Protons

              When everything seems perfect in my life, I plummeted into the darkest pit called Negativity. I became spiteful, irritable and reproachful. I became a monster I never figured out I would be in my dire attempt to keep everything around me in order. I had a constant feeling of disappointment, frustrations and hopelessness. I was full of doubts and mistrust. It certainly had a tremendous effect on my relationship with my loved ones. They are the ones who suffered for my twisted negative thinking. Until I came across a book called The Secret. It holds the greatest secret of all prominent men in history---POSITIVITY. It talks about the power of positive thinking and how you can convert your negative thoughts into positive ones. Life is very simple, we should always keep in mind that "what we give, we receive". Human beings are likened to transmission towers of powerful energy manifested by our thoughts and feelings. 

(Googled photo)

                Like a powerful transmission tower, what we give out into the Universe through our thoughts and feelings about the different aspects of our lives -- relationships, health, dreams, and finances--- will bounce back to us in equal or even more intensified. If we practice positivity in our daily lives, we will exercise patience, compassion and gratitude. We will have an open heart and mind, we feel like our life works harmoniously with the Universe. Everything flows smoothly, even if we are faced with difficult obstacles, we can easily get off the hook and proceed spontaneously as we wish it to be. The main ingredient of this book, the superstar of them all is gratitude. Sometimes, when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, the rest of our day is ruined. That is because we didn't find around us anything to be grateful for, we were not being grateful for the life given to us by Him.

                   I know this would be no easy feat but I am trying to live the proton life every single day. The most amazing thing about it is that I have understood the very essence why we, Muslims, are required to pray five times a day. We do not pray to merely ask but we pray in order to be grateful, to speak the two powerful words "Thank You", at least five times a day to nonetheless but the Creator. We thank Him for every single minute miracles in our lives, from the air we breathe, our circulating blood, our family and friends and every single source of happiness and joy in this world. 

                    I encourage you to look around you and find something to be grateful for. Also, when you pray, do not ask for anything without expressing your gratitude first. Feel it and you will receive, in shaa Allah. Join me in sprinkling protons in this world! Let's start by sharing a HUGE smile to the people we meet and everyone around us. Smile, it's sadaqah (charity). :)

El Nido, Palawan. December 2013

This is the problem with staying up all night, we inevitably get consumed by our senti mood. 

I miss my man. 

No amount of technology can replace physical presence. I wonder if hologram can? Lol.

Count this as one of those mundane, nonsense posts.

There are plenty of things going around I can write about---Islamic awareness, the World Hijab Day, my stand on the GPH-MILF agreement, the anticipated implementation of the Bangsamoro Government, the lack of rules and regulation in Marawi City (more like anarchy), the environmental hazards brought about by the tons of tarpaulins around Marawi and entire Lanao del Sur, the enthronement of the Royals of Lanao del Sur and it's lack of impact on me and on the society as a whole, the Vhong Navarro mauling and extortion incident, the Napoleses and their crimes, the wild rage on the social media, the adversities faced by the Doctors to the Barrios, my own apprehensions, but I don't wanna think about the world right now. It's too heavy for me to handle. 

I am on my way to learning how to be an adult, how to think and act maturely, how to hold off my emotions once in a while and how to control my tears when I'm enraged.

I am learning. And he taught me all that. :)

The Arrival

We normally see a hanging signboard outside the doctor's clinic informing us that the "Doctor is IN" or if we are unfortunate enough, the "Doctor is OUT". But in my workplace where I am the Rural Health Physician, you don't see those signboards primarily because I don't have a decent office. Well, I SHOULD HAVE a Rural Health Center that constituents of other municipalities normally enjoy. So instead of seeing "Doctor is IN", you'd hear "The doctor has arrived!" and people would come swarming around us like bees. That happens on almost every duty day at Tubaran, Lanao del Sur as a Doctor to the Barrio.

