Long Weekend Feels

I love how random moments become extraordinary when captured through the lens. *insert camera emoji here*  

  

I hope everyone enjoyed their long weekend! 

Ad Interim

Jabar came home today carrying empty balikbayan boxes. Balikbayan literally means repatriate and these huge boxes are privileged duty and tax free when sent to the Philippines by OFWs. The sight of these boxes signals that we are about to leave soon. That would be less than two months from now. I will have to say goodbye to my comfortable Bangkok life and say hello to chaotic Manila and God-knows what's in store for me there. I feel nostalgic about this city as early as now. Thinking about it, this is nothing new to me. I have been a nomad since I started medical school in Iligan City. I haven't stayed in one place for at least 5 years straight since then. I have lived in Iligan, Manila, Cotabato, and then back to Marawi for less than two years before I moved here in Bangkok. It's always a cycle of heartbreak from leaving the customary life I got used to (including saying goodbye to the people I got fond of) and then eventually settling into an unfamiliar environment. I never liked goodbyes. But this nomadic life teaches me a thing or two.

A Temporary World 

Collecting things was a fad in my teenage years. I had friends who had likings for cute mugs, stuffed toys, note pads, note books, colognes or anything so long as we had a "collection" to call in order to fit into the circle. I collected colognes in high school and then started my book collection in college. I buy them from my school allowance so that means skipping a meal a day. Some of those in my circle elevated their collections into bags, shoes, make-ups and perfumes. Seeing my properly arranged cologne collections back then and my perfectly stacked books on top of my tiny cabinet brought so much satisfaction. Until I started moving from one place to another. Naturally, I only take with me my basic needs leaving everything behind back home. While I am away, some of my siblings like to take over my room and rearrange my stuff to accommodate theirs. Through the years, some of my "prized possessions" got lost (except the books which I usually leave inside my father's library so nobody touches them) and eventually realized that collecting unnecessary things only add up to the mess. I cannot take them wherever I go anyway. Hence, moving from place to another made me let go of "collecting" material things.

"Know that the life of this world is only play, and idle talk, and pageantry, and boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children; as the likeness of vegetation after the rain, whereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller, but afterward it drieth up and thou seest it turning yellow, then becometh straw. And in the Hereafter there is grievour punishment, and (also) forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure, whereas the life of the world is but matter of illusion." Holy Qur'an (57:20)

Islam strongly emphasizes that we, earthlings, are but travelers on this world. Someday, we will perish taking with us into our graves nothing but what our souls have acquired. We are always reminded how temporary this world is. This lessens my hold on material things by discriminating what I really need from what I only want (thus more savings for the husband? lol).

Change Is Constant

I should have known this gazillion years ago but I admit to have oftentimes fear change. I think I am the least person adaptable to change. I need plenty of time to acclimatize before situations finally sink in to my being. But I cannot stop it from happening. The universe is in constant motion of changes so does our nomadic life and I must accept that fact. Jabar usually finds me looking at old photos and tracking down physical changes or reminiscing the past. It's not a healthy habit, he told me. Frequently looking back on the past hinders you to enjoy your present, he reminds me. There, hard truth shoved right on my face. I guess I need to delete my timehop app.

"[...]but it may happen that you hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, you know not." Holy Qur'an (2:216)

Allah Is The Best Planner

Hardly a day goes by without me thinking of what tomorrow would bring. If a telescope is drilled inside my head, you will see my mind thinking like a domino. Rarely do I not ponder on the consequences of every action or circumstance. So I always have a plan at hand, always an A and a B. The bad thing though is, I am not a flexible person. I get frustrated once my plans didn't push through. I would like to be spontaneous but I have difficulty getting it into my system. One thing that I keep forgetting is the presence of a Great Force that arranges the sequence of my life in a suitable manner.

