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January 24, 2016
January 16, 2016
Words for 2015
Last year, I started what I want to be a tradition on this blog about picking two words that closely defined my year. I got this idea from Rica and I wish to make it as a tool to help me ponder on the year that had passed. Being a full time wife and mother who lives a routinary life away from home, my words for 2015 are not difficult to guess.
MOTHERHOOD
This is a no brainer. I spent more than half of 2015 carrying my precious little one inside my womb. With the help Allah, the Most Merciful, it was an easy pregnancy and an uncomplicated delivery. In the first eight months of the year, I reflected on how my own mother carried and raised us especially when she was pregnant with my triplet siblings. So it is true, you appreciate your mother more when you become a mother yourself. With every ache of my back, every sleepless night, the numbing of my hands, the heaviness of my tummy, I think about Mama who suffered more than I do for sure. In those days, I never failed to thank her and make her feel appreciated whenever we have a chance to chat on Facetime. Mama and I never see each other eye-to-eye in my growing up years. Yes I was always the acquiescent daughter but I harbored grievances that she never knew of. It was her personality clashing against mine adding up to generation gap, something that we failed to understand from each other. I prominently came to understand where Mama was coming from after I gave birth. She was, and still is, a working mom. Digging into the past, Mama used to rise up as early as 3:00 am to do the laundry (she was using cloth diapers then for my triplet siblings!), prepare my brother Jalal and I for school, and making sure that we don't skip breakfast. By 6:30 in the morning, she's set for office and us for school. And oh, she also breastfed us until at least we're 6 months of age! On weekends, she never failed (until now) to pay her social obligations by attending weddings, engagement parties, wakes, or simple family gatherings. This year made me conclude that my own mother is a Superwoman who I can never measure up to even half of her!
Motherhood is the best thing that happened to me and I won't get tired of saying it over and over again. It tested my patience and temperament this early including my workmanship in a team called marriage. It made me laugh, excited, worry and cry all at the same time. My daughter has opened my eyes into a whole new perspective about existence. Her presence in my life lead me to identifying the most important things that I need to focus on.
DECLUTTER
Along with the immense joy that motherhood has brought me is my quest to live a positive and happier life. This means letting go of both material and intangible things that's been cluttering my mind, my personal space and my life. We hold on to material things because we hang on to the memories they bring, that is mainly why we collect stuff. Many years ago, I started collecting journals, photos and souvenirs. I don't easily let go of my old notebooks and even old clothes until I noticed how much space they're taking up in my room. Before 2015 ended, when we came back home for a short vacation, I started to sort the things that I don't really need and gave them away. I already said goodbye to some of my journals by burning them down in 2014 before I flew to Bangkok to join my husband. Memories are important but they are more meaningful if we hold them in our minds and hearts.
This year, I also let go of some relationships that only bring hurt. It is better to burn bridges before the fire reaches you. I let go of the people who devalues me and my dreams and those who disrespects me. I learn to say no to those who are emotionally blackmailing me and finally standing strong for myself. In that way, I began to see the real people who loves me and shares with my happiness. I began to appreciate, give love back, and deal with relationships in a more mature way. Life is too short to be focusing our energy to people who only bring negative vibes in our lives.
I am so thrilled for 2016 to unfold! I know a lot of exciting things are awaiting ahead, in shaa Allah, as I watch my daughter going through exhilarating developmental milestones that bring warmth to me and my husband. I pray for a lot of things including continuous good health, protection, more acts of worship for Allah, and a love-filled hearts for my family and friends.
