I can’t help but shed a tear for their loss. 

I sympathize with the mothers who lost their sons after decades of nurturing them, protecting them from the harsh rains, feeding and educating them to become better men. 

I sympathize with the fathers who worked hard to raise their sons to become perfect gentlemen and good citizens of the nation. 

I sympathize with the wives who, after days and weeks and months of patiently waiting at the doorstep, no soldier husband would arrive. 

I sympathize with the little sons and daughters who will grow up without a father at their homes. 

I sympathize with the nation for losing great men—men who died while serving their motherland. 

On the other hand, it hurts me even more that the culprit were Moro rebels. Muslim rebels, the news said. Not Christian rebels because the media knows not of any Christian rebels, only NPA who unknowingly kills and burns acres of lands in other parts of the country. But they’re not on the news. Only the Muslim rebels are the highlights. The bad guys. My people. 

There goes the media for their one-sided story, feeding the nation with false information. While we sympathize for the nineteen people who died, did it ever occur to any one of the millions of televiewers the other side of the story? How about those thousands of helpless residents who were displaced in their war-torn areas? They are the real victims in the situation. Do the media even investigate as to why the MILF attacked the AFP camp in the middle of the Peace Talk? For all we know, there must be a reason. 

Nineteen were mercilessly murdered as opposed to the thousands who were ripped off from what was left of their lands, from their dreams, from the good future that could be awaiting them. Thousands of mothers and fathers will endlessly hide and protect their children from the bullet rains fired by the national government ammunition. Thousands of children will be deprived of a happy childhood, a better education, and most importantly, deprived to live a meaningful life. Tell me, how does that differ from being killed? 

Then there’s the pushing for an all-out war against the MILF, against the Moros, against the Muslims. They want us to perish. Those people pushing such evil idea know better---there’s no victory in war, most especially, evil shall not triumph over the good. My rebel brothers in the South know that too, but why do they push for a Bangsamoro Republic when we can’t even handle ARMM? Let’s admit it, we Moros aren’t even united. We’d get at each other’s throat to gain power to fuel our pride. I believe we’re too ambitious for a Bangsamoro republic. Yes, it will happen, but not now. Let us not be governed by our impulsiveness and blinded by our pride. To quote a character from the book “Below the Crying Mountain”: 

“Of course Allah was not on his side. He was not on Allah’s side to begin with…did He ever say, take up arms and follow me? There should have been no turning back for Jolo but it kept on doing so because violence breeds violence. 

“..I’d say that of any revolution is to succeed here and now it would be the weapon of tolerance. Only tolerance will bring peace, but no one here, not the Muslims, not the Christians, not this government we’re stuck with, understands the meaning of that word. 

“…Omar failed because he was thinking only of himself. He was trying to prove something, seeking vindication because he was a Muslim. He may talk for all he wants about building an independent state for Sulu but I doubt if he knew what it meant to serve Allah.” 

In the midst of all these confusing chaos, all we can do as spectators of this reel-like reality is to pray for our leaders to make a decision that is unbiased and beneficial for all. Let us pray for a nation undivided by religion, race and language—a nation so united that people coexist peacefully. 

Amen. 

There, I just said my piece.