Obra 02

some photos i took at mapawa during the second camp. photos with my face on it were taken by hadsot.

So Long, Rajee

I never imagined that my recent preoccupation by DEATH would actually happen to my family. What's sad about it is that it happened in the middle of our family's mini-reunion at home. Death transformed itself into a dengue fever and has taken away my three-year old (turning four) cousin, Rajee.
He's the youngest child of my Aunt Fatma and perhaps the most lovable kid since at such juvenile age he's capable of conversing like a big boy. Although he lasted only three years on earth, he has left our hearts an indelible deep mark that will forever hold dear to us.
Ba-bye arikulay, be our guardian angel for as long as we live.

The Shinagawa Monkey

Mizuki was at her desk, listening to the radio in her room when she heard a faint knock at her door. She opened it to find Yuko Matsunaka standing there, dressed in tight polo neck and jeans. I’d like to talk with you, Yuko said, if you have time. ‘Fine,’ Mizuki said, frankly taken aback. ‘I’m not doing anything special right now.’ Mizuki had never once had a private conversation with Yuko, just the two of them, and she’d never imagined Yuko would come to her room to ask anything personal. Mizuki motioned for her to sit down, and made some tea with the hot water in her thermos.

‘Mizuki, have you ever felt jealous?’ Yuko began.

Mizuki was surprised by this sudden question, but gave it serious thought.

‘No, I don’t think I ever have,’ she replied.

‘Not even once?’

Mizuki shook her head. ‘At least, when you ask me out of the blue like that I can’t remember any times. Jealousy… What do you mean?’

‘Like you love somebody, but he loves somebody else. When there’s something you want very badly, but somebody else just grabs it. Or, there’s something you want to be able to do, and somebody else is able to do it with no effort…Those sort of things.’

‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way,’ Mizuki said. ‘Have you?’

‘A lot.’

Mizuki didn’t know what to say. How could a girl like this want anything more in life? She was gorgeous, rich, did well in school and was popular. Her parents doted on her. Mizuki had heard rumors that on weekends she went on dates with a handsome college student. So how on earth could she want for anything more?

‘Like what, for instance?’ Mizuki asked.

‘I’d rather not say,’ Yuko said, choosing her words carefully. ‘Besides, listing all the details here is pointless. I’ve wanted to ask you that for a while—whether you’ve ever felt jealous.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

Mizuki had no idea what this was all about, but made up her mind to answer as honestly as she could. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever that sort of experience,’ she began. ‘I don’t know why, and maybe it’s a little strange if you think about it. I mean, it’s not as if I have tons of confidence, or get everything I want. Actually, there’re lots of things I should feel frustrated about, but for whatever reason, that hasn’t made me feel jealous of other people. I wonder why.’

Yuko Matsunaka smiled faintly. ‘I don’t think jealousy has much of a connection with real, objective conditions. So that if you’re fortunate you’re not jealous, but if life hasn’t blessed you, you are jealous. Jealousy doesn’t work that way. It’s more like a tumor secretly growing inside us that gets bigger and bigger beyond all reason. Even if you find out it’s there, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. It’s like saying people who are fortunate don’t get tumors, while people who’re unhappy get them more easily—that isn’t true, is it? It’s the same thing.’

Mizuki listened without saying anything. Yuko hardly ever had so much to say at one time.

