Re-structuring

This pandemic has disrupted our daily routine -- both in a good and bad way. For us in the residency training, it somehow slowed things down. It lifted the daily pressure of complying with residency activities and focusing only on seeing patients which is a major breather for a short while until the hypo-productivity is dragging us all down. 

I live in routines, and a slight detour of my daily activities would be difficult for me to regain the momentum. Before the pandemic, I had so little time to sleep having to wake up very early in the morning so as not to be caught in traffic and doing my home readings late at night. I was used to that albeit complaining of this unlivable metro condition. This lockdown gave me so much time that I spent most of it having extra time sleeping because I no longer worry for the traffic. 

I feel like I've wasted my two months, except for the priceless time I spent with my daughter, Amal. Other than chief-resident's stuff, I've indulged way too much Netflix, which seems to be a bad habit now (oh, please watch Ertugrul, Hospital Playlist and Reply 1988 if you haven't yet. CLOY? I'm done with that too).

Ramadhan has passed, Alhamdulillah, I feel very spiritually productive though. I only missed very few tarawih nights and finished 8/10 tahajjud prayers. It's better compared to my performance in the previous years. May Allah accept our good deeds. 

As GCQ comes to a close, I need to re-structure my daily life. There is so much that needed to be done and I am not moving any finger to finish my tasks. Subhanallah. My research is still hanging and I need to be done with it so I can finish residency and fly to Jeddah as soon as possible. There is no getting used to this LDR thing. I don't want to miss my kids' growing up years. 

I reckon this covid virus will still linger but we are slowly transitioning back to our normal lives. Although it will never be the same again. If you really think about it, this pandemic is a major game changer and you know that somehow, it brings blessings. It changed the way how we lived and yet, it made us realize what is really important in this world.

What are your realizations? 

Haiyan/Yolanda

I was given an opportunity to see what looks like a post-apocalyptic scene at Tolosa, Leyte. The ARMM health contingent was the first to arrive in the area. We have seen the sadness in their eyes and heard the mourning in their voices. It was heartbreaking beyond words.

Bangon, Pilipinas. 

The Zambo Mission

What happened in Zamboanga City few months ago stirred the whole nation. Peace and order instability has a domino effect on the society, economy, and ultimately, health status of the people. Hence, when the crisis broke out in Zambo, the IPHO-Lanao del Sur set out for a Humanitarian Mission under the mandate of the DOH-ARMM. Zamboanga City does not belong to the jurisdiction of the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) but it is undeniable that most of the affected are natives of the island provinces of Basilan, Sulu and Tawi-Tawi which belong to the ARMM provinces. Besides, we need not nit-pick to whom we should offer our help. 

After almost ten (10) hours of land travel, we arrived at Zamboanga City at around 6:00 pm. We had a short briefing with our bosses from the IPHO and with the DOH-ARMM and DSWD-ARMM. 

Some of the stuff we brought were lugged by no other than our big boss. 

When we arrived, some of the establishments in the city were already opened. We didn't feel the tension in the air just yet. Everything seemed normal. 

Our team was greeted by ARMM Regional Governor Mujiv Hataman on the first day before we set out to the barangays to do the works. 

We were treated to this tausug specialty called Satti. It's like the Javanese satay minus the peanut sauce. I am not familiar with the satti sauce. It was also served with cubes of rice.  

And then the mission began. 

This ambulance was our makeshift mobile pharmacy, so we can easily pack-up and ran if anything untowards happen. 

At Brgy. Talon-Talon. One of the barangays afflicted with the crisis. It certainly felt like a ghost town upon entering the vicinity. Most houses were locked, small sari-sari stores were closed and you barely see people on the streets. 

Our resident photog. Rocaya. Visit her at www.rocayaaa.tumblr.com because we're friends. Haha! 

While we were doing medical consultations, a smoke hovered above us. It was a signal that a house nearby was being allegedly burnt down by the rebels. We also heard loud exchange of gunshots which obviously signaled us to pack up and leave. Nevertheless, we were able to maximize our services by going from other five barangays in the outskirts of the city where evacuees sought shelter.

Our good friend, Racquel, spent her birthday during the mission. What a great way of spending an important milestone of your life in the name of service. Great job, Racqs! :D 

Doctors at your service. :)

Our experience was a mixture of excitement, fear, adrenaline rush and the strong drive to offer health services. With what was being shown on TV, it was understandable that our parents and loved ones were hesitant in allowing us to go to Zamboanga. But when unconditional service is in your blood, you are always ready to take a leap where you are needed. 

