Stomach Series deleted. Just sweeping away some dirts. ",)

Ano ngayon kapag naka-Limited Profile ka sa Facebook? Ano'ng part ng profile mo ang pwede nilang makita?

sitting on the porch on a cold, windy frAiday...

          Yes, it is freaking cold here in MSU. The fog barely cleared up this morning and I am lured to stay at the porch to warm myself after the sun peeked behind the clouds. I have my back turned at the sun for fear of, um, getting sunburn. Heehee. I only need a few minutes under it to activate my Vitamin D enzymes underneath my skin, I can see those goosebumps as the warm rays hit my pale-almost-cyanotic skin. And I am wearing layers of sweatshirts and jackets. I love this, when I can go by the day without showering and still smells great. :) I am eating plenty of choclates for two days in a row, I feel drunken by it. I am eating all kinds of sweets because my aunt, who just came from another country after many years of staying there, came home and I slept over at her place the other night. She secretly whipped these dark choc'lates inside my bag and told me not to tell anyone 'coz she has limited stocks. LOL. Okay, so I'm her favorite. :) I devour them one bar after another and I can't seem to stop, and I feel like a princess---eating bars of chocolates while warming herself under the sun, sitting on a chair while leafing a book. :)) I shouldn't be sitting on a chair, I should be lying on a couch but we don't have couch here in our porch. We only have a plastic chair. So whatever, I still feel princess-y. 

***

          While I was at my aunt's place the other night, my sister and some cousins of mine ransacked her make-up kit and experimented on our faces. And here's the result:

 me, babydoll, amanee and nasbia (at the back)

no one can deny me wearing red lipstick. so in for the holidays, eh? :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY CHRISTIAN FRIENDS!

***
          Two nights ago, I slept over at Ate Diane's place. My "older sister". I always find time to be with her every break because she's the only person who exactly knows what to say when I pour my heart out. :) I don't call her my bestfriend because she's more of a sister to me. The older sister I never had, but I have her and I'm so grateful for that. *winks* I met Arianna too, her chic lappy! And of course Sing-sing, her naughty cat, who grew up faster. We haven't took a picture together because we were busy chatting and interneting. Hehe. But I took one while she's using Arianna:

Babypink and Arianna at our little sister Maru's room. :)

She knows something about me right now that I'd never tell anybody. Heehee. :) Love you, my precious!

***

        I'd be off to CDO to meet up with friends and hopefully spend the New Year there. I always spend it with my family, but this time I want it different. I'd be staying with my Same, Mabi and I'm hoping to meet the rest of my BGM (B. Girls of Mendeleev) friends.

Advance Happy New Year Everyone!

******

*dug this from my phone inbox.

I LOVE YOU

A warning.

An apology.

An interruption.

A plea for attention.

An objection.

An excuse.

A justification.

A reminder.

A trap.

A blessing.

A disguise.

A vacuum.

A revelation.

A way of saying nothing.

A way of summarizing everything.

A surrender.

An opening.

An end.

***

Falling in-love makes one vulnerable and vulnerability leads to hurting. Who likes to get hurt? Definitely not me.

Hence....

***
It's DECEMBER already!! The last month for the Year 2009, let's have a blast people!
Today I'm saying hello to ONCOLOGY. *dies*
First-day-of-the-month realization: WHY SETTLE FOR DEPRESSION WHEN THERE IS MORE TO LIFE?! Cheerios!

i like it when people realize their mistakes and wish they listened to me. i'm gloating! :)) [bad cheetah.]

i can't plurk, i can't facebook, so here. just got home from a medical mission at Digkilaan. dude, anlayo pala! we were like, Iligan CITY pa ba 'to?

wake me up when october ends.

I know the title should be "September" but it's already October, so what? *giggles* First semester of A.Y. 2009-2010 is officially over and sembreak has already started but I am stuck here in Iligan. I need to stay for the enrolment (which is today) and to finish some works for our college publication. Actually, I may go home tomorrow but we have this Medical Mission this Saturday so I decided to stay to spare me from the nauseating travel to and fro Marawi-Iligan. So what have I been doing? I started on "A Map of the World" and I also started watching Glee! I think Cory Monteith (photo on the left) is hot and he makes me stay tuned to the show. I have been spending a lot this week because I have been tolerating my cravings so I tend to eat out with friends and housemates. Last night, Gans introduced me to this new place here, it's called Delecta. They're known for their bakeshop but the cafe is kinda new. I was with Gans and Ate Ayin last night, the three of us rarely go out together due to differences in schedule especially now that Ate Ayin is a senior clerk so she rarely has time at home, er, boarding house.