‘It’s hard to explain what jealousy is to someone who’s never felt it. One thing I do know is, it’s not easy living with it. It’s like carrying around your small version of hell, day after day. You should be thankful you’ve never felt that way.’

~~~HARUKI MURAKAMI

****

Nobody lives a perfect life on earth. While it is healthy to look up to those above us and aspire to emulate or at least level up with them, let us not forget that there are those who are below us—those that reminds us to be grateful we are not living a hard life the way they do. We must be thankful for everything God has given us. Let not jealousy eat us from our core, because before we know it eats us wholly until nothing has left of us.

Ken Zhu's second album

*this was released early this year. i'm still looking for a store that actually sells his CD. wala 'ata sa Mindanao eh. badtrip.


***drool*** so adorable***

Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Haruki Murakami

It is basically a collection of Murakami’s 24 fictional short stories that tells about unusual characters and events that brings true-to-life messages. I love how he captures mundane everyday life experiences, the littlest unnoticeable emotions and strange occurrences that make one dig out what is inside of himself and realize his true worth. He also interpreted the meaning of dreams, hidden feelings, unspoken wishes and forbidden physical relationships. I particularly liked the romantic Greek exile of lovers who are both committed to their respective spouses; they went to a Greek island where no single soul knows them to start anew. I also liked the story of a brilliant student who after going to the university learned that there were many realities in this world. It’s a huge world, there are lots of different values coexisting, and there’s no need to always be the top student. There’s also a story about making us realize that the most frightening thing in this world is our own self. What do you think?

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Parenting & Families
Author:	Rebecca Wells

I included this in my most-fave books. =) The naughtiness of this four girls—Vivi, Caro, Teensy and Necie—is so much fun! They grew up and grew old together. I liked that they didn’t separate their ways even after marriage and they have their own special friendship rituals; they dealt with each one’s struggles—death of a loved one, raising up kids, marital conflicts—together. Their sincerity, love and truthfulness fueled their friendship, devoid of insecurity and jealousy because they know that each one of them has a peculiarly unique characteristic. After finishing the book, I sat down and ponder about my friends. Who can be Vivi, Caro, Teensy or Necie in my circle of friends? Who am I among them? I think I am lot more like Necie, the one who could sense a boundary around her and did her best not to step over the line.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	History
Author:	Khaled Hosseini

This depicts the story of two Muslim women, Mariam and Laila, who lived their life during the heights of changing wars in Afghanistan. Both women struggled to fight for their own rights as a woman under the banner of Islam. Unfortunately for them, they live in a country whose laws misinterpret, took advantage of and abused the true teachings of Islam and thus making it appear to the world how radical the religion is. It is pitiable for them that they are being treated as donkeys by their own husbands, given away by their fathers without their due consent, that they are not free to practice the profession they desire, that the laws are hard on them (wearing burqa, not being able to walk on the streets alone without the accompaniment of a mahram, prohibition of talking to a man who is not a relative..etc)—all because apparently, according to the teachings of Islam. I beg to disagree. As far as I know, Islam gives equal freedom and rights to both man and woman. Although we have given different liberty from that of men, that is because we have different roles to portray in this life—mother who nurtures and a father who provides. Women must not be deprived of education, our fathers should not allow marriage without our consent, we are only to cover the parts of our body that would draw attention from men, and most importantly, our husbands must treat us like a queen—with all love, kindness and respect that we deserve. Alhamdulillah, I am born to a society that accepts and makes me exercise my rights and freedom as a Muslim woman. Tashakor, Ya Allah.

The Kite Runner

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	History
Author:	Khaled Hosseini

Now, this is a superbook! I scarcely weep over sad stories (yeah, I feel for the characters, but cry? Not me.) but this one really, I have to admit, made me shed plenty of tears. This is the kind of a book that I have to pause reading and take in a lot of air before continuing cause it really breaks me. It tells about friendship, family, society and social hierarchy. It talks about the pre-Russian invasion of Afghanistan, the Shorawi occupation to the terrible Taliban era. I’m now a certified Khaled Hosseini fan. For a physician to excellently write like that is extremely admirable. Kudos to all Muslim and Asian authors!

Kaluha