"[...]they plan, but Allah also plans; and Allah is the Best of Planners."  Holy Qur'an (8:30) 

Allah has proven to me many times over how a failed plan lead to a more productive alternative. Never did living abroad passed through my mind, but marrying someone in the Foreign Service is a consequence of my choice. When Jabar accepted the posting in Nigeria (he was an adventurous single guy then), he was assured of crossposting to Pakistan after two years. His travel order was already made but circumstances further delayed his crossposting. We almost lost hope and I already settled my mind of a life in Africa. Nothing's bad about that, Abuja is a great place for expats. But when he caught malaria for the fourth time, it pushed him to write a letter to their home office to recall him if crossposting will not take place. He was then crossposted to Bangkok few months before I end my DTTB stint. Subhanallah. Indeed, Allah knows what's best for us.


Hellos and goodbyes should have been incorporated in me by now. This is the life that we will live for as long as Jabar stays in the Foreign Service. We will have to raise multilingual third culture kids who will struggle with fitting their identity into their community. Alright, that's me thinking twenty years ahead to the future. What I mean is, I should get used to this.

International Course: Neurology for Non-Neurologists

It was a month ago when an offer to take an international course in Bangkok was posted on the page of IMAN (Islamic Medical Association of the Philippines). I inquired about it thinking that it is the best way to jump-start my slumbering brain while setting aside the question on who's to take care of the little one while I am on a 2-week course. But as Mr. Coelho put it, "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."  By all means, we found someone to look for our Amina while I am in class. It was a major separation anxiety on my part, but I need to deal with the reality of leaving her at times when I return to work. 

The international course was Neurology for Non-Neurologists which was conducted by Prasat Neurological Institute (PNI), a Thai government institute, which aims to train general physicians all over Southeast Asia about updates in neurology and neurosurgery, focusing mainly on stroke and epilepsy. There are five of us from the Philippines while the rest of the 20 participants are from Myanmar and Laos. They invited doctors from other Southeast Asian countries as well but only participants from the abovementioned nations turned up.  

Outside the Thai Massage and Acupuncture Unit with Dr. Tipyarat Saringcarinkul (the one in pink dress on my right) . Yes, massage and acupuncture is included in the post-stroke Rehab management as statistics proved that those procedures increase patients' recovery rate. They have a spa right inside the hospital! Unfortunately they only cater to patients. Haha! Otherwise, we would loooove to have some foot massage and try acupunture too!

Aside from the different set of lectures, we were also exposed to the facilities and the actual medical management that PNI has to offer. In the Philippines, government hospitals are synonymous to being stinky, crowded, undermanned, lacking medical amenities, with stressed, stressful and rude staff including doctors and nurses. But in PNI, we were surprised at how advanced and modern the hospital is! Sure it is crowded, like any other government hospital, but it doesn't stink and it is well-maintained! Too bad I cannot post photos taken inside their Rehab building and in the Acute Stroke Unit to prove my point. Haha! They even have a prayer room for Muslims, that made me appreciate it even more. 

The two-week course expanded our horizon about the medical culture in our neighboring countries. I learned the difference in the structure of our medical education. In Thailand, as well as in Myanmar and Laos, they do not need a 4-year pre-medical course before entering medicine proper. Instead, they have a six-years medical program consisting of 3 years of pre-clinics and 3-years of clinical skills. Here in Thailand, they spend one year of internship and another two years of working in the communities before they earn their medical license. Medical licensure exam in Thailand consists of three parts: 1.) written, pre-clinics 2.) written, clinical skills and 3.) oral, Objective Structured Clinical Exam (OSCE), each part given on different times within a year. Now that we have started to adapt the K-12 program in the Philippines, I believe we also need to restructure our medical education so as not to waste those years of learning some courses which are not vital in the medical field.  

Neuroradiology Conference

They bring actual patient during grand rounds where resident extract history and perform physical exam right in front of everyone. After that, the patient is then brought to the ward and discussion continues. 