May Allah bless us all, happy 2016! :)
January 9, 2016
A Line A Day
I started writing on a journal after a cousin gave me a diary (named Fergie) as a gradeschool graduation present. Since then until my medschool years, I would always spare a little time before bedtime to jot down bottled feelings and thoughts. I collected 11 journals in those more than a decade of journaling. In 2012, I bought the Paulo Coelho planner/journal but internship and eventually board review caught up with me that I wasn't able to fill out even half of it. My journaling activity went downhill from there. For the past couple of years, I forgot about writing on a journal until I saw A LINE A DAY 2016 from the creations of @ricaperalejo.ph. I think it's the best journal for people like me who have lost the luxury of time writing on a whole blank page. I still yearn to write more often though but in the mean time, this will do. ☺️ Besides, it is so handy that I can just carry it around inside my bag. I'm excited to fill this one with positivity and optimism! Happy 2016! 📝
P.S. Last year, I burnt down almost all my journals except the recent one. I didn't see the need to keep and go through all the sad memories anymore. Good vibes lang dapat! 😄
December 30, 2015
A year ago, Jabar and I squeezed ourselves through this crowd to experience our first (and perhaps the only) New Year's Eve in Bangkok only to be disappointed by the very short fireworks display (didn't even last for 10 minutes!). Muntik pang magka-stampede on our way home sa dami ng (frustrated) tourists. 😂 Subhanallah. #jagbkkliving 🍃
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December 26, 2015
December 15, 2015
#AminaMariam's successful attempt at rolling over happened this morning! Yey for this new milestone! 👼🏻👏🏼
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December 10, 2015
December 5, 2015
I know there's no textbook for parenting but learning ahead doesn't hurt either. 😉 Have a chilly weekend! ☔️⛄️ #aireads #aibkkliving 📖🤓
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Long live the King! 🇹🇭👑 His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej (Rama IX) turned 88 years old today. I have a deep admiration for this leader who receives so much love and respect from his people. He has instilled discipline and patriotism in their hearts that make each and every Thai people contribute in building their nation. #respect #bkkliving 🍃
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December 3, 2015
December 2, 2015
Life's Turnaround
Three months being with our little munchkin (and without having a yaya), I can quite say all the cliche things they say about being new parents are absolutely true. It completely turned our life around, not only our daily life schedules but the entire life plan ahead of us. Marriage did change me as a person, yes, but not as much as when the little one arrived. So I'm listing down here the things that have changed so far.
1.) BREAKFAST
The hubby and I used to have our breakfast together, but nowadays, we only do so during weekends. After fajr, he'll prepare his breakfast (I used to do it for him) while I head to the bathroom to prepare my baby's bath. I will have mine after the hubby leaves for work and baby takes her morning nap (yeah, babies sleep a loooot).
2.) WATCHING TV
We used to do it with all our hearts' content. Nowadays, we turn the TV off as soon as baby sleeps. I try to sleep early as well so I won't feel groggy in the morning. Having said that, I will then proceed to...
3.) SLEEP
This is where I made the biggest adjustment!!! Everybody knows how much of a sleepyhead I am. Back when I was having hospital duties, I always find time to sneak at least an hour of sleep, or if I can't, I surely make up for all the lost sleeping hours on my day off. But being a mother??? THERE IS NO MAKING UP FOR IT!! Like I said in one Facebook post, it's like being on an endless perpetual duty without postduty status. Especially that I have no one but my husband to relieve me when I'm drop dead tired. My husband who is equally tired form work. The most difficult was the first two months, I was literally looking and feeling like a zombie! Sleep deprived and still in physical pain from childbirth, this resulted to my postpartum blues. Nevertheless, I easily got out of the dark feeling, thanks to the helpful and supportive husband who does the things when I feel so tired to even cook a decent meal. He even allows me to go on a me time once in a while (problem is, I still can't keep my mind off my baby so I always rush back home. haha!) while he is left at home alone with the baby. I am glad he's a hands on dad. He can do everything except giving her a bath for the reason that she's still very fragile daw.
4.) PEACEFUL MEAL
It is so rare nowadays to have a peaceful meal without my baby demanding to be cuddled or be fed, like yeah, she calls for an attention right before we're about to eat! What I do now that she's three months old is I let her sit on my lap while I eat. Multitasking like that. :D
5.) BEAUTY ROUTINES
Pre-baby days, I can't let a day pass without putting on moisturizers and lotion even if I only stay at home. Nowadays, I even feel lucky if I get to take a bath on time. Lol! Kaya pala sabi nila nakakalosyang maging nanay. But of course I won't allow myself to wither like that only because I became a mom. I still find time to do my regular beauty regimen and I'm religiously doing it not just for myself but for the husband as well. Chos.
6.) GOING OUT/MALLING/TRAVELING
Becoming a mother or a parent is like trading my freedom for this super cute munchkin sitting on my lap right now while I type. Haha! Gone were the days when dating was a regular habit and when we would spontaneously hop on a bus off to somewhere. Nowadays, even going to the nearby mall must be planned ahead of time. Everything has changed. I still dream of traveling to many places with our baby, but perhaps, when she's older and less demanding.