                                 

I've been re-deployed for almost three months now, and apparently, according to the local residents, I'm the only healthworker assigned in the municipality who comes regularly.  The top reasons are:

1. Lack of a Rural Health Center 

    This lack of a major health facility creates a domino effect by hindering ALL health services which are supposed to be provided to the constituents as part of their natural human rights. There was once a functional RHU, according to folktown's tale, but was crushed down to rubbles more than a decade ago by the supporters of a political candidate who lost the election race to the present rulers. More than a decade later, the local chief executive who was sitting for more than three terms in the office, finally thought of building an RHU (as well as a municipal hall!). As of speaking time, our RHU is on it's way to the final touch. 

2. Lack of health workers.

    No health workers have been regularly going in the area for countless years already. The constituents would have the luxury to be visited by doctors only during medical missions, at least once or twice a year if they get lucky. They seek medical consult at the nearby municipality of Binidayan which they will have to hike for at least an hour because of the unpaved, dusty and bumpy road. No health worker coming from the IPHO (Integrated Provincial Health Office) is willing to be assigned in this place, only I and one contractual midwife dared. I always get raised eyebrows and shock on their faces whenever I mentioned the place where I am currently assigned. I don't know why but I'm fine with Tubaran, I like the heartwarming gestures shown by the people as well as the local officials. I personally feel welcome in the area. :) 

For the remaining few months of my contract as Doctor to the Barrio, I intend to maximize my time in the name of health care service delivery. I hope and pray that the local government speeds up the building of the RHU so we can settle where we should be settling. Presently, we hold our clinic right outside the Mayor's office in his own home. We feel at home din. Haha. 

People sometimes ask why I went into the DTTB program and endure of difficulty of going into the geographically isolated areas and (somehow) stagnating my medical knowledge when I can go into residency to be molded into the "ideal physician" everyone aspires to be. Serving the rural area has taught me to become a better person, my personality took a giant leap from the pushover medical clerk/intern to the one who makes sure that everyone is busy at their assigned tasks aka the "leader", the "head of the unit". I am still learning to dance with politics as it is already tied up tightly with my job. I failed at my first area of assignment, but I am learning here and I hope I get the rhythm of the dance. 

Palawanized!!! :)

Guess who's back home?

Taa daaaaa..

Yes, hubby was home shortly due to a mandatory 2-week medical check-up and lucky him, he got another 2-week extended vacation! Wohoo!! Being separated for eight months mean spending maximum quality time with each other. Maximum quality time. Lol!

As wanderlusts that we both are (the same statement I used in the blogpost about our Baguio and Davao trip), our feet brought us to the enchanting Palawan!! 

We didn't have a pre-planned trip except for the Underground River Tour which I had booked few days before we fly to Palawan. As soon as we landed, we rode a tricycle from the airport to downtown Puerto Princesa to look for a cheaper and cozy hotel where we can stay for the night. Cheap YET cozy, because we're choosy. Lol! In a travel where you'd be outdoors the whole time, there's no need to book at some something-star hotel, it's just a waste of money. 

As soon as we arrived at the hotel around 5:30 pm, we rode a tricycle and walked around the city to fill in our stomach. Jabar is all about looking for the authentic taste in the places where we go. That's one of the things I love about traveling with him, it makes me feel like some travel host who discovers new stuff in the place where only locals go. Harhar!! So instead of going into the chain of popular franchise restaurants, we looked for the authentic Palawan roasted chicken with 100% chicken liver sauce. (Too bad the photos are stored in his phone.) The chicken absorbed the marinade so well that the taste goes right into the bones. It's perfectly roasted and when dipped into the chicken liver sauce, it is certainly the best roasted chicken I have ever tasted!!! Literally, sarap to the bones!!! 

Our adventure started the following day for our Underground River Tour located at Sabang, Palawan; approximately 2 hours van ride away from Puerto Princesa City. On our way to Sabang, we passed by the Karst Mountain Elephant Cave which was conquered by contestants of the TV show The Amazing Race (Philippines and Ukraine). It's a mountain made of limestones. As we travel further, Jab and I noticed that most of the mountains in Palawan are actually made of limestones and kudos to their local government, most are preserved and protected from mining activities. 

