Abe's Letter

My heart is bleeding as I read  I am Malala, a biography of the youngest Nobel-prize laureate Malala Yousafzai. She is a Pakistani young activist who fought for women's education in her region and was shot by Taliban in the face. She survived the attack which caught the attention of the international media and was given a chance to be heard. It breaks my heart how some fundamentalists could think so backwardly and act so outrageously in the name of a religion that has nothing to do with what they claim to stand for. They oppress women by ripping away their basic rights including education. The women in Malala's region is not far from the story of Laila and Mariam in the fictional (but based on facts) novel of Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns. Sadly, these fundamentalists on Malala's side of the earth blemish the beautiful name of Islam. Their closed and narrow way of interpreting Islam is what the rest of the world sees. 

Knowing about the status of women in those regions (Pakistan, Afghanistan and some Arab countries) makes me grateful that I was born and raised in a place where I am free to dream and choose who I want to be the way I want it. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim." (Al-Tirmidhi). He didn't say only men can seek knowledge. As far as I know, Islam is the most gender-sensitive religion and it never teaches, neither in the Holy Qur'an or in the Hadith, the oppression of women. In fact, men are commanded to treat women fairly and lovingly. 

Anyway, without steering away further from the title of this entry, some lines from Abraham Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher were mentioned in the book. I searched for it and here it goes: 

This afternoon at a quite corner with my Amina love. 

“My son starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while and I wish you would treat him gently. It is an adventure that might take him across continents. All adventures that probably include wars, tragedy and sorrow. To live this life will require faith, love and courage.

So dear Teacher, will you please take him by his hand and teach him things he will have to know, teaching him – but gently, if you can, Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. He will have to know that all men are not just, that all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero, that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader.

Teach him if you can that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar found. In school, teacher, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when he does win.

Teach him to be gentle with people, tough with tough people. Steer him away from envy if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Teach him if you can – how to laugh when he is sad, teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success. Teach him to scoff at cynics.

Teach him if you can the wonders of books, but also give time to ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tell him they are wrong.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is doing it. Teach him to listen to every one, but teach him also to filter all that he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him to sell his talents and brains to the highest bidder but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patient to be brave. Teach him to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind, in God.

This is the order, teacher but see what best you can do. He is such a nice little boy and he is my son.”

It is a beautiful letter full of wisdom. I am miles away yet from parenting issues that involve instilling values, discipline and morality, but I take this letter as a prayer where God is the Teacher who provides us with knowledge that can help us through in this worldly life. 

Every parent wants the best for their children; however, we do not want exaggerations that might throw them to self-destruction. We want to strike a balance. Personally, I want to raise my daughter (and her future siblings) the way I was raised. But I need to adapt to their generation as well. Who knows what kind of technology and environment they have fifteen to twenty years from now? Well, we can only take things slowly, gracefully, and with a lot of prayers. :)