If there’s one person I can metaphorically tag as a friend since we were still zygotes inside our mothers’ wombs, that would be Lily. Our fates crossed when we were six years old, during our Kindergarten graduation practice. I remember her as the chubby, curly-haired little girl who owns the Chinese garter I attempted to borrow. Little did I know that we would be glued to each other until adulthood. Our friendship is not a perfect one, we had our fair share of squabbles (lots of them I can’t even count with my fingers and toes) nonetheless we still survived. We were classmates until high-school until I had my academic shortcomings although we went to the same school until college pursuing the same degree. Those times we were classrooms apart in high-school, I recall she would call me in the middle of my class just to hand me a heart-shaped colored paper with the words: “Take Care, I Miss You!” signed with her name on the bottom (her trademark is a spiral-shaped sun that comes with a macaroni-shaped rays, or sometimes a deflated heart. Hehe.) . Since grade school, we always go to school together (we used to be neighbors) and go home together. We never ran out of topic to talk to—mostly about her boys. However, we’re not the kind of friends who are exactly alike. In fact, we are quite the opposites. Physical law of magnetism truly applies to us. She’s more of the talker while I’m the listener; she’s the life of a party while I’m a flower vase; she a fashionista while I slip into whatever comfy clothes I have in my closet; she loves socialization while I’d rather settle into the solitude of anything readable; she jumps to the showbiz section of the newspaper while I stick into the front page; she loves loud color while I choose quiet colors; she's the talk of the town while I live a quiet life..Hehe... In spite of our characteristics collision, we also have our numerous commonalities—more on the way we think. We share the same principles in life and somehow, some interests. Now that I’m academically one-step behind her, I follow her tracks and try to avoid whatever mistakes she stumbles into. In other words, she serves as an example to me. Cheers to a lifelong friendship! Mwah!   

Us. Now.

Ken Zhu (my love) sings "Here We Are" in Manila

This was during the unforgettable visit of Ken Zhu, member of F4, in Manila sometime in 2004. He's the first Asian actor/singer I love (as in real LOVE..hehe) which started during the Meteor Garden mania. Nagpaka-jologs ako nang dahil sa kanya..haha! I used to buy stickers of him, life-size posters, etcetera. Lahat ng ka-jologsan ng isang fanatic. I studied the Chinese culture, Buddhism, Singapore (self-reading lang); I sung Mandarin songs (F4's and Ken's songs) by heart. Feel na feel ko ang moment. Because of him, I ultimately dream of going to Singapore (he grew up there). wahaha! Kaya mahal ko ang Asya at ang kultura nito. I also remember, I had my ear pierced (upper lobe edge) coz he has lots of body pierces (a total of seven). Until now, I still can't get enough of him. I am a proud MRS. ZHU! Haha!

Good Frog Hunting

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Entertainment
Author:	Laurie Graff

FINALLY, I finished reading Laurie Graff’s Good Frog Hunting (Looking for Mr. Goodfrog in other editions) after months of marveling of when I’ll be able to finish the book. I bought it last summer when I was desperate, no not desperate, “looking” for tips about lurve is more fitting term. It is one hilarious book as the main character, Karrie Kline, wanders into seeking Mr. Goodfrog described as a single male; rather than seeking Mr. Right who’s not only single but also intelligent, attractive, funny, successful, non-commitment phobic male. Her encounter with various men, in which she always ends up as one humongous loser, made me lose track of their names. She met a lot of frogs in the pond and hoped for that thing that’d last eternally, but nil came up that’s real. Nevertheless, she never made that portion of her life stop her from what she really loves—acting. Instead, she created a one-woman show based on her lovelife branded Frogaphobia. Then, nung successful na siya saka pa nagsidatingan ang mga walang kwentang frogs. Puchax talaga.

Why she’s searching for a boyfriend:
“…knowing the travel time would be spent praying you wouldn’t feel awkward standing alone with no one to talk to during all the awkward moments you’d be standing alone with no one to talk to because that’s what happened when you went to one of those things dateless and alone.”

Yet again,
“Was commitment fate, or just a decision one chose to make at a certain? Did love propel
commitment, or was it the other way around? And if that was the case, what’s love got to do with it?”

Ano ba kasi talaga?

Last Night at TEDT'S

Open na ang McDo dito sa Iligan! Yay! But the mall, per se, is not yet open. It will take million years pa siguro bago ma-entirely furnish at magkaro’n ng laman. Hay. Finally, may existing mall na dito sa Iligan (“pero Gaisano parin” ‘ika nga ni Lily). Dahil hindi mahulugan ng karayom ang McDo, Ate Ayin (my housemate) and I ended up at Tedt’s, just some few steps from the mall. I love their Chicken Pasta Supreme and Kubori Biko. Speaking of biko (a local dessert made up of sticky rice topped with sugar or coconut milk latik), we were at the library the other day talking about what snack is available at the canteen when I suggested biko to Jho, she referred to it as “eeewww..biko, I don’t eat that!”. It was a joke, of course! One who doesn’t eat biko mustn’t claim him/herself as Pinoy or Meranao! We kept on laughing when I called her: mamanti and sumasayan. (Meranao slang, I don’t know how to translate them neither in Tagalog nor English..hehehe).