Sino'ng manok mo?

For the past months, I haven't yet settled my mind on who to vote this May 10 election. Since I am a first-time voter, I want my idealism to surface. A classmate asked me once why I didn't register in my hometown where apparently election-money flows freely. "Yayaman ka dun.." he told me. That's exactly the reason why I decided to register here in the current city where I'm located, I want to vote for those people I choose to be in the position because I strongly believe in their capacity to lead the country. Without any stain of hypocrisy, I honestly don't care about the money involved in politics. It's a temporary benefit knowing that the entire country will suffer if we don't put the right person on the right post. I have been carried away by the Cory magic that I thought Noynoy was the best choice. With Kris beside him, everything in the government will surely become transparent! After watching the V-Presidentiable debate on Harapan two weeks ago despite the unfolding of their dirty lenins in public and their personal attacks on each other, Mayor Jejomar Binay had a strong appeal on me. I'm having my personal research about the presidential candidates through the internet until I stumbled on this summarized attainments of the top presidential candidates.

oopsie..it looks like a magnifying lens is needed. for a clearer view, you may want it here.

One thing for sure, now I know which block I am going to shade on May 10, 2010. :)

Eviction

I consider myself lucky for having most things smooth sailing for me. For example is finding the perfect boarding house before I enroll for med school. A month before graduating from undergrad, I have already reserved the place and talked to my professor who owns the house. Luckily, my cousin Bains who was a medical clerk then (now a doctor) lives in the same house so I never had difficulty negotiating with the management and adjusting with my housemates. Unlike most of my non-Iliganon classmates who had a lot of complaints with their respective dorms, I never had one. This is an advantage of being a planner. Hehe. I never experienced hunting for that perfect house because this boarding house is just perfect for me. This was the exact picture in my mind of where I wanted to live when I am in med school---uncrowded, conducive for studying, spacious, a sense of privacy and no disputes with the landlord because in fairness to them, thay always assure us of our security and comfort. Most of my classmates are envious of my place especially when I mention how cheap our monthly rental considering the appliances I personally brought here and the WiFi. This place, for me, is heaven in hell. :)

Mid-last year, my landlord's daughter and her family moved in the duplex next door (where our landlord lives). They planned to talk to us about getting our place as they are settling here in Iligan for good. I didn't know about it until our landlady talked to me this afternoon. Her daughter and her husband (who are, by the way, doctors: husband is oncosurgeon and the wife is a pathologist) want some privacy with their two kids, but Ma'am wanted us to finish the entire school year before asking us to move out. She politely explained to me everything this afternoon and I totally understand her. Besides, this house was built not for commercial purpose but for their daughter when she was in med school. While she was away for her residency training, they decided to rent the place to help medical students like me who are looking for a comfortable and cheaper place. Now she's back to claim her place.

I was teary-eyed and in awe when my landlady was apologizing for her sad news. I really love this place and I had set my mind that the only time I will move out is when I finish my degree. I have difficulty resetting my mind, changing my plans and unlove what I have grown to love. Aside from that, clerkship's few days away and I have A LOT of accumulated things here. I hate moving from one place to another but the situation calls for it. Good thing, Ma'am has given me until mid-April to look for another place to stay for my last remaining year in med school. Besides, I won't be staying in the boarding house most of the time 'coz when clerkship starts we will be unofficially become boarders of the hospital.

House hunting will start tomorrow, I know I will not find a place as perfect as this but I hope I can find a place where there is comfort and peace of mind. :)

The Jeep Fiasco

While we are flattered when we catch an attention from the opposite sex, please show it discreetly naman. We appreciate glances BUT we are disgusted when you stare at us like you are stripping us naked. And when we catch your eyes while looking at us, we expect you to turn your gaze away first. Otherwise, we would take it as if you want to say something to us. When we raise both eyebrows, we expect you to say something and not continually stare at us while a picture of sarcasm is painted on your face. Ano, magtititigan ba tayo? And when we ask you why you are staring at us, do not throw back the question: "Why, is it bad?" because the answer is definitely YES. Why? Because, for God's sake, you are a complete stranger to us and we do not know you!! Your action only shows what kind of person you are--- a disrespectful, imprudent bastard who lacks manners.