I like the rattan chairs, the white-painted wall and the lights. Very minimalist and simple, yet comfy and elegant.

This is called Java Blenz (yeah, minus the D). It's very sweet yet very tasty, you can separate the taste of coffee and chocolate in your tongue.

***
I am officially enrolled today for the second semester, and right now, I am chatting with my sister via FB and she's telling me about her newfound crush who IS my crush too!! She even suggested that I might as well develop an eye for crush's brother who, apparently, has a thing for me. Oh well, I'm not kilig. *rolls eyes*  Sisterette, back off. I am your Ate and that says it all. Haha! :)

multiple choice

what's loathsome about multiple choice type of exam is you're faced with limited choices. you argue with what is presented and thinks that there is a better answer. CHOOSE THE BEST ANSWER--the instruction says. but what if there are two best answers? or none of the above is the best answer, yet "none of the above" is not among the choices? this type of exam cannot gauge what you know and what you do not know, because sometimes, you studied so hard for the exam you almost lost your sanity but you are faced with confined options. you want to debate to the person who constructed the exam but there's no room for that, not even a chance. so if you flunk, it doesn't mean you're dumb, it only means: WHAT YOU CERTAINLY KNOW IS NOT ON THE CHOICES. but then again, on the brighter side, it helps to have options when you have absolutely no idea about the statement given. tee hee. and hope for God's mercy that the box you have decided to shade after a minute or two of inny-minni-miny-mooing is the right one. chamba, 'ika nga. but the point is you studied, and a mark of "JUST PASSED" is not enough after putting on too much sweat and tears for it.

procrastination

i need to constantly remind myself that:

"PROCRASTINATION IS THE GRAVE WHERE OPPORTUNITY IS BURIED."

our neuro 2 exam will be this wednesday and although there are piles of things to be done (i.e., commed family progress reports, com diag and caduceus), i don't understand why i am so not in the mood for studying when i badly want to have a good mark in this exam. i want to end this sem with a bang, but, darnits! i'm so in a sembreak-mode. can't wait for:
Dan Brown's The Last Symbol (e-book, courtesy of Ate Karla)

Jane Hamilton's A Map of the World

Rebecca Wells' Little Altars Everywhere

..and movies, movies, movies.....
in less than three months, we're saying hello to junior clinical clerkship and i don't feel ready yet. nah! if i could only hold back time.
xoxo

lush

it's a strange thought but, i reckon, mother earth can get back on its green and verdant nature if everything on it will perish so it can start all over again. the cycle of degeneration and regeneration. that'd be the end of mankind.

i'm just reminded of the movie Knowing.

On Politics

          Once in a while, we swerve out of the everyday routine that life dictates and find ourselves in situations we aren’t supposed to be in. Nevertheless, there isn’t any flickering remorse as such circumstance opened our minds and brought us into another dimension of our very existence that most medical students are heedless of. That, my friends, is the familiar word POLITICS. Yes, we hear about it everyday from the television, read political headlines on newspapers, see politicians’ faces on tarpaulins and infomercials but most medical students give them a mere shrug. Our lives revolve around the library reading books, correlating the signs and symptoms to the lab result of our patients, or digging down our cerebral cortices for the pathophysiology of the possible diagnoses jumping in and out of our heads (we’re facebook addicts too, by the way). Yes, we care, too, about our country’s governance because we are affected by our patients’ inability to buy their medicines due to poverty. We give our opinions regarding the political state of our country and find ourselves cursing the culprits of the nation’s suffering, our very own sufferings. We accuse them, the president down to the senators and the congressmen, of graft and corruption, of stealing what is supposedly for the people, of being political turncoats. We judge them just like that. Yes, I curse them and they cannot blame me.

          But I ask myself, what gave me the right other than being a natural citizen of this country to air my grievances when I haven’t even exercised my right to suffrage? I want change for the better to take place; I want a bright future for myself and for my siblings and I want to raise my future children in this country free of corruption and violence, but I dare not took the single step towards change—casting my votes during national and local elections. I had been an eligible voter for five years now and haven’t tried voting, not even once. It’s woeful, I know. It’s not my choice not to cast my vote; it’s the chaotic situation that demanded me not to do so. It’s for personal security and the realization that my right to suffrage doesn’t make any difference as obvious vote-buying and electoral manipulation seems normal as the beating of one’s heart. He who has plenty of money (which comes from god-knows-where) and who has adequate power to grip the people on their necks wins the race—it’s not about he who can bring progress to the land and can unite its people to act harmoniously as one. It is a very pitiful situation to contemplate on, making the word HOPE an illusion of the past.