Twenty minutes of boatride from the shores of Sabang, we finally arrived at THIS!! Look how beautiful the river is, it is really enchanting! And inside the cavemouth is a 22-km stretch of amazing rock formations, aka stalactites and stalagmites. Apparently, out of the 22-km, only 8.5 km has been discovered and navigated and only 1.5 km is open for tourists like us. So what we've seen is just the tip of an iceberg. 

We were with Filipino families who were vacationing from Australia and they were with their uber-cute kids with Aussie accent!!! Oh, music to my ears. Lol! Look at their Dad photobombing us. 

Cavemouth. The beginning of wonderful things to see.

Palawan is indeed rich with nature's beauty. It is amazing that we need not go to other countries and spend hefty amounts to experience what is already in our country. The beauty is out there waiting to be explored. :) 

On our second day, we immersed in the magnificient islands and lagoons of El Nido. It's a six-hour long (bumpy) ride from Puerto Princesa. Foreigners outnumbered the locals, I think. There were a lot of them, Caucasians and Asians alike, walking around and bathing under the scorching heat of the sun. Jab and I had fun most here in El Nido where the water was crystal clear and the sand was so white and fine. We hopped from one island and lagoon to another. The best was the small lagoon where we had to swim through a small orifice to get inside the stunning lagoon. No exaggeration but it felt like swimming in paradise!! 

Look at that giddy smile!!

Jab and I both agreed that Palawan is by the far the best place we've been together. It's the place where people looking for adventure and at the same time wanting to experience serenity with Mother Earth must come. 

Jab was home shortly but IT WAS A TIME PERFECTLY SPENT. :) Ten months left before my contract with DOH ends and, soon, we'll be together without rushing for time. 

Bismillah. 

P.S.

I apologize for the center-formatted style of this entry. I am using my phone and I have problem locating the formatting bar. Ugh. 

Sonnet XVII

I remember reciting the whole sonnet with utmost feeling while taking a video of myself imagining that the man I am going to marry listens to every word. That was roughly two months before we met.  

I still carry this poem in my heart despite the fact that the man I married is not interested in poetry. Oh. 

Happy New Year!!!

It was indeed a HAPPY new year because of you!! I am so glad you are home even just shortly. Looking forward to countless years with you. :) 

Rich Or Poor ? Which One Are You?

I only get to read this book one year after I purchased it. I lost sight of it after my brother borrowed it AND benefited from it. Now's my turn. Aha!

It basically talked about HOW TO GET RICH. Interesting? Haha! Mind you, it doesn't come easy. OF COURSE. The author who is a multi-millionaire business mogul described his educated dad (the poor one) and the one who did not finish schooling (he called the rich dad) and their view on money and their difference in terms of financial literacy. He offered a solution on how to avoid a trap in life (where most of us are caught and can't seem to get out of it) called Rat Race. It is the pattern of getting up, working and paying bills. Especially among us government employees, you work hard and then the government cut their share from your salary through taxes before you even receive it, and then pay your bills, and the cycle goes on until your retirement. The government offer us promotion and a consequent salary raise and then we also increase our spending. According to him, many people do not realize that in life, IT'S NOT HOW MUCH MONEY WE MAKE BUT HOW MUCH MONEY WE KEEP. He also emphasized the importance of FINANCIAL LITERACY, because money without financial intelligence is money soon gone. He also put a difference on how the poor and the rich people spend their money. Poor and the middle-class buy luxury first while rich people buy luxury last. Ahem. Ring any bell? Haha! He also cited a lot of success and failure stories of rich people. 

After learning about the Rat Race, I know now why my family is not rich. First, because my parents are both government employees and the government cut taxes more than we can actually spend. And second, we don't have a business or any investment. We don't have investment because we barely have money left at the end of the month to invest. Or perhaps, my parents are financially illiterate. That's the blunt truth. Mr. Kiyosaki talked about highly educated people who struggle financially because of financial illiteracy. My parents and many people I know who works for the government are no different. 

Hence, for 2014, it is on my checklist to be financially literate and to "mind my own business". 