And reminder, if you really can't help but stare at us in the jeep, do not sit beside us. You are just making yourself too obvious, it would make us very uncomfortable and do not blame us when we get fuming mad at you and you hear words you swear you don't wanna hear. Although we are both of the same tribe, it doesn't mean you are given the permission to stare at us like that. In fact, you are supposed to be more respectful and protective of us. 

Whoever you are, we hope you learned your lesson. You deserve it.

Somehow, we appreciate the apologies. We know we are drool-worthy but  like we said, never do it to any woman because what you received from us tonight is the minimum, because you know what, you deserve some spanking!!

lush

it's a strange thought but, i reckon, mother earth can get back on its green and verdant nature if everything on it will perish so it can start all over again. the cycle of degeneration and regeneration. that'd be the end of mankind.

i'm just reminded of the movie Knowing.

On Politics

          Once in a while, we swerve out of the everyday routine that life dictates and find ourselves in situations we aren’t supposed to be in. Nevertheless, there isn’t any flickering remorse as such circumstance opened our minds and brought us into another dimension of our very existence that most medical students are heedless of. That, my friends, is the familiar word POLITICS. Yes, we hear about it everyday from the television, read political headlines on newspapers, see politicians’ faces on tarpaulins and infomercials but most medical students give them a mere shrug. Our lives revolve around the library reading books, correlating the signs and symptoms to the lab result of our patients, or digging down our cerebral cortices for the pathophysiology of the possible diagnoses jumping in and out of our heads (we’re facebook addicts too, by the way). Yes, we care, too, about our country’s governance because we are affected by our patients’ inability to buy their medicines due to poverty. We give our opinions regarding the political state of our country and find ourselves cursing the culprits of the nation’s suffering, our very own sufferings. We accuse them, the president down to the senators and the congressmen, of graft and corruption, of stealing what is supposedly for the people, of being political turncoats. We judge them just like that. Yes, I curse them and they cannot blame me.

          But I ask myself, what gave me the right other than being a natural citizen of this country to air my grievances when I haven’t even exercised my right to suffrage? I want change for the better to take place; I want a bright future for myself and for my siblings and I want to raise my future children in this country free of corruption and violence, but I dare not took the single step towards change—casting my votes during national and local elections. I had been an eligible voter for five years now and haven’t tried voting, not even once. It’s woeful, I know. It’s not my choice not to cast my vote; it’s the chaotic situation that demanded me not to do so. It’s for personal security and the realization that my right to suffrage doesn’t make any difference as obvious vote-buying and electoral manipulation seems normal as the beating of one’s heart. He who has plenty of money (which comes from god-knows-where) and who has adequate power to grip the people on their necks wins the race—it’s not about he who can bring progress to the land and can unite its people to act harmoniously as one. It is a very pitiful situation to contemplate on, making the word HOPE an illusion of the past.

          However, if I continue being an idle citizen of this nation allowing my illusion of hope to endure getting buried and trampled upon by selfish and ambitious political figures who care only about their images and their wealth, I might as well forget my delusion of a bright future and I might as well step out of medical school as all hard works shall not pay off if I continue being a passive citizen. We medical students make an implication on how we don’t care about the political happenings in the country as there are certain set of individuals responsible for political jobs the way we are responsible for treating our patients. But we must also take into consideration the web we are all moving within, that the action of the people on one side deliberately affects us on the other side.

          Hence, I encourage everyone to take a stand and get involved into the process of electing the set of people who shall run our government in the next coming years. Our choice this coming May Election will reflect on our country’s stability, our oneness as a nation, our future and most importantly, our choice will reflect what kind of people we are.

          Somehow, despite all the odds, I can see HOPE shimmering from a distance, signaling it’s not yet too late. We can do something to put a halt to our country’s suffering, thus we must act. NOW!

This time, I took the step towards my goal towards change—electoral registration. Have you?

Another Goodbye

          Ramadhan’s almost to end and I haven’t written about it as I was planning. I have always been looking forward to this Holy Month insofar as I can recall. It’s not the “starving” part that elates me but the exquisite dishes my mom prepares for Iftar. I used to imagine that Ramadhan is for her to showcase her culinary skills. Come to think of that, thirty unintermittent days of my favorite dishes on the dining table and after-Tarawih desserts. No kid wouldn’t love that!