Neurology Grand Rounds 

Living here in Bangkok for more than a year now made me notice how polite and respectful the Thais are. In fact, as I always tell my friends, I have felt discrimination as a Muslim more in the capital of my own country than here in Bangkok. Truth is, the Thais never made me feel like I am different because of this piece of cloth on my head or because of my language. Generally, Thailand is a nation of respectful people. This trait is deeply embedded in their medical culture. Sure there is also a hierarchy but consultants do not insult or put down residents and interns during rounds and/or conferences. We have initially observed this during a neuroradiology conference. An intern orally presented the case, no powerpoint presentations whatsoever, and then a resident presented her clinical impression and differential diagnoses. The consultants asked a few questions or some clarifications and added their thoughts on the discussion. The atmosphere was light, there was no stress nor sense of impending doom in the air, the discussion was free flowing from all sides: the interns, residents and the consultants. It is way far from what happens during grand rounds and conferences in the Philippine setting where consultants shout, yell and insult residents and interns who cannot pop the "right" answer to their questions. We, Pinoys, primarily assumed that no boljakan happened because of our presence, the international students. But, we've also attended several grand rounds and the same thing happened! I got the chance of asking Dr. Metha, one of the young neurologists, if this is the regular set-up on a normal grand rounds. He affirmatively said yes. I asked what happens in a scenario when an intern/resident cannot answer some questions thrown at them and this is his exact answer: "Oh it's okay. This is a training hospital so we cannot expect that they know everything, we do our best to teach them the knowledge that we know. Grand rounds is an avenue for learning and should not be stressful." And he smiled. Waaaaah!!!! I wish all consultants in the Philippines think that way and I pray they realize that putting down interns/residents in front of everyone will first, hinder the learning process which will reflect on that person's performance as a physician; second, drops someone's self-esteem; and third, definitely won't make them a better person. I think most consultants in the Philippines have a problem with bloated ego. I am not generalizing as I met plenty of consultants who are so kind and are devoid of issues *winks*. Perhaps it is a consequence of the competition in the medical arena. I believe our generation of doctors condemn this practice so I hope the time comes when this will be obliterated and free flowing medical knowledge and ideas would ensue. In shaa Allah.   

With Dr. Thanaboon Worakijtharnrongchai, the one wearing a gray long-sleeved polo shirt at the center. 

Dr. Khwanrat Wangphonphattanasiri at the Epilepsy clinic.

Team Pilipinas, reprezzent! (back L-R: me, Faizar, Nash, front L-R: Marwa and Weng)

More than the medical knowledge that we gained (and weight too!) is gaining friends! It is my first time to meet my co-participants from the Philippines and it is so amazing how easily we have clicked! Learning was so much fun when you're with like-minded people. Besides, it was my pleasure playing tour guide and introducing to them my favorite halal Thai food and restos. I am sure they had enjoyed their stay while maxing out their cash for shopping! Haha! I wish to see them again in Pinas, now I have a reason to visit Zamboanga City in the future. In shaa Allah.  

I am grateful to Dr. Naheeda Mostufa who informed us about this course and to Sir Mark Santos who submitted our application for a slot. They are instrumental to the knowledge that we acquired and to the priceless experience that we had. Alhamdulillah. :) 

Life's Turnaround

Three months being with our little munchkin (and without having a yaya), I can quite say all the cliche things they say about being new parents are absolutely true. It completely turned our life around, not only our daily life schedules but the entire life plan ahead of us. Marriage did change me as a person, yes, but not as much as when the little one arrived. So I'm listing down here the things that have changed so far.

1.) BREAKFAST 

      The hubby and I used to have our breakfast together, but nowadays, we only do so during weekends. After fajr, he'll prepare his breakfast (I used to do it for him) while I head to the bathroom to prepare my baby's bath. I will have mine after the hubby leaves for work and baby takes her morning nap (yeah, babies sleep a loooot). 

2.) WATCHING TV

          We used to do it with all our  hearts' content. Nowadays, we turn the TV off as soon as baby sleeps. I try to sleep early as well so I won't feel groggy in the morning. Having said that, I will then proceed to...

3.) SLEEP

           This is where I made the biggest adjustment!!! Everybody knows how much of a sleepyhead I am. Back when I was having hospital duties, I always find time to sneak at least an hour of sleep, or if I can't, I surely make up for all the lost sleeping hours on my day off. But being a mother??? THERE IS NO MAKING UP FOR IT!! Like I said in one Facebook post, it's like being on an endless perpetual duty without postduty status. Especially that I have no one but my husband to relieve me when I'm drop dead tired. My husband who is equally tired form work. The most difficult was the first two months, I was literally looking and feeling like a zombie! Sleep deprived and still in physical pain from childbirth, this resulted to my postpartum blues. Nevertheless, I easily got out of the dark feeling, thanks to the helpful and supportive husband who does the things when I feel so tired to even cook a decent meal. He even allows me to go on a me time once in a while (problem is, I still can't keep my mind off my baby so I always rush back home. haha!) while he is left at home alone with the baby. I am glad he's a hands on dad. He can do everything except giving her a bath for the reason that she's still very fragile daw. 