          However, if I continue being an idle citizen of this nation allowing my illusion of hope to endure getting buried and trampled upon by selfish and ambitious political figures who care only about their images and their wealth, I might as well forget my delusion of a bright future and I might as well step out of medical school as all hard works shall not pay off if I continue being a passive citizen. We medical students make an implication on how we don’t care about the political happenings in the country as there are certain set of individuals responsible for political jobs the way we are responsible for treating our patients. But we must also take into consideration the web we are all moving within, that the action of the people on one side deliberately affects us on the other side.

          Hence, I encourage everyone to take a stand and get involved into the process of electing the set of people who shall run our government in the next coming years. Our choice this coming May Election will reflect on our country’s stability, our oneness as a nation, our future and most importantly, our choice will reflect what kind of people we are.

          Somehow, despite all the odds, I can see HOPE shimmering from a distance, signaling it’s not yet too late. We can do something to put a halt to our country’s suffering, thus we must act. NOW!

This time, I took the step towards my goal towards change—electoral registration. Have you?

Another Goodbye

          Ramadhan’s almost to end and I haven’t written about it as I was planning. I have always been looking forward to this Holy Month insofar as I can recall. It’s not the “starving” part that elates me but the exquisite dishes my mom prepares for Iftar. I used to imagine that Ramadhan is for her to showcase her culinary skills. Come to think of that, thirty unintermittent days of my favorite dishes on the dining table and after-Tarawih desserts. No kid wouldn’t love that!

          Children are exempted to fast for the whole day so I liked it when my parents wake me up at three in the morning for the Saum meal, I felt like an adult who is compelled to fast, I felt important. At twelve noon, when my father notices my lips turn to grey he orders me to break my fasting and assures the seven-year old me that my half-day starvation would still count. I would do the same the following day and he tells me that my two half-days equate one whole straight day of fasting like an adult does. So apparently by that, I would still receive divine reward for my “fasting”.

          Nearing puberty, my parents got stricter on my Ramadhan habits. I was no longer allowed to break my fast at twelve noon, I need to complete the whole day without having anything by mouth—nil per orem. Initially, I liked it for I was treated like an adult—being served like a VIP during Iftar in consideration for starving for that day. Mid-month came and daytime cravings surge up, that’s when I knew how it is to be hungry, heard my stomach grumble and felt abdominal burning sensation. This time, I was the one begging my parents to allow me to break my fast.  They warned me that should I break my fast without their knowledge, it is not them who’re going to punish me. It is Allah. And I cannot hide from Him because no matter where I am, He is seeing over me. He sees everything I do and knows everything in my heart and mind. Alhamdulillah, never did I made an attempt to secretly eat and break my fasting. None that I can remember of.

          Step by step, I got educated about the significance of Ramadhan into each and every Muslim’s life. Why do we starve ourselves and hold steadfast to our prayers? We are not ordered to starve for punishment, we are to fast so we will be able to feel how the miskin—the poor, the needy, the homeless—feels like inorder for us to have compassion towards them and this teaches us humility. We are deprived of worldly things so we learn self-restraint. By this, we learn self-discipline and empathy which are expected for us to continue all throughout the year until such good qualities that the Holy Month taught us will be instilled into our personality thus making us better Muslims. It is during this month that we do not only detoxify our physical bodies but also our souls, we ask forgiveness from Allah and to all the people, who one way or another, we have wronged. We clear our hearts from all the grudges and envies that are residing therein. At the end of the month, we give Fitra (charity) to the needy in any form and any possible way we can.

          Having a greater understanding of this Holy Month’s meaning makes me look forward to it annually. The magic of this month triggers me to start anew (albeit one needs not to wait for Ramadhan to turn over a new leaf), get closer to my Creator and become a better person and a Muslim.

          For three years now, I have been spending Ramadhan away from home. It is difficult not being with my family during Saum and Iftar meals, there are even nights when I am eating alone and worse, nights when I wasn’t able to wake up to eat Saum meal. I got used to it eventually so long as I can spend the first and last days with them especially the Eid. As the Holy Month bids farewell, I ask for forgiveness from those who, aware or unawarely, I have wronged as I have forgiven all those who have caused me heartaches.

To Ramadhan, ‘til we meet again!