          Children are exempted to fast for the whole day so I liked it when my parents wake me up at three in the morning for the Saum meal, I felt like an adult who is compelled to fast, I felt important. At twelve noon, when my father notices my lips turn to grey he orders me to break my fasting and assures the seven-year old me that my half-day starvation would still count. I would do the same the following day and he tells me that my two half-days equate one whole straight day of fasting like an adult does. So apparently by that, I would still receive divine reward for my “fasting”.

          Nearing puberty, my parents got stricter on my Ramadhan habits. I was no longer allowed to break my fast at twelve noon, I need to complete the whole day without having anything by mouth—nil per orem. Initially, I liked it for I was treated like an adult—being served like a VIP during Iftar in consideration for starving for that day. Mid-month came and daytime cravings surge up, that’s when I knew how it is to be hungry, heard my stomach grumble and felt abdominal burning sensation. This time, I was the one begging my parents to allow me to break my fast.  They warned me that should I break my fast without their knowledge, it is not them who’re going to punish me. It is Allah. And I cannot hide from Him because no matter where I am, He is seeing over me. He sees everything I do and knows everything in my heart and mind. Alhamdulillah, never did I made an attempt to secretly eat and break my fasting. None that I can remember of.

          Step by step, I got educated about the significance of Ramadhan into each and every Muslim’s life. Why do we starve ourselves and hold steadfast to our prayers? We are not ordered to starve for punishment, we are to fast so we will be able to feel how the miskin—the poor, the needy, the homeless—feels like inorder for us to have compassion towards them and this teaches us humility. We are deprived of worldly things so we learn self-restraint. By this, we learn self-discipline and empathy which are expected for us to continue all throughout the year until such good qualities that the Holy Month taught us will be instilled into our personality thus making us better Muslims. It is during this month that we do not only detoxify our physical bodies but also our souls, we ask forgiveness from Allah and to all the people, who one way or another, we have wronged. We clear our hearts from all the grudges and envies that are residing therein. At the end of the month, we give Fitra (charity) to the needy in any form and any possible way we can.

          Having a greater understanding of this Holy Month’s meaning makes me look forward to it annually. The magic of this month triggers me to start anew (albeit one needs not to wait for Ramadhan to turn over a new leaf), get closer to my Creator and become a better person and a Muslim.

          For three years now, I have been spending Ramadhan away from home. It is difficult not being with my family during Saum and Iftar meals, there are even nights when I am eating alone and worse, nights when I wasn’t able to wake up to eat Saum meal. I got used to it eventually so long as I can spend the first and last days with them especially the Eid. As the Holy Month bids farewell, I ask for forgiveness from those who, aware or unawarely, I have wronged as I have forgiven all those who have caused me heartaches.

To Ramadhan, ‘til we meet again!

EID MUBARAK everyone!

wordpress

i'm thinking about moving to wordpress. aside from trying something new, i think it's cooler there. i could link friends/fave blog sites. but i wonder if i could carry along my old entries there. needs somebody to convince me! wohoo..

Obra 02

some photos i took at mapawa during the second camp. photos with my face on it were taken by hadsot.

My Fabulous Summer!

Tell you what? I’m the busiest person on earth this summer. Everyday, I woke up past 7 am (sadly, I’m missing my dawn prayer), then I would go downstairs to watch my siblings prepare for their summer classes, I’ll just watch them. Hehe. Then, I would join Mama and Papa on the table for breakfast and see them off to office. Most of the time I am left alone. Ah, no big a deal. Then, I would tidy up the kitchen, the dining table, wash the dishes, sweep and mop the floor. After getting soaked with household chores, I would take a bath and go to my driving lessons at 9:00 am. My driving teacher is quite strict so I have to be there on the dot. Then, I’m home again at around 10:00 am. Between 10-11:00 am, I would either read a book or watch a movie or just turn the television to watch Hana Kimi (the Taiwanese version) or watch some episodes of FRIENDS which I am so much into right now. Oh, I will tell you in my next entry about the movies I’ve watched and the books I’ve read. I promise.

Then, 11:00 am signals for preparing lunch because everybody will come home. After lunch, I will retire in my room and continue where i left off of the movies i watch, my readings or just simply singing to the tunes of my favorite songs. Sometimes, friends text me for an afternoon get-together and off I would go and meet with them just for some catch ups. We would talk about how our lives are going on, the new people we meet, the people we knew who are not present at the moment, and what we mostly do. And then we’d reminisce and laugh and just keep laughing our brains out and tell incredible stories about so many things. And that lasts until very late afternoon. If I don’t go out, I would grab the walis ting-ting and sweep/rake off the leaves that fell from our trees in our yard and pile them in a corner where my brother will burn when dried. My grandmother loves that burnt-leaves scent, just so sad she’s not living with us. I miss Ina.

