Words for 2015

Last year, I started what I want to be a tradition on this blog about picking two words that closely defined my year. I got this idea from Rica and I wish to make it as a tool to help me ponder on the year that had passed. Being a full time wife and mother who lives a routinary life away from home, my words for 2015 are not difficult to guess. 

MOTHERHOOD 

This is a no brainer. I spent more than half of 2015 carrying my precious little one inside my womb. With the help Allah, the Most Merciful, it was an easy pregnancy and an uncomplicated delivery. In the first eight months of the year, I reflected on how my own mother carried and raised us especially when she was pregnant with my triplet siblings. So it is true, you appreciate your mother more when you become a mother yourself. With every ache of my back, every sleepless night, the numbing of my hands, the heaviness of my tummy, I think about Mama who suffered more than I do for sure. In those days, I never failed to thank her and make her feel appreciated whenever we have a chance to chat on Facetime. Mama and I never see each other eye-to-eye in my growing up years. Yes I was always the acquiescent daughter but I harbored grievances that she never knew of. It was her personality clashing against mine adding up to generation gap, something that we failed to understand from each other. I prominently came to understand where Mama was coming from after I gave birth. She was, and still is, a working mom. Digging into the past, Mama used to rise up as early as 3:00 am to do the laundry (she was using cloth diapers then for my triplet siblings!), prepare my brother Jalal and I for school, and making sure that we don't skip breakfast. By 6:30 in the morning, she's set for office and us for school. And oh, she also breastfed us until at least we're 6 months of age! On weekends, she never failed (until now) to pay her social obligations by attending weddings, engagement parties, wakes, or simple family gatherings. This year made me conclude that my own mother is a Superwoman who I can never measure up to even half of her!

                                      

Motherhood is the best thing that happened to me and I won't get tired of saying it over and over again. It tested my patience and temperament this early including my workmanship in a team called marriage. It made me laugh, excited, worry and cry all at the same time. My daughter has opened my eyes into a whole new perspective about existence. Her presence in my life lead me to identifying the most important things that I need to focus on.  

DECLUTTER

Along with the immense joy that motherhood has brought me is my quest to live a positive and happier life. This means letting go of both material and intangible things that's been cluttering my mind, my personal space and my life. We hold on to material things because we hang on to the memories they bring, that is mainly why we collect stuff. Many years ago, I started collecting journals, photos and souvenirs. I don't easily let go of my old notebooks and even old clothes until I noticed how much space they're taking up in my room. Before 2015 ended, when we came back home for a short vacation, I started to sort the things that I don't really need and gave them away. I already said goodbye to some of my journals by burning them down in 2014 before I flew to Bangkok to join my husband. Memories are important but they are more meaningful if we hold them in our minds and hearts. 

                                

This year, I also let go of some relationships that only bring hurt. It is better to burn bridges before the fire reaches you. I let go of the people who devalues me and my dreams and those who disrespects me. I learn to say no to those who are emotionally blackmailing me and finally standing strong for myself. In that way, I began to see the real people who loves me and shares with my happiness. I began to appreciate, give love back, and deal with relationships in a more mature way. Life is too short to be focusing our energy to people who only bring negative vibes in our lives. 

I am so thrilled for 2016 to unfold! I know a lot of exciting things are awaiting ahead, in shaa Allah, as I watch my daughter going through exhilarating developmental milestones that bring warmth to me and my husband. I pray for a lot of things including continuous good health, protection, more acts of worship for Allah, and a love-filled hearts for my family and friends. 

May Allah bless us all, happy 2016! :)