Photo courtesy of PostSecret.

The Non-Clerks.

It has been a week since we baptized ourselves as "non-clerks" after starting to rotate in the Ancillary Services. Technically, we are still, of course, clerks except that we don't have to suffer the 24-hour++ duty, writing lengthy history, physical exam and progress notes of patients, doing ward works and that helluva pressure of being a clinical clerk 24/7. Ah, we're past that already and hey, look at us, Group 4 have emerged unscathed!! Wohoo!!

The sad thing though is, we go on duty in pairs which means that for the next two months, I wouldn't be able to see (unless scheduled) the rest of my groupmates (I miss you already, buddy Juey and adorable nightmare Tisoy!). So my partner is the Korean Bug (as she's been fondly called by Dr. Marquez), Sheng aka Shengita/Shenggay/Toy/Pet.

In this rotation, we will report into 8 minor departments: Anesthesiology/Dermatology, Pathology/Rehab Med, Health Centers/Psychiatry, and Ophthalmology/Radiology during clinic hours. That implies how much free time we got on our last two months of clerkship! So below are some photos of Sheng and I in the O.R. as Anesth clerks and our killing-time moments at some nearby coffee shops. 

Since I am blessed with so much spare time, I jot down the productive things I plan to do (ahem, good luck to me! )*shunning away procrastination* :

a. Finishing my backlogs, i.e., discharge summaries, IM census, etcetera. 

b. Reading both medical and non-medical books. As you know, reading time is meager while on duty. And I seriously need to catch up on my internal medicine readings since it is the rotation in which I read/learn the least. I almost read none!!

c. Write more. I have abandoned my journal for quite some time.

d. Watch more movies. Yeah, I'm catching up. I've seen Good Will Hunting (a 1997 film that made me understand why a lot of girls drool over Matt Damon and why a lot of guys wanna be just like him!), Black Swan (a psychological horror film that made Natalie Portman Best Actress in the recent Golden Globe Awards), The Social Network (Mark Zuckerberg, I appreciate your genius but I wish you didn't entertain your idea of creating Facebook!),  Tangled (a feel-good movie that will surely blow your blues away!) and Love and Other Drugs (Anne Hathaway!!). :) And counting!!!

e. Go home frequently. Since we don't have weekend duties, I want to spend more time with my family. Nothing beats the feeling of being at home.

f. Laag/Lakwatsa/Travel! Our group is still deciding where to go. Possibly at Dahilayan in Bukidnon. C'mon Shengita, draft our lakwatsa schedule now! Weeee!!

The point of this entry is to make the rest of our classmates who are "still clerks" jealous!! Haha!

So, I Was The One Who Got Away.

What you are about to read was written last August 14, 2010 on my personal journal (which I unintentionally abandoned for the past two months). I was supposed to write under the title "To The One Who Got Away", but while I was constructing my thoughts, it occurred to me that all this time I was the one who actually got away! So here. 

Hi. It's been a long while. While I'm staring at my lappy monitor, the cursor blinking right at me, you suddenly crossed my mind. Probably because the three of us were together this afternoon so I thought of writing this for you. 

Changes. How it abruptly occurs they don't even send a signal. While the factors affecting it is a blur I cannot pinpoint. Several years ago, the idea of us becoming strangers to each other was unbelievable. We were a circle of tremendous allies who seemed unbreakable, we were sisters! We reckoned we had a colossal foundation to start our friendship with! But look at us now, our coexistence seems negligible. We belong to the same world yet we try to build our own worlds apart creating our own covenants.

Was it really you who got away? Perhaps, I was. I blame myself for having the tendency to escape as a form of precaution. I sensed the impeding doom brought about by the monster I and the others had discovered in you. Such a waste of beauty only to be rotten by greed, envy and lies. But who am I to judge you? I am not perfect either. The difference is I know I am not perfect. Do you?

Admittedly, I was the one who changed between us. I sincerely seek for an apology for dropping off everything we had. It may not be the mature thing to do but I can't stand being all hypocrite like you, acting as if nothing has changed. Call me mean and whatever names you can think of, talk on me behind my back, I don't care. So be it. 

As I'm scanning our photos accumulated for our almost four years of friendship, I can't help but feel nostalgic recollecting our childish conversations, our whining about petty stuff and our dreams. Dreams of going to med school together and of becoming doctors someday. Cliche, but it surely seemed like yesterday, chatting in the vacant classrooms, waiting for our professors to arrive while ranting about our daily lives. 

Just so you know, I miss you. However we must accept that we cannot replay our past and get back into each other's lives just like that. There's already that thick line that divides us. As the pages of our lives turns to another, so as our perceptions, feelings and decisions.

We will part soon, very very soon. I hope you cherish our good memories together as I do. I will try to forget everything that happened. I will try persistently.

I have forgiven you, I pray that deep down in your heart you have forgiven me too. :)

Good luck to both of us as we embark on a new journey. 

Answered Prayer

 Finally, matching is done. There's basically none to fuss about. Just another phase to conquer. :) 

Alhamdulillah. 