Any business idea? :) 

Ninth on Ninth

 

Two hours early for my flight considering that the person I will meet at the airport will arrive later in the afternoon pa. Hahaha!! Oh. The scene later that I have in my head reminds me of Love Actually. *grins* 

Bismillahi mashaa Allah. :) 

P.S. 

Blogging at the airport using my iPod. First time. 

Also, it's our ninth monthsary today!!! Ninth on ninth, it is. :) 

Howdy, Pablo survivors?

Our recent medical mission to Tolosa, Leyte wasn't the first time I laid my eyes on the aftermath of nature's wrath. I have seen it exactly a year ago in Cateel, Davao Oriental. I remember having a vivid imagination of how the end of the world would look like, but I pray to be spared from the destruction, my friends and family and down to the 10th generation of my future children. Subhanallah. Only a Great Force can do something like this in a matter of minutes to hours. 

Coconut trees were uprooted and were scattered like matchsticks. :'( 

I wonder how the super typhoon Pablo survivors coped a year since the massive destruction. the great thing about us, Filipinos, is the strength and resilience that we show to the world. We easily move on. Perhaps, God is just testing our character and how much we can endure. But oh, Ya Allah, no more calamities please. I don't wanna see something like this again. :( 

Haiyan/Yolanda

I was given an opportunity to see what looks like a post-apocalyptic scene at Tolosa, Leyte. The ARMM health contingent was the first to arrive in the area. We have seen the sadness in their eyes and heard the mourning in their voices. It was heartbreaking beyond words.

Bangon, Pilipinas. 

The Zambo Mission

What happened in Zamboanga City few months ago stirred the whole nation. Peace and order instability has a domino effect on the society, economy, and ultimately, health status of the people. Hence, when the crisis broke out in Zambo, the IPHO-Lanao del Sur set out for a Humanitarian Mission under the mandate of the DOH-ARMM. Zamboanga City does not belong to the jurisdiction of the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) but it is undeniable that most of the affected are natives of the island provinces of Basilan, Sulu and Tawi-Tawi which belong to the ARMM provinces. Besides, we need not nit-pick to whom we should offer our help. 

After almost ten (10) hours of land travel, we arrived at Zamboanga City at around 6:00 pm. We had a short briefing with our bosses from the IPHO and with the DOH-ARMM and DSWD-ARMM. 

Some of the stuff we brought were lugged by no other than our big boss. 

When we arrived, some of the establishments in the city were already opened. We didn't feel the tension in the air just yet. Everything seemed normal. 

Our team was greeted by ARMM Regional Governor Mujiv Hataman on the first day before we set out to the barangays to do the works. 

We were treated to this tausug specialty called Satti. It's like the Javanese satay minus the peanut sauce. I am not familiar with the satti sauce. It was also served with cubes of rice.  

And then the mission began. 

This ambulance was our makeshift mobile pharmacy, so we can easily pack-up and ran if anything untowards happen. 

At Brgy. Talon-Talon. One of the barangays afflicted with the crisis. It certainly felt like a ghost town upon entering the vicinity. Most houses were locked, small sari-sari stores were closed and you barely see people on the streets. 

Our resident photog. Rocaya. Visit her at www.rocayaaa.tumblr.com because we're friends. Haha! 

While we were doing medical consultations, a smoke hovered above us. It was a signal that a house nearby was being allegedly burnt down by the rebels. We also heard loud exchange of gunshots which obviously signaled us to pack up and leave. Nevertheless, we were able to maximize our services by going from other five barangays in the outskirts of the city where evacuees sought shelter.

Our good friend, Racquel, spent her birthday during the mission. What a great way of spending an important milestone of your life in the name of service. Great job, Racqs! :D 

Doctors at your service. :)

Our experience was a mixture of excitement, fear, adrenaline rush and the strong drive to offer health services. With what was being shown on TV, it was understandable that our parents and loved ones were hesitant in allowing us to go to Zamboanga. But when unconditional service is in your blood, you are always ready to take a leap where you are needed. 

