Choosing Hiatus

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose…Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect the recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood…Stop being who you were and become who you are.”

            For three weeks now, she’s scrutinizing her heart as somebody stole it from her chest—crushed it, stepped on it and ripped it on the open. She saw it bleed until no more viscous blood gushed from the poor organ and it went pallor.

            She does not blame that person.

            She’d rather blame herself for being vulnerable, for letting that person snatch the organ that keeps her alive. She could have guarded it.

            She’s still on the process of picking up the fragments of her heart and vascularizing the bruised, contused, and battered organ.

            She does not deny the presence of pain, for pain makes her human. This excruciating experience may be an indicative of growth. Awareness of its presence is at the same time reducing it and gradually letting it go.

            Her world’s may be gloomy these past three weeks, but she’s optimistic that the sun will shine on her again to nurture her heart so it can return to its place and start beating again.

            She presently chooses to dwell into the state of hiatus especially in circumstances that involves the fragile heart. She chooses to preserve her heart.

“In the words of a Persian sage: Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of. Those who catch it never try to get better, and those who suffer do not wish to be cured”

Memoirs of a Geisha

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	History
Author:	Arthur Golden

I've been very intrigued with the kind of life Japanese Geisha leads since my childhood. Whenever I see posters of Japan (probably promoting their Tourism), images of geishas greet my eyes. I wonder if all Japanese women wear those mask-like make ups and colorful kimonos. I learned everything about geishas from this book, and the misconception about their being prostitutes are very well explained in this book. I recommend this one.

beinte dos

Exactly twelve years ago, I was celebrating my twelfth birthday with my group of friends back in sixth grade. Our juvenile minds were already concerned with what will become of us in the future. I imagined myself twelve years from that day as a tall, sophisticated, young lady; driving her own car; earning her own money; single; wearing a clean, white vest with a stethoscope clenched around her neck; her outfit matched with a glittering stilettos and a properly pinned hijab; and a pair of spectacles may add to my japorms.

Twelve years had passed since that afternoon and what had become of me? You see, I thought I would become a doctor at the age of twenty-two. Certainly not. I’m still in school, still a parasite to my parents. I never grew taller than five feet and two inches. I don’t know if I look sophisticated from other people’s eyes but surely, I am a young lady. I don’t have my own car because I am not yet earning my own money. (I’m gonna learn driving pretty soon). Yeah, I’m not committed. I wear clean, white uniform during schooldays, without a vest. I’m gonna have a stethoscope strangling me this semester and onwards. I’m not comfortable wearing stilettos on ordinary days and I try hard to pin my hijab so it would look orderly. I dread the day that I would wear spectacles for it indicates an eye disorder.

            At twenty two, I may not be the woman I imagined I would become but I’m proud to say that I finished a degree with quite a few flying colors and I am working on becoming that woman I dreamed of twelve years ago, without the spectacles please.

For my 22^nd birthday, I made a wish list of what I want to receive this year (ei, I’m giving you guys a clue, don’t you get it? Lol!) I actually made this three weeks ago.

1. Littman stethoscope 
2. A pair of comfortable shoes
3. A huge rectangular shoulder bag (to stuff in my essentials so I would no longer appear like a Christmas tree going to school with all the bitbits)
4. An alarm clock that sounds like an earthquake that about to swallow the earth. I badly need one to keep me awake.
5. Original DVD of House, M. D. and Grey’s Anatomy.

People, you know where to find me on my birthday. You know my number, you perfectly know where to contact me and where to mail the box! Hahah! And oh, I also like surprises.