Code Blue

"Every noted doctor was inexperienced at first". -Dr. Aizawa

This Japanese medical drama had been a craze among my classmates last year. It's a cross between Grey's Anatomy and House MD minus the former's excessive drama on love, sex and life and the latter's seriously crazy only-in-the-books medical diagnoses. Now that the craze had died down, it's my turn to rise! Hahaha! Yeah, the non-conformist side of me is talking. Anyway, I just started it last night at the quarters while I was on duty out of boredom. BOREDOM?! You heard me right, twelve lang ata admissions namin ni Sheng last night! Benign! Back to Code Blue, it's a story about young doctors on their first year as trainees in Emergency Medicine. What I loved about it is that their cases are the common ones you usually encounter in the ER like orthopedic emergencies, cardiorespiratory arrest, shock and etcetera, plus they're Asians! :) I can't wait for next week, during my Ancillary rotation so I can finish the entire 2 seasons! 

A 2010 Summary

Better late than never! :)

2010 has been a wonderful year full of challenges, new experiences, new environment, new people, yet full of stress, doubts and contemplations for me. Let me a share a few photos that has been memorable. 

Pre-clerkship groupmates. 

We were junior medical students then at the beginning of pre-clerkship. Everyone was so eager to explore the hospitals and be called junior clerks or interns. Little we did know what real clerkship would be like. :) 

My best friend Lily who has just graduated from medical school. In few months time, she'd have her license (to kill, joke!) and be called Dr. Mamari. 

2010 has been a year of friendship as I try, at least once in a while, to re-connect with my friends who are away just to keep the ties even closer. This is a year of meeting new and old friends alike. 

Tampoy and Yas. My future lawyer friends.

 A blurry photo of Nimai and I. My future ambassador new-found friend. 

Dr. Abdul Aziz Ontok. One of the few people I looked up to at med school. Met him again during MSU Foundation Day as we pay tribute to their batch, the pool of new physicians. 

 My housemates and bestfriends for the past two years. We eat together, sleep together, laugh together and somehow cry together. We've seen each other's summit and deepest points. *sigh* I love these girls, Gans and Miss Ayin. 

 Of course, the older sister I never had, but I have. Thank you for the words of wisdom and for everything that you are. My precious, Ate Diane. 

The people I spent my 2010 New Year with, and I know it'd never be the same again! Hey, Adnan and Mabi! :) I love this photo. Haha. 

Bit's homecoming with some of our nurses friends. :)

If I'm going to quantify the time I spent with my family this year, it would amount to less than 5% only. Imagine? I've been only one-hour away from home but clerkship took the precious moments I should be spending with my dearest loved ones. Alhamdulillah, I was able to go home during the Eid'l Fitr and for the first time in so many years, we had a family photo together. Yet, we were incomplete because my brother Alexander was in Singapore for his OJT. He's home now though, a total changed man for the better. 

(at the back from left) Moi, Papa, Mama and Amanee (my soul/sole sister)

(front from left to right) Ahmad, Jalal and Zul. 

Alexander enjoying his six-month stay at Grand Hyatt Hotel, Singapore. Having the best time of his life. Cheers to the new you, brother! I'm so proud of you. I love you!

This has been a year of opportunities for me also. Having qualified as a scholar of the First Gentleman Foundation Inc. for the last year in medical school as well as for the internship, we were granted to have an exclusive visit at the Malacanan Palace together with one of our parents. Another highlight is having our essay published in a book by the said foundation. In return to this is serving to the Doctor To The Barrio Program of the Department of Health, which I am so much looking forward to. 

"Dream, Fighter and Believer."

Father and I at the Palace grounds. 

With the stuff we received from the foundation. Shukran Ya Allah! This happened few days before Father's Day and it was a perfect time also for me and my Dad to enjoy each other's company. I love my Dad so much I don't wanna be a grown up so I can be his little girl forever. :) 

In the midst of clerkship, 5 of us flew to Manila for our internship interview at one of the best hospitals in the Philippines. We were not only happy that we qualified but we were happier we were able to have a quick break and just stay away from toxicity. :D There, we met up with our seniors who are now interns at the said hospital. The photo above is with Miss Ayin, yes, my former housemate who's now an intern.

Now let's go to the highlight of this year. If 2010 can be described in just one word, for me it would be CLERKSHIP. No other. Starting April of this year, we go to the hospital every single day, spending at least 24 hours attending to patients, writing paperworks, making reports and studying cases. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Except during our Community Med rotation. Hence, there's no way you won't get close to your groupmates who are with you during your clerkship ups and downs moments. 

With the Group A, divided into A and B.

GROUP 4 A. My beloved friends. I won't say anything about them here because they deserve a whole new entry. :) 

This is also a Year of the Food as my gastronomic appetite won me over. Hence, my significant weight gain. Aaah, I love delish foods! 

With good company around, who doesn't?

Fontina's chicken pesto.

Fontina's Burritos

Dinner at Doc Vega's. 

Zoey's Strawberry Smoothie.

Mandarin's Tropical Fruit Salad.

Coffee Works. 

Kung clerkship ang pag-uusapan, I got tons of photos I'm having difficulty sorting them out because everything for me was memorable. Indeed, 2010 was a blast! I hope 2011 is explosion of new events, travels (and lotsa travels!!!), new people, and as I wish for everybody, may I also find what I've been searching for. Or, prolly the other way around. Sa maka-gets lang. Ay nah, Group A people, DO NOT REACT.

May we all have another blessed 2011!!