Brush Spa

Guess who just got pampered?!!

Haha! I was reading my good friend Jehan's blog  when I found out about her kikay regimen. I never had an entry about my kikay stuff because they're NOT worth blogging!! Haha! For two years now, I've been using affordable Korean products, particularly the ones from The Faceshop after my former co-intern Patricia introduced them to me.  I also want stuff from Skin Food but they're so pricey!!! Haha! Poorita me. 

This afternoon, while reading Jeh's blog, I suddenly thought of cleaning my makeup brushes but I don't know how to do it without ruining their fragile strands. So I sought help from HERE.  

According to Lauren Conrad, here’s the right way to deep clean your makeup brushes…

You will need:
• A shallow bowl
• Gentle clarifying shampoo or baby shampoo
• Your sink
• A lint free cloth

Instructions:

1. Begin by running your brushes under lukewarm water, rinsing out all of the residual makeup. Try to focus on the actual bristles while avoiding the part of the brush where handle meets the head, as this can loosen the glue over time
2. Fill a bowl with lukewarm water and a squirt of shampoo, and gently swirl your brush tip in the water. If you need to, you can also swirl the brush in the palm of your hand to work up a lather.
3. Rinse the brush tip under running water once again. Repeat steps two and three until the water runs clear from the brush,
4. Use a cloth to wipe your brush clean, reshaping the bristles as you go.
5. Lay your brushes flat on a cloth to dry.

And there you have it! Your makeup brushes will be as clean a whistle. It’s also worth mentioning that there are specially formulated brush shampoos on the market. A gentle clarifying or baby shampoo will do the trick just fine though.

I just did what the instructions said and voila!! my brushes were as fresh as a lady out of the shower and they smelled like my hair. Haha! 

Get that sickly bone working, my love! C'mon!

Knowing that your better-half is down with a potentially fatal disease and you cannot do anything to alleviate his discomfort is such a downer. Really. This long-distance relationship is taking its toll on both of us. If I could only turn back the hands of time, I shouldn't have applied for the First Gentleman Foundation to get that scholarship so I won't get into the Doctors to the Barrios Program so I can take care of my love. Oh Regrets, get off my thoughts.

Ever since I got married and having acquainted to the obligations of a wife under the Islamic law, my life plans were shaken. Instead of pursuing residency right after the DTTB Program, I have decided to join my husband in his Post so we can start a family and stay there until he gets recalled back in 2016 . Diplomats live a rather flexible life and being married to one means I need to adjust my selfish life priorities and go with the pliability. A two-year long distance relationship is too much to take. We're married for six months now but two-thirds of the whole time was spent on BBM (blackberry messenger) and Wechat. Well, thanks to the power of technology for keeping us in touch every single day despite the distance and the difference in time. However, physical presence is still A MUST for every married couple. No amount of BBM-ing or Wechat-ing can be compared to physical presence. If we are physically together, we can just sit and sip our coffee in silence, do our things individually but still feeling a sense of tranquility. We need to be together to fulfill our obligations to one another. That's the very essence of our marriage---to be together through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. And sadly, I breached it. Being far away from him especially now that he's sick gradually kills me. I take commitments seriously so when I committed myself to the DTTB Program, I stick to it even though I thought of leaving it a hundred times to fly to Nigeria. It appears to him as if I chose my work over him, but the truth is, I cannot leave a commitment just like that. The same feeling of loyalty and faithfulness I have for him. I tell him over and over again that immediately after the DTTB Program, I am all his. 100% his. InshaaAllah. 

God knows how much I terribly miss Jabar. This post can get mushy but he's the answer to my prayers.  He's the perfect person to tone down the hidden harshness of my character and at the same time he brings out the best in me. We share the same values but with contrasting educational background (he's a CPA and I'm a physician), our minds are wired differently. I love that I learn a lot from him, especially on the business side which I totally lack knowledge of, in the same way that he learns a lot from me. I miss how he delivers his tambay jokes which cracks me up almost instantly. I don't know if its just the hormones during the first phase of marriage but Jab never bored me out. I can talk to him all day and night without a dull moment. Or am I just like that to everybody? Haha! 