EID MUBARAK everyone!

wordpress

i'm thinking about moving to wordpress. aside from trying something new, i think it's cooler there. i could link friends/fave blog sites. but i wonder if i could carry along my old entries there. needs somebody to convince me! wohoo..

Community Medicine

shots i took in our assigned community---Purok 1, Tambacan, Iligan City. we had our semestral operation timbang this morning. this photos reflect poverty in the country.

8-29-09

in here, there is silence.

*we'll have our Operation Timbang today at the community, Tambacan.

this Neurology module gives me headache

Neuro 1 module started this week (immediately after the OB-GYN exam), and it is so vast and extensive that I don't know where to start first. Perplexing. *groan* Doctors told us that it is interesting. I better find that hole that will lead me to love this module. My mind is so vague I can't concentrate. Things-to-do are piling up I lost my ability to prioritize. Tomorrow is Psychia prelim and make-up ward rotation (not to mention PBL session), whole weekends will be spent for Surgery case presentations (read: whole days of Saturday and Sunday), Monday is the deadline for Psychia research paper (I haven't edited my paper as of speaking moment). I scheduled Wednesday for Caduceus meeting and reorganization. I need to breathe.

***********

ALL POWERS COME FROM ALLAH, THUS HE GIVES STRENGTH TO WHOM HE HAS BESTOWED POWER UPON.

because i am procrastinating..

i will share some lines from the book i am currently reading instead of my OB/Gyne books. it's called SURGEONS DO NOT CRY by Ting Tiongco.
*Man is a predatory animal. And in daily life, Man's favorite prey is the next man himself. Any display of weakness and uncertainty may often be exploited maximally by the person standing in line behind you on the sidewalk or in a bus. Of course, this does not happen all the time. But it happens often enough, especially between people who have nothing in common.
*All in the pretext of education and job opportunities abroad, we kill our culture.
*There is no person alive who never cheated. And there is no person alive who can guarantee that he/she will never cheat again. Given the chance, the person you meet walking down the steet WILL cheat. Some will cheat more than others. And more will cheat if they know they can get away with it.
* Man made time. And man can always make time for anything he wanted to do as Man can always claim the lack of time for anything he did not want to do.
*One's error of commission or omission may mean another person's life.
i am halfway finishing this half-inch thin collection of short stories of a surgeon from UP-PGH as i read during my spare times, or, the times when massive laziness of reading school books is all over me. just like right now. =) i will share the rest again, when i am procrastinating.

Maratbat and the Maranao by Nainobai D. Disomangcop

*i chanced upon this while doing my research for my BehavScie research proposal. Aunty Nancy is a close relative of mine. :p i'm so in love with her article that i copied it without her permission. hehe. i hope this extends a broader understanding about the Maranaos.  
The Maranaos are traditional people whose rich cultural practices continue to perplex even social scientists. Their resistance to change is seen not only in their slow modernization process, but also their continued faithfulness to customs and beliefs.

Their practice of the maratabat is a mark of distinction which makes them unique among all other ethnic groups. Maratabat is equated with “hiya” or shame, honor and dignity, rank, self-esteem or “amor-propio,” reputation and “face.” But maratabat is more than any of these. There is no single word or phrase that can clearly define maratabat, for the Maranaos have surrounded it with many socio-psychological concepts of their own. It is directly proportional to a person’s social rank. One social scientist views it as a blind, irrational pride of clan and tribe and a deep sense of personal honor and face. The substance of maratabat lies in the symbols, shared beliefs, images in the collective reputation, and in public morality of the Maranaos. When positively directed, it gives them unity, strength, and identity; it serves as a driving force in Maranao everyday life, be it social, political, or economic.

To some Maranaos the practice of maratabat is instinctive, but to others it is a learned cultural practice picked up by the children from the elders. One Maranao claimed that he never remembered being taught by his parents to do this or do that for it was expected of him, but rather he learned it gradually through observation from the old Maranaos. To give a better understanding of the process, here is an illustrative case:

Abdul was surprised one day to see his father together with some other male relatives, bringing guns, and crossing the lake. He was then in the grade school. Later, however, that one of his uncles had been killed. His father had gone out to get his uncle’s killer or any of his relatives. However, upon the admonitions of his father’s father, the relatives of the killer were spared from the vendetta.

The practice of maratabat does not bar a person with high educational attainment from killing another person once his maratabat has been transgressed. There was one law practitioner who was compelled to kill the brother of his brother’s killer because of this.

