Protons

              When everything seems perfect in my life, I plummeted into the darkest pit called Negativity. I became spiteful, irritable and reproachful. I became a monster I never figured out I would be in my dire attempt to keep everything around me in order. I had a constant feeling of disappointment, frustrations and hopelessness. I was full of doubts and mistrust. It certainly had a tremendous effect on my relationship with my loved ones. They are the ones who suffered for my twisted negative thinking. Until I came across a book called The Secret. It holds the greatest secret of all prominent men in history---POSITIVITY. It talks about the power of positive thinking and how you can convert your negative thoughts into positive ones. Life is very simple, we should always keep in mind that "what we give, we receive". Human beings are likened to transmission towers of powerful energy manifested by our thoughts and feelings. 

(Googled photo)

                Like a powerful transmission tower, what we give out into the Universe through our thoughts and feelings about the different aspects of our lives -- relationships, health, dreams, and finances--- will bounce back to us in equal or even more intensified. If we practice positivity in our daily lives, we will exercise patience, compassion and gratitude. We will have an open heart and mind, we feel like our life works harmoniously with the Universe. Everything flows smoothly, even if we are faced with difficult obstacles, we can easily get off the hook and proceed spontaneously as we wish it to be. The main ingredient of this book, the superstar of them all is gratitude. Sometimes, when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, the rest of our day is ruined. That is because we didn't find around us anything to be grateful for, we were not being grateful for the life given to us by Him.

                   I know this would be no easy feat but I am trying to live the proton life every single day. The most amazing thing about it is that I have understood the very essence why we, Muslims, are required to pray five times a day. We do not pray to merely ask but we pray in order to be grateful, to speak the two powerful words "Thank You", at least five times a day to nonetheless but the Creator. We thank Him for every single minute miracles in our lives, from the air we breathe, our circulating blood, our family and friends and every single source of happiness and joy in this world. 

                    I encourage you to look around you and find something to be grateful for. Also, when you pray, do not ask for anything without expressing your gratitude first. Feel it and you will receive, in shaa Allah. Join me in sprinkling protons in this world! Let's start by sharing a HUGE smile to the people we meet and everyone around us. Smile, it's sadaqah (charity). :)

El Nido, Palawan. December 2013

This is the problem with staying up all night, we inevitably get consumed by our senti mood. 

I miss my man. 

No amount of technology can replace physical presence. I wonder if hologram can? Lol.

Count this as one of those mundane, nonsense posts.

There are plenty of things going around I can write about---Islamic awareness, the World Hijab Day, my stand on the GPH-MILF agreement, the anticipated implementation of the Bangsamoro Government, the lack of rules and regulation in Marawi City (more like anarchy), the environmental hazards brought about by the tons of tarpaulins around Marawi and entire Lanao del Sur, the enthronement of the Royals of Lanao del Sur and it's lack of impact on me and on the society as a whole, the Vhong Navarro mauling and extortion incident, the Napoleses and their crimes, the wild rage on the social media, the adversities faced by the Doctors to the Barrios, my own apprehensions, but I don't wanna think about the world right now. It's too heavy for me to handle. 

I am on my way to learning how to be an adult, how to think and act maturely, how to hold off my emotions once in a while and how to control my tears when I'm enraged.

I am learning. And he taught me all that. :)

The Arrival

We normally see a hanging signboard outside the doctor's clinic informing us that the "Doctor is IN" or if we are unfortunate enough, the "Doctor is OUT". But in my workplace where I am the Rural Health Physician, you don't see those signboards primarily because I don't have a decent office. Well, I SHOULD HAVE a Rural Health Center that constituents of other municipalities normally enjoy. So instead of seeing "Doctor is IN", you'd hear "The doctor has arrived!" and people would come swarming around us like bees. That happens on almost every duty day at Tubaran, Lanao del Sur as a Doctor to the Barrio.

                                 

I've been re-deployed for almost three months now, and apparently, according to the local residents, I'm the only healthworker assigned in the municipality who comes regularly.  The top reasons are:

1. Lack of a Rural Health Center 

    This lack of a major health facility creates a domino effect by hindering ALL health services which are supposed to be provided to the constituents as part of their natural human rights. There was once a functional RHU, according to folktown's tale, but was crushed down to rubbles more than a decade ago by the supporters of a political candidate who lost the election race to the present rulers. More than a decade later, the local chief executive who was sitting for more than three terms in the office, finally thought of building an RHU (as well as a municipal hall!). As of speaking time, our RHU is on it's way to the final touch. 

2. Lack of health workers.

    No health workers have been regularly going in the area for countless years already. The constituents would have the luxury to be visited by doctors only during medical missions, at least once or twice a year if they get lucky. They seek medical consult at the nearby municipality of Binidayan which they will have to hike for at least an hour because of the unpaved, dusty and bumpy road. No health worker coming from the IPHO (Integrated Provincial Health Office) is willing to be assigned in this place, only I and one contractual midwife dared. I always get raised eyebrows and shock on their faces whenever I mentioned the place where I am currently assigned. I don't know why but I'm fine with Tubaran, I like the heartwarming gestures shown by the people as well as the local officials. I personally feel welcome in the area. :) 

For the remaining few months of my contract as Doctor to the Barrio, I intend to maximize my time in the name of health care service delivery. I hope and pray that the local government speeds up the building of the RHU so we can settle where we should be settling. Presently, we hold our clinic right outside the Mayor's office in his own home. We feel at home din. Haha. 

People sometimes ask why I went into the DTTB program and endure of difficulty of going into the geographically isolated areas and (somehow) stagnating my medical knowledge when I can go into residency to be molded into the "ideal physician" everyone aspires to be. Serving the rural area has taught me to become a better person, my personality took a giant leap from the pushover medical clerk/intern to the one who makes sure that everyone is busy at their assigned tasks aka the "leader", the "head of the unit". I am still learning to dance with politics as it is already tied up tightly with my job. I failed at my first area of assignment, but I am learning here and I hope I get the rhythm of the dance.