Breakfast at Grand Men Seng Hotel, Davao City. March 2013.

Oh c'mon Love, stretch your spine and shove those malaria parasites away!!!! Get here ASAP so I can boast my newly-learned cooking skills and we can do endless foodtrips!!!

Malaria Strikes!

Malaria is a parasitic infection that is endemic in tropical countries including Nigeria, where my husband Jabar works. He was having chills two days ago and low-grade fever accompanied by body malaise. I was already contemplating on malaria but I was in denial initially. This is his second bout of infection so he must have known the symptoms. He was telling me it could be malaria, I told him to observe it for 24 hours and have supportive treatment first. Forty eight hours later, his symptoms didn't relent so he took blood smearing test for malaria. His result is (+2). Subhanallah! Confirmed. 

Malaria is a potentially life-threatening disease caused by infection with Plasmodium protozoa transmitted by an infective female Anopheles mosquito. It has a high mortality rate if untreated but has an excellent prognosis if diagnosed early and treated appropriately. Apparently, uncomplicated cases of malaria in Nigeria does not call for immediate hospital admission. In fact, Jabar bought the meds (artemether/lumefantrin or Coartem) over-the-counter.

How do we prevent malaria? I've been constantly reminding Jabar to always put on Off lotion and use mosquito nets when he sleeps. But he can be stubborn sometimes, even feeling invincible. The only way to prevent is by wearing protective clothings, using insect repellent lotions and sprays and using bed nettings soaked in insecticides (yes, they are commercially available). Drug prophylaxis can be taken by travelers to places with high malarial endemicity. Presently, no vaccine has been approved to prevent malaria but scientific studies on the vaccine is already on its way. 

Jabar finished his first day of treatment (treatment lasts for 3 days with a total of 24 tablet intakes) and is experiencing the worst side effects---headache, dizziness and loss of appetite. And I feel so bad that I'm not even there to see over and take care of him. If I could have the power of teleportation, I would do so in an instant. :( Right now, I can only offer my prayers and making sure that he's taking his meds on time. 

Please get well soon, my love. 

The Complainant

This is perhaps normal for people who extended their adolescent stage and woke up one day, forced to act like an adult, and thrown into the world of the unknown. It wasn't normal for me to complain for the things happening in my everyday life, I grew up to accept all the tiny bits thrown my way. And then all of a sudden, boom! the opacity of life disappeared and I got to see through it and saw the crippled form in everything. Here are the list of things I complain about almost EVERY SINGLE DAY.

1. My brothers' messy stuff thrown all over the house.

I hate it when upon arriving at home, they'd leave their bags at the sala, used (and smelly) socks on the floor, and leaving their shoes wherever they feel like taking it off. Why the hell can't they just bring their stuff inside their rooms because I seriously do not care if their rooms looks like a storm had came to pass. Just please spare the sala. 

2. The unruly pedicab drivers in Marawi City.

Oh, Marawi City. I love my homeland, no doubt, that's why I struggled and did my best to get pulled out from Maguindanao and transfer my area of assignment here in Lanao del Sur to be able to enjoy the cool weather and the company of my family. BUT, everyday I am bombarded with unpleasant sights and experiences making Marawi a loathsome place to live in. For one, the unruly, choosy and abusive pedicab drivers. Our main means of public transpo here are pedicabs and jeepneys. They know nothing of road rules and etiquette. Oh, almost everybody here including jeepney drivers and even owners of private cars. Pedicabs are like parasites that infested the entire city (the cityhood of this place must be revoked) and even creeping into my beloved MSU. There are NO traffic lights and NO policemen to regulate the flow of the traffic. Sometimes, you can see policemen standing under the shade, watching the cars go by or try to regulate the traffic by waving their uncoordinated hands causing more knotting of the traffic. 