Anyway, I’m not gonna talk about biko though masarap talaga ang Kubori biko nila sa Tedt’s. But my conversation with Miss Ayin at Tedt’s. We were in the midst of conversation about our lovelives or rather about her palalabs (kasi wala nga naman akong lovelife na ikukuwento) when she told me na mataas daw ang standard ko. Gosh! Coming from someone na madalas din mabansagan na mataas ang standard!  She sensed it! I didn’t take it as a compliment. My “lofty” standard doesn’t make me proud nor does it make me happy. I consider it as a defect that causes my impaired lovelife.

Maybe I’m becoming too idealistic, too choosy, well, I’ve never been into a relationship so I don’t have hints, only what I see in my friends’ relationships and on TV and on movies. Consequently, other people’s mistakes in their relationship are learned lessons for me. And, I thought, since I’ve been a real good girl all my life, I think I only deserve the best. Hihi.

 How-everrrr, my mind doesn't close to the existence of the word “reality”. And he’s my reality. Too far from my “almost” perfect guy, but I want him still. Yet, lopsidedness tramples me in the dust.

brain food

Every person should maintain at least three kinds of friendships:

1.)    Friends of your own age with whom you can talk over your problems, plans and goals with confidence.

2.)    Friends older than you to whom you can confide and be assured of wise counsel.

3.)    Friends younger than you with whom you can share your life’s experiences.

It’s not only in being helped, but in helping others, that you can find release from your inner tensions. 

The Fourth Treasure

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Todd Shimoda

Next to Haruki Murakami, Todd Shimoda is the second Japanese author I was able to read. This talks about Tina Suzuki who was born and raised in America, without knowing anything about her roots including her father. Growing up, she was never bothered about learning her home country, the culture, and her biological father. Her PhD dissertation inevitably led her to the discovery and unveiling of the past that her mother had kept from her for more than two decades. I appreciated how Shimoda elucidated Japanese culture by his explanation of the magnificent Jap calligraphy.

One Hundred Years of Solitude

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Gabriel Garcia Marquez

With the six generations of the Buendia family, it’s like reading six books bound into one! It is not an ordinary fiction that an ordinary man can write. Hey, it’s Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, so what do you expect? It talks about strange relationships within the family and of the community, about politics, magic, and a little touch of science. It is an epic tale about generations, yet it describes the solitary journey of each character, which reveals a kind surrealistic world of fantasy which flares up one's imagination to a great extent. The point that everything runs around in a circle within the family is sooo true.

My Fabulous Summer!

Tell you what? I’m the busiest person on earth this summer. Everyday, I woke up past 7 am (sadly, I’m missing my dawn prayer), then I would go downstairs to watch my siblings prepare for their summer classes, I’ll just watch them. Hehe. Then, I would join Mama and Papa on the table for breakfast and see them off to office. Most of the time I am left alone. Ah, no big a deal. Then, I would tidy up the kitchen, the dining table, wash the dishes, sweep and mop the floor. After getting soaked with household chores, I would take a bath and go to my driving lessons at 9:00 am. My driving teacher is quite strict so I have to be there on the dot. Then, I’m home again at around 10:00 am. Between 10-11:00 am, I would either read a book or watch a movie or just turn the television to watch Hana Kimi (the Taiwanese version) or watch some episodes of FRIENDS which I am so much into right now. Oh, I will tell you in my next entry about the movies I’ve watched and the books I’ve read. I promise.

Then, 11:00 am signals for preparing lunch because everybody will come home. After lunch, I will retire in my room and continue where i left off of the movies i watch, my readings or just simply singing to the tunes of my favorite songs. Sometimes, friends text me for an afternoon get-together and off I would go and meet with them just for some catch ups. We would talk about how our lives are going on, the new people we meet, the people we knew who are not present at the moment, and what we mostly do. And then we’d reminisce and laugh and just keep laughing our brains out and tell incredible stories about so many things. And that lasts until very late afternoon. If I don’t go out, I would grab the walis ting-ting and sweep/rake off the leaves that fell from our trees in our yard and pile them in a corner where my brother will burn when dried. My grandmother loves that burnt-leaves scent, just so sad she’s not living with us. I miss Ina.

Then at night after dinner, I would go to my brothers’ room and check what’s new in the internet. Most of the time, I left their room when I’m too bothered with their snoring. Imagine four men snoring heavily and simultaneously. I bet that wouldn’t be like music to your ears. Then I would quietly sneak into my sister’s room where I am an official squatter. I don’t sleep in my own room because of the scattered mess that my things from the boarding house created. I will fix them again when I am to return to the boarding house.  

Yes, that is summer of 2008 for me. So darn busy!