Vengeance for one’s sullied maratabat is one of the reasons why there are many army soldiers who have died in the Lanao area, explained a lady informant. The soldiers were just so trusting that they did not know the fellow next to them was their enemy. They thought that because they had not done anything (directly) to him, he was not involved. But in Maranao society, once a member of the family is in trouble, all of the relatives are on his side to protect him.

Maranaos who are enemies in Lanao would temporarily forget their animosity and become friends especially when they are in a faraway place. There are several Maranao warring families in Lanao who are close friends especially when they are in Manila. The common cause for this change of attitude is the necessity to group together when a Maranao is involved involve in some trouble.

But a Maranao does not just kill a person without a reasonable cause. Insult or defamation could goad a person into killing another. Once this is inflicted on him, he is ready to face his enemy just to uphold his “dirtied maratabat.” Trouble arising because of girls is a very common case. Even a wolf-whistle from a man could cause him trouble once a girl would inform her family of such things. This would set the scene for killing and counter-killing.

Oftentimes, because of the desire to uphold their maratabat, a killing could cause a vicious cycle for vendetta and counter-vendetta, one family avenging death of a relative until a solution is arrived at. This is where the datus play their role. Normally, marriage is one of the best solutions to the problem. A daughter or a son of the erring party is married to the son or daughter of the other party. In this way, the series of killings would be stopped. The girl, however, may have no right of her own regarding the ceremony. In many instances, though the girl feels some resentment over the arrangement, she would finally coaxed into getting married, because it is only through her that the conflict would be settled. There are some rare cases, however, where the girl would stand firm on her decision not to marry and would refuse to cohabit with her husband after the wedding ceremony. In this case, the expenses incurred during the ceremony and the bride-price is returned to the groom’s family.

An outsider to Maranao society would be surprised to find out that to work as maids, which is very common especially among urbanized Christian groups, is unknown among the Maranaos. Household servitude among Maranaos is not in accordance with the accepted mores of their society. Accordingly, financially hard-pressed individuals are prevented by well-to-do relatives from rendering household service in return for money, because it is the duty of the well-to-do relatives to extend help to their misfortunate kin. Another reason, perhaps, is the idea that working in another’s house for money would, in some way, degrade an individual. This is especially true when the individual comes from a higher stratum in society.

It is not surprising, therefore, that there are Maranaos who are poor but acquire high education, especially in the field of medicine, engineering, and law. Some of them even study in prestigious universities in Manila. This is possible because relatives contribute to the cost of education of a member of their family who desires to study. It only needs a little coaxing on the part of the individual concerned for there relatives to chip in for his education. Every now and then, regular help would be given until that person finishes his degree.

Another reason why relatives are willing to help other relatives to finance their education is the fact that extending help to these people is like an investment: financially, socially and politically, their success means raising the family maratabat.

It is not uncommon to hear some Maranaos worry because a relative is getting married. Sometimes even a close friend would show this concern. The explanation for this kind of attitude may be gleaned from the practice of maratabat. Occasions like these serve as a channel for a Maranao to assert his maratabat in the community. As such, the relative concerned is expected to contribute his share of the expenses during the ceremony. Actually, not only do these relatives extend their help on such occasions but indeed whenever the situation requires it.

The Maranao’s desire for larger family groupings works not only in the traditional context, but even in the modern legal political structure. Having a large family would give one the chance to run for an elective position in the modern legal political system because the more the followers, the better the chances of winning the race. This is achieved in the usually large Maranao family group that places importance not only on the consanguinal relationship, but affinal line as well. Through inter-marriage, a Maranao family could become a big political group that gives it the chance to wield political power and therefore dominate any political election. Relatives contribute not only their energy but also their wealth.

Furthermore, these bigwigs in local politics are also the leading social figures in the society. This is because they have the basic social economic roots that support their political careers on the local level. With economic and political influence in society, they are able to control the people, using them to advance their ambition, while the common people in turn receive help in the form of employment.

Employment is the most common way to help. Whoever is in power usually sees to it that most of his supporters, who are his relatives, get employed. In fact, a Maranao would expect an administrator who is his relative, to have him employed, whenever this is possible, regardless of his qualifications for the job. Extending help to an unfortunate raltive in terms of employment is normal in Maranao society. This, after all, is part of the maratabat of the clan.
======================

Zero Degrees Kelvin 01

Ayaka still gives a cold shoulder to Reifu. She has her reasons. This is the problem when you don’t have concrete evidence at hand, you