3. No proper disposal and collecting of garbage in Marawi City.

 Wherever you go, it is impossible not to notice mountain of stinky garbage and even spewed on the roads catching attention. I sometimes wonder where are the people that we have voted for public office. Where are those who promised to give their public service? Why are they not doing something about this? And why are the people so irresponsible to be just throwing their wastes wherever they want to? No shame, at all?  

In my own home, my father taught us since we were kids to separate our trash into biodegradable and non-biodegradable (true!!!). The biodegradables are thrown into a pit at our backyard and the non-bios are either recycled, burnt or sold to junk buyer passerbys.  

Our beloved public servants, how do you feel when you go out of your house and greeted by the stench of trash at the corner of your street? Do you just look and drive past it? No concern at all? 

4.  About my job as a Doctor to the Barrio in ARMM. 

I can probably write a whole novel about my job but let me start on how the DOH central office made us contractuals instead of having plantilla items which was enjoyed by senior DTTBs. Being on a contractual status bereft us of the benefits that we deserve including hazard pay in which we are fully entitled of. Our workload has no difference with that of our seniors, the only difference is that we are being treated unjustly by the agency which is supposed to take care of us considering that we are being fed to the lions in the geographically isolated areas in the country. 

Being a DTTB is worse due to the mandatory political ties in implementation of  the health programs but it is worst in ARMM. I am sorry to say this and to frustrate each and everyone who, like me, was very hopeful in trying to initiate change in the community. It appeared to me how powerful politics is, not just in the political arena per se, but in public agencies as well. Life in the Philippines revolves around dirty politics but worst in ARMM.

Almost a year later, being a doctor to the barrio is far from the fulfilling job I expect it to be. I was pulled out from my area in Maguindanao due to the erratic peace and order situation (political war) and I was subtly ousted by the local chief executive himself (aka Mayor) after defending my staff on our absence at the RHU during the heat of the midterm election period where firefight encounters occur almost everyday. Truth be told, nobody wants to risk his life for a nonsense reason (read: political greed). That untoward incident deserves a whole entry. Nevertheless, I got transferred to Lanao del Sur (Alhamdulillah!) in the comfort of home and of my family. I am still waiting for my next deployment. 

One year left for DTTB and I can plan my life again with my love. :)

               

Look at you, poor thingy. 

How you've gathered inch-thick dust and  cobwebs. 

I haved missed you so dearly. 

Love,

Aziza

Doctor-ing to the Barrios

Two years after being a First Gentleman Foundation Inc. (FGFI) scholar under the Doktor Para Sa Bayan Program and eventually earning our license as physicians, it's payback time. As beneficiaries to the scholarship, we are supposed to render service as community doctors through the Doctors To The Barrios (DTTB) Program of the Department of Health. Together with the Pinoy MD Scholars, we were deployed in the doctorless municipalities all over the country, from Batanes down to Tawi-Tawi, to fill in the lack of health specialists in geographically isolated and disadvantaged areas (GIDA). Entering the program is like hitting THREE birds with one stone. For one, I need not confuse myself after boards if I have to directly go on to residency or do some moonliting jobs. I already have a job at hand waiting for me with a relatively good compensation. Second, alongside with being a DTTB is a Master's Degree program at the Development Academy of the Philippines (DAP). Our Master in Public Management Major in Health Systems and Development (MPM-HSD) aims to prepare and mold us into the role of a health leader that we are in our community. Our classes at DAP occurs every six months for two straight weeks until the end of the DTTB program when we are expected to have an Action Plan and Project (APP) in lieu of the thesis required for a masteral degree in other institutions. Third, during the whole deployment time, I get to hold my own schedule leaving me a lot of time to spend at home, to be with my family and friends, and do the things I love. Had I went on to residency, I don't think I will consider getting married yet due to the incredibly tight schedule demanded by the training program. DTTB time is more like me-time for two whole years before proceeding to another phase of my career which is the residency training. 

October 2012. First CME (Continuing Medical Education) at DAP before deployment. A photo of the Habagats (DTTB Batch 30. Us.) with Former DOH Secretary Dr. Alberto Romualdez and the academic officials of DAP. 