On the serious note, I chose this sedentary lifestyle to spend my summer. It really feels great to be back home, and just plainly staying at home. I really miss doing the household chores and making tea for Mama and Papa when they come home from work. I better seize all these opportunities of being at home because I will never know when this is gonna happen again. You see, our lives has its unexpected turns and twists. Things happen the way we never expected them to be, stuffs that never lingered into our thoughts just come our way. And as we grow older, our attention is pulled to numerous stuffs that we forgot to stay at home and feel the essence of resting into our abode. That’s why this summer, I chose to stay home.

L.J.J.

I am about to share a guy that occupies most part of my thought and of my dreams at almost all times these days. I never knew him personally, in fact I only met him once. He never kinda got my attention at first because I was too drawn to the other guy, I even loathed him before.  He is a lawyer, tall (around six feet), chinky-eyed and he has a well-formed body that will make women drool. He has an aggressive personality that he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants and he will fight for it. Two months ago, I happened to see him again after that first meeting and a memory of him flashed in my mind like a lightning. Since then, I could not remove him from my mind.

His name is Alex Hong. Remember him? In Love Story in Harvard. I really love that series that I watched it entirely before it was shown on Philippine Television. Aside from the story (which I wanna relate myself into), I am so much into Kim Rae Won that time that’s why I finished watching it and I even planned of repeating it all over again (but I think I’m lacking time now). Presently, it’s Lee Jung Jin who steals my heart. So, consider Kim Rae Won as my ex. Ha ha!

Somebody just asked me how my lovelife is going on. I told her about Lee Jung Jin and she called me “nuts”! Fine. Nuts kung nuts. A good friend told me that only a courageous man can wall off that barrier surrounding me. I don’t know, sometimes I wanna experience that kilig of your own story, not by others. I think they're different. But when an individual knocks, I slam the door shut and conclude to myself that I am not ready for anything. I am hurting people, I know. I am hurting also, so that’s fair enough. Hehe. I am hurting because I hurt them. They’re hurt because I never give them the chance to break into that wall that envelopes all that kilig emotions in me.

God, let my Alex Hong-slash-Lee Jung Jin come.

Life of Pi

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Travel
Author:	Yann Martel

This tells the story of a 16-year old boy who got stuck in the middle of Pacific Ocean with a an orangutan, hyena and Bengal tiger. Obviously with the tiger aboard, it is a major threat to their lives. I was terrified most of the time wondering which would be worse, to be eaten by a tiger or a shark? Okay, you’re not gonna make me tell you the entire story, don’t you? Piscine Morten Patel (yeah, that’s his name, shortcut Pi) had a great adventure in the middle of the ocean. Being a devoted Christian, Muslim and Hindu (yes, he practices three religions. Can you believe that? Well, I do. It’s written there.), well, he has many gods to call upon. Hehe, so that’s why he survived 227 days, I guess. Wanna know about it? Read the book. I really enjoyed reading every sentence of every turn of every page. By the way, in case you experience the same, the book’s got lotta tips for you to survive the thirst, the hunger, the threat (I mean sharks), the thunders, the heat and of course, missing your loved ones.

Tinago Falls

Going nearer the Falls per se. =) It was like playing tug-of-war against a HUGE piece of rock!

Justice for ROSKOSKI!

I feel like a wretched, good-for-naught owner upon laying my eyes on my Biochemistry book ruined, wrecked, destroyed and even lost some of its leaves. If only my piteous book could speak to me, no doubt it will utter such words:

”How irresponsible of you for allowing them to borrow me and get burned above the photocopier machine. That man handled me didn’t have any tinkle of compassion. He smashed my every leaf like I’m a worthless sinner. His filthy, black-tinged hands left my once-upon-a-time glossy pages some unforgettable stinky marks. How can you afford to see me like this?”

I can hear my book growl in misery. My answer to my book would perhaps sound like:

“Roskoski, dear, I am no irresponsible owner. I love you just the way I love Harper’s, Harrison, Guyton, Snell and the rest of you. There are just some reckless borrowers who didn’t seem to see how much I care for you. You see, you’re the most precious among them all because it is you whom they successively borrowed due to their immediate need of you. God grants victory to those who forgives.”

I don’t understand why they can’t buy their own copy when it won’t cost them thousands of bucks. Imagine, I guess I am the only student in the entire college who has Roskoski—the entire freshmen and most sophomores and juniors have it photocopied. (Most didn’t even ask for my permission). My point is, they can afford Schwartz, Nelson, Williams, Goodman and Gilman, etc., that cost them a couple of grand but why not Roskoski? It is one of the cheapest medical books.

Okay, I’m NOT stingy, just to make it clear. I have willingly and wholeheartedly let them borrow it because exams are due next week, but they should have been extra careful with it. I handed it to them new, shining and sparkling. It is returned raped, torn and unloved.

JUSTICE FOR ROSKOSKI!