4.) PEACEFUL MEAL

         It is so rare nowadays to have a peaceful meal without my baby demanding to be cuddled or be fed, like yeah, she calls for an attention right before we're about to eat! What I do now that she's three months old is I let her sit on my lap while I eat. Multitasking like that. :D 

5.) BEAUTY ROUTINES

        Pre-baby days, I can't let a day pass without putting on moisturizers and lotion even if I only stay at home. Nowadays, I even feel lucky if I get to take a bath on time. Lol! Kaya pala sabi nila nakakalosyang maging nanay. But of course I won't allow myself to wither like that only because I became a mom. I still find time to do my regular beauty regimen and I'm religiously doing it not just for myself but for the husband as well. Chos.              

6.) GOING OUT/MALLING/TRAVELING

        Becoming a mother or a parent is like trading my freedom for this super cute munchkin sitting on my lap right now while I type. Haha! Gone were the days when dating was a regular habit and when we would spontaneously hop on a bus off to somewhere. Nowadays, even going to the nearby mall must be planned ahead of time. Everything has changed. I still dream of traveling to many places with our baby, but perhaps, when she's older and less demanding. 

7.) READING BOOKS OR CHECKING SOCIAL MEDIA

        I used to finish a book in two, maximum of three days depending on the plot and the book's thickness. Now, finishing it in a week is already a victory for me. Even in using social media, my friends have noticed how my posts became lesser and lesser by the day. Well, aside from the "less social media, happier life" mantra I want to adapt, it's really the lack of time. Now that my daughter is very interactive, I'd rather play with her than check on what's going on with other people's lives. 

8.) RESIDENCY PLANS

           If I were single, I wouldn't mind where I am going to apply for residency and the amount of time and work it demands. I can live in the hospital the whole duration of training and sacrifice my social life. I am secretly wishing to apply at SPMC in Davao City or NMMC in Cagayan de Oro City, but with my husband's work which is based in Manila, I have no other choice but to apply within the vicinity that is also near our home. I also have to consider the toxicity of the hospital where I would apply because I want to have a life-work balance. I absolutely do not want to miss the important milestones that my daughter is achieving as she grows up. My husband was long prepped as to how it is being a resident and I am lucky that he's been assuring me that I got his back.  

9.) HUBBY'S NEXT POST

            It is yet too early to plan for this, but hubby has many considerations for his next posting. It should be where I can practice my profession and most importantly, a country that can provide a quality education for our child/-ren. If not for us, I'm sure he would be adventurous and wouldn't mind wherever part of the world he gets assigned like when he was first posted in Nigeria. Lol!


Sometimes late in the night, the husband and I would contemplate a life without our daughter. We can picture a very boring and sad life repeating our routines day after day after day :( While my daughter is peacefully sleeping, I would stand or sit beside her like a creep and utter a heartfelt gratitude to Allah for the biggest blessing He has given us this year. I was ready to give up everything just to have her and I did temporarily sacrificed my profession, hence, she  is with us now. Alhamdulillah.

I need to pinch myself sometimes to make sure that I am not dreaming. Everything is perfect. Right now.

Our Little One Goes Malling!

If being a wanderlust is encoded in the genes, then my daughter has definitely inherited the trait. I am grateful to be living in the heart of the city where malls and leisure establishments sprout like mushrooms. When my baby was still inside my tummy, I used to explore the neighboring malls, coffee shops, bookstores and restaurants almost on a daily basis. I easily got bored inside the house so I try to find refreshing reading nooks. Perhaps babies love the swaying and bouncy feeling inside the womb when the mother walks that's why they seek it when they're in the outside world. 