With DOH Secretary Dr. Enrique Ona visiting the new members of his workforce. Driven by our ambitions, we were still full of idealism and vigor. We were so excited to be in the field, to impact changes, to educate, inspire and motivate people. We were yet to experience what is really happening down in the field. 

After several deliberations with a huge twist of fate, I was assigned to the far-flung municipality of Talitay, Maguindanao.  It seemed to me like I got into an another dimension with people who share the same religion but with a different culture and language. Everything turned out to be what I wasn't expecting. Being a DTTB in ARMM with a non-devolved health system is far from what was being taught to us at DAP. I cannot find a single hole to fit in what I had studied in the master's class.

With my PHN, Ma'am Rizza who accompanied me to Hon. Mayor Sabal's residence during the signing of my Memorandum of Agreement with the LGU. Yes, ako pa ang naglakad ng MOA ko. Something that should have been done and prepared for us by the DOH-ARMM or the IPHO at least. Well, this is how we roll here in ARMM. And yes, if you have something to lobby for to the local chief executive, don't go to the municipal hall. He's not there. He's at the comfort of his home. 

January 7, 2013. First day at work. What I have highly appreciated being a DTTB though is the staff. They are a whole bunch of dedicated workers who, despite the meager salary and being taken for granted by the local government, they still do justice to their work. The RHU-Talitay now has one doctor, one public health nurse, three regular midwives, one RN Heals, two RHMPP and another two MECA (Midwife in Every Community in ARMM). We have also have Barangay Health Workers (BHWs) who work voluntarily without any allowance from the LGU. 

Talitay is a 6th class municipality consisting of 9 barangays with a population of approximately 12,000. The main source of livelihood is farming and fishing. Poverty, similar to other ARMM municipalities, is a normal thing here. As far as I am concerned, I don't see how the local government or even the regional government is helping the people improve their livelihood. Parang kinalimutan na sila ng mundo. Seriously. 

Houses are made of light-weight materials. You don't see a decent house here. Bahay lang ni mayor. I don't think this only happens in Talitay. I've been to several municipalities in ARMM and I have seen and observed the same thing. 

This is our RHU, this is where I work. Most days of the week I only stay here. I don't do frequent barangay visits due to the unstable peace and order in the area. My staff are always on the look out for my safety. FYI, this was a former rebel den (I guess they still exist here) so a gunshot or two isn't surprising at all. Or even seeing a half-naked man with a rifle gun hanging on his shoulder. 

In spite of being geographically isolated, we have a decent Rural Health Unit with a room for the MHO. That's me. :)

This is what we traverse everyday----unconcreted, bumpy and muddy road to Talitay. Um, I wonder where do the IRA goes? Isn't this a major project supposedly?

After six months of being here, I feel like I have been drained despite having done none at all except seeing patients at the RHU everyday. It's difficult to implement health programs in an area with an erratic peace and order, highly politicized, unsupportive local government and with people who are passive and contented merely by selling their coconut produce for a few cents. These are people who are being chased down by midwives and nurses to get their children vaccinated or to have their sick family members be seen by a doctor at the RHU. With mental passiveness comes poor-health seeking behavior. That is difficult to address but as health workers, we keep on giving them health education in our hope that maybe someday, their attitude towards their health will change. 

After six months, I honestly have the urge to give up. I would either proceed to residency or fly to Nigeria to be with my husband. I seriously do not know yet. My life is at suspension at this very moment. Plus, there is a high probability that I will get transferred in Lanao del Sur (yay for that!! close to home!!) so I will be back to square one. 

And oh, I missed the hospital. I missed having real patients. I don't wanna deal with politics or with politicians anymore. Le sigh. This isn't supposedly how I should end an entry on my supposedly noble work. But honestly, I cannot feel any nobility in what I do. I feel so strangled and limited in my work by a lot of factors that all the idealism in me vanished in a span of six months. I lost hope for the health system in the same manner as I lost hope for the country. Everytime I hear politicans speak, I hear all lies. I don't think I can stay here for long, I am only waiting for the passing of time so I can live the life of a real doctor saving lives and be a wife.