October 21, 2017

Reflections of a Doctor Mom

My youngest, Amreen, had high-grade fever four days ago accompanied by few maculopapular rashes on her upper extremities and anorexia. She wasn't vomiting nor having a diarrhea but I noticed her stools were soft and mucoid. I only gave her paracetamol and a tepid sponge bath while closely monitoring her fever. On the 2nd day, I brought her to the nearest ER to get her labs done. Her CBC showed plain viral infection which can resolve on its own and be managed at home. She started to throw up her milk and her medications. I hate seeing her weak and irritable and refusing to eat. It tears my heart apart and I feel so anxious thinking it might be something else overlooked by her CBC. So at 2:00 AM yesterday, Jabar and I rushed her to the hospital (the hospital where I gave birth to her, where everyone was nice and calm. Love it here.) after an episode of vomiting and spiking fever. 

Being a doctor who knows every step in the ER, the labs and the rationale of the management, I was supposed to be calm. Yes I was, but part of me gets anxious and uneasy every time my daughter cries and I can't tame her. She was dehydrated with poor skin turgor and crying without tears. I can't stand seeing her this way. Her initial CBC in the ER is still a viral picture, so the resident asked me if I will still admit the patient. I opted to admit her for rehydration and to lessen my anxiety and worry. 

                                                   

Here are my reflections while we were at the ER yesterday morning:

1.) There's a valid reason for a mom who brought her child to the ER at 2 in the morning. She's not nag-iinarte lang. Every inquiry of an anxious mom must be addressed properly. Do not judge.

2.) Every single staff in a hospital contributes to the entire hospital experience of a patient, from the security guard who opens the ER door to the nurse manning the triage area and the housekeeping staff. Being courteous and nice is valuable beyond estimation. Kindness must be the universal trait.

                                                   

3.) Stellar clerks who have lots of repeating questions are annoying. Hahaha! Especially when you were asked the same question by the nurses and residents already. I appreciate the detailed history taking though. Good job, kid! 

4.) Pedia residents and clerks should not be doing rounds to non-toxic patients especially during midnight when the baby is fast asleep. Hirap na hirap ako magpatulog nyan tapos gigisingin nyo lang! Hahaha! Really. I'm sure they'd opt to sleep either. Been there done that, 1:00 am rounds to pedia patients during clerkship. Inis na inis pala ang mga nanay sa amin! Why do we do that again?? Lol!


                                                   

Alhamdulillah Amreen's fever abated now and her appetite is returning. But her body is covered with rashes, she looks so pitiful. Breaks my heart. The attending just had her rounds and her final diagnosis is Roseola infantum and we're bound for discharge today. Yay!

P.S.
I passed the residency qualifying exam of the hospital where I applied and my 2-week pre-res will start tomorrow and here I am in the hospital trying to "study". I'll be starting with a 24-hour duty in the ER so wish me all the best of lucks in the world!!!! Hahahha! Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem. 

October 3, 2017

I got your back.
I share the burden. 
I share the tears.
I cry with you. 

But, I'll carry on. 
Let's carry on.
We'll get through this. 
I'll remain to keep that little spark of positivity alive. 
I can see the light.

Believe.
Have faith.

Just please, don't let me drown with you.