We first brought Yam to Central World when she was only 3 weeks old. My mother-in-law who stayed with us after I delivered was scheduled to fly out of the country that week so we treated her for lunch. We were sort of "forced" to bring the baby with us. But I was secretly pumped up because it was also my first time to wander right after delivery. I was dying to smell the outside world!!!     

                        

Jabar rocking the Ergo baby carrier.

I was quite surprised that Yam behaved the whole time. I was expecting that the new environment and the noise would make her fuss, on the contrary, it lulled her to sleep! Very good, anak. :) 

                   

Mom-in-law and sister-in-law in Manhattan Fish Market at Central World. Look at my tiny baby with her thin legs! Awwww... And please don't mind those extra width on my hips. I am still edematous here. I've already shed a significant amount of weight as of press time, those in the tummy and hips are quite stubborn though and I haven't got back to the gym yet. I completely have no idea when I will start to try to lose weight. I'm still enjoying my daily eat-all-you-can meals! Haha! 

Three weeks later, we brought her to Emporium and Emquartier, the mall that is stone's throw away from where we live. This was where I frequent when I was preggers because of its proximity, it is less than 10-minutes on foot. So far, this is where we usually bring our little one. I love Emporium and Emquartier because it is less crowded and it offers various pretty and delish restaurants, plus we don't need any transpo vehicle to get there, we only need our feet and her stroller!  

"Ina, when will I get to eat all these food?"

Our first ever dining experience as a family

We noticed later on how much she looooooves going out! She was fussing and crying one afternoon for no apparent reasons. She had just finished feeding, her diaper's fresh and I was carrying her on my arms. I was so stressed I went down the building to buy chips with her on her stroller. And lo! She stopped crying as soon as we stepped out of our unit when she has seen the parading lights on the hallway and at the lobby. From then on, I always bring her at the building lobby every afternoon where she's fascinated by the lights, the people she sees, and the noise she hears. Haha! It's too early to tell, but she might not inherit my introversion.  

I can't wait for my future travel buddy to grow up!

A father will always be her daughter's first love. >3 

Halloween in BKK

The embassy hosted its first ever Halloween party for the staff and their families last night. Now guess who's the youngest party-goer? No other than our little Yam! It's the first ever party she has ever gone to and it's a halloween! Hahaha! I don't remember going to any halloween party before so I guess, it's my first time too!  

This mummy greeted guests at the door. 

I have no idea what to wear for the party since I don't like being either under- or over-dressed so I came being just my usual self with a big ribbon-headband on top my head. Hahaha! For the little one, I dressed her in a sailor girl outfit, a gift from Jabar's former colleague, and accessorized it with a pointy evil-horn headband with a pitchfork. Pink para matchy-matchy kami. Hihi. 

Embassy peeps. Hubby wore his kimon and red sahal. To those who might comment why he wore a religious outfit for a halloween party, relax.  He doesn't mean to disrespect the symbolism of the said outfit, like I said above, we came as our usual selves. 

With Ms. Lanie

Someone doesn't seem to enjoy the attention but she was so attentive to everyone. She was observing everybody especially the kids as they were running around. She doesn't seem to get irritated by all the noise, in fact she was enjoying seeing a lot of people and the lights on the ceiling. Is it too early to train her social skills? 

With Ms. Mae and her pretty daughters Sandra and Sofia who came as the Addams Family. 

Food, singing, games, the little one and I enjoyed everything!

With Khun Yupin, the Thai embassy staff who's being a huge help to everyone in their office. She was one of our first visitors at the hospital when Yam was born. Khun is a Thai equivalent for Miss and/or Mister.

With Ms. Michelle who came as Chun Li. 

There's Jeremy, Ico and Sofia, who topped the 3 best costumes in the kids category. Vice Consul Jay who hosted the event came as a Bangkok motorcycle driver. Haha! Nice! 

And the night was capped with the award for the top 3 best costumes: Manith as Sadako, Ms Lanie and hubby as witch and skeleton, respectively;  and Ate Rose and hubby as Lola Nidora and Rogelio (pero siya daw talaga si Alden! hahaha!) respectively. 

'Til the next embassy party! Thanks for inviting us!