Then at night after dinner, I would go to my brothers’ room and check what’s new in the internet. Most of the time, I left their room when I’m too bothered with their snoring. Imagine four men snoring heavily and simultaneously. I bet that wouldn’t be like music to your ears. Then I would quietly sneak into my sister’s room where I am an official squatter. I don’t sleep in my own room because of the scattered mess that my things from the boarding house created. I will fix them again when I am to return to the boarding house.  

Yes, that is summer of 2008 for me. So darn busy!

On the serious note, I chose this sedentary lifestyle to spend my summer. It really feels great to be back home, and just plainly staying at home. I really miss doing the household chores and making tea for Mama and Papa when they come home from work. I better seize all these opportunities of being at home because I will never know when this is gonna happen again. You see, our lives has its unexpected turns and twists. Things happen the way we never expected them to be, stuffs that never lingered into our thoughts just come our way. And as we grow older, our attention is pulled to numerous stuffs that we forgot to stay at home and feel the essence of resting into our abode. That’s why this summer, I chose to stay home.

Semestral Brrr-eak!

 Semestral Break was the time I look forward to when I was still an undergraduate student. It is synonymous to sleeping 'till noon, watching movies whole day and whole night, subscribing to unlimited texting, going out freely with friends, and reading fictional books that I missed during the peaks of exams.
          Now that I am in PostGrad School, I still look forward to SemBreak, but it's a lot different now. This is my time to patch up my social obligations with my family and friends. This means attending family affairs/gathering and catching up with friends whom I haven't seen and talked to for quite a long time.
          I got home from Iligan last week (Thursday), a day before the Eid. As expected, I get bombarded with family and organizational events. My family had a small salo-salo at home during the Eid, where my aunts, uncles and cousins traditionally brought food. The next night (Saturday night) follows the RC Rites for the new batch of members (Al-Fatihatul Aq'l), which includes my brother Jalal and my sister Amanee. The RC (Ranao Council) held a special assembly on Sunday, which I wasn't able to attend because I failed to get up early that morning due to fatigue caused by consecutive overnights preceding that day. My body surrendered to the luxury that sleep has to offer. Nevertheless, I went to the RC Dinner that night. Yesterday, Monday, I stayed at home the whole day and did my chores that I owe to my siblings for the entire semester that I've been away from home---cleaning the house, cooking and washing the dishes.
          I am at the Main Library at this very moment (Tuesday), I am planning to do an advance-reading on my Surgery book. This one made a great difference with my SemBreak, I used to throw all my notes and books under my bed when SemBreak comes and forget them for a while. This time, there's no way I'd do the same because I'd be leafing through them over and over again for the next four years, even after Med School I'll still find myself going back into the loving arms of these books.
          I'm halfway into the chapter I'm reading when the framed Map of the World caught my eye. I remember my fascination for world geography and history, so I set my book aside and looked for the World Atlas on the shelf and here I am locating my fave places in the world that I've been targetting to step my feet into in the very near future. 
          For the next two weeks before the opening of the second semester, I'm planning to finish all my L.I.'s (Learning Issues) that I'm going to present on the first day of school, finish reading Memoirs of a Geisha and The Zahir, finish House, M.D. series, visit to ukay-ukay, and more bonding with friends (ASS Kickers and Lily).

I'm MULTIPLIED!

Where do I start? (deep inhale..prolonged exhale..) This is my first time to post a blog here in this site, kinda new to me (blogging is not, though). I've been hearing about Multiply since last year but it didn't gave me any spark of interest. Jehan has been bugging me to create an account here but due to my endless fidelity to Friendster, I just gave her a shrug. Few nights ago, I slept over at Mabi's boarding house; our chitchat that lasted 'til dawn lead us to Multiply, Friendster, MySpace and all these sites that caters to people who either wanna express themselves or tie some connections. I couldn't figure out what kind of mantra she discreetly chanted on me that lead me into creating this account. Oh well,  it doesn't hurt to try something new anyway. So here I am, welcoming myself to Multiply!