7.) READING BOOKS OR CHECKING SOCIAL MEDIA
I used to finish a book in two, maximum of three days depending on the plot and the book's thickness. Now, finishing it in a week is already a victory for me. Even in using social media, my friends have noticed how my posts became lesser and lesser by the day. Well, aside from the "less social media, happier life" mantra I want to adapt, it's really the lack of time. Now that my daughter is very interactive, I'd rather play with her than check on what's going on with other people's lives.
8.) RESIDENCY PLANS
If I were single, I wouldn't mind where I am going to apply for residency and the amount of time and work it demands. I can live in the hospital the whole duration of training and sacrifice my social life. I am secretly wishing to apply at SPMC in Davao City or NMMC in Cagayan de Oro City, but with my husband's work which is based in Manila, I have no other choice but to apply within the vicinity that is also near our home. I also have to consider the toxicity of the hospital where I would apply because I want to have a life-work balance. I absolutely do not want to miss the important milestones that my daughter is achieving as she grows up. My husband was long prepped as to how it is being a resident and I am lucky that he's been assuring me that I got his back.
9.) HUBBY'S NEXT POST
It is yet too early to plan for this, but hubby has many considerations for his next posting. It should be where I can practice my profession and most importantly, a country that can provide a quality education for our child/-ren. If not for us, I'm sure he would be adventurous and wouldn't mind wherever part of the world he gets assigned like when he was first posted in Nigeria. Lol!
Sometimes late in the night, the husband and I would contemplate a life without our daughter. We can picture a very boring and sad life repeating our routines day after day after day :( While my daughter is peacefully sleeping, I would stand or sit beside her like a creep and utter a heartfelt gratitude to Allah for the biggest blessing He has given us this year. I was ready to give up everything just to have her and I did temporarily sacrificed my profession, hence, she is with us now. Alhamdulillah.
I need to pinch myself sometimes to make sure that I am not dreaming. Everything is perfect. Right now.
November 26, 2015
My BFF, my future travel and food buddy, in shaa Allah. 👼🏻 #thelittleone #AminaMariam 😊
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November 24, 2015
November 21, 2015
What are you peeking at, missy? Hey, you're 3 months old today! 🤗 #AminaMariam #thelittleone 🌷 #screwthatfilter
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November 19, 2015
This is where we draw the line between confidence and arrogance. #notetoself 💃🏻
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November 16, 2015
This emoticon is so powerful. No words needed. #icanteven
I am literally restraining myself from typing this emoticon on the comment section of some FB posts I'm reading right now. Like pffft. Some people just doesn't have the tiniest grip on what LOGIC means.
My fault. Why am I on Facebook again?
November 10, 2015
Big Three Oh!
Spare me from those who dread getting old because I am one of those who celebrate the inevitable increase in age. My heart is swelling with gratitude as I reach my big 3-0 as I often associate age with accomplishments. I live my life based on a timeline I set. There may be adjustments based on Divine Intervention which are mostly beautiful surprises thrown along the way but, alhamdulillah, I have targeted most of the goals I set for myself. The most important thing I have accomplished before I turn 30 is having a child. It is the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me in my 30 years of existence! I couldn't be more grateful!
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| Photo taken last February at a temple in Chinatown in time for the Chinese New Year. Behind me is a portrait of the longest reigning and the richest monarch in the world, King Bumhibol Adulyadej (Rama IX). I was 3 months pregnant in this photo. |
I have transitioned a lot this year. Aside from being a full time wife, I am now a full time mom (until we return to the Philippines and I go into residency). I have learned to value substantial relationships with the people who really mattered to me such as my parents, siblings and friends who have stood beside me through thick and thin, I have learned to let go of those who doesn't value me back as a person. We live in a temporary world, whatever we have now will vanish into thin air someday, so I have also learned to live in the present and cherish each second I spend with my love ones.
At this age, all I want is continuous good health for my parents, siblings and nephew, husband, daughter and for myself. I pray for an increase in my imaan (faith) and knowledge; and to be able to fulfill what is expected of me as a Muslim, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and as a friend. I pray to be able to hone my craft as a physician and touch more lives. I pray to have a more grateful, forgiving, patient and joyous heart.
I plan but Allah is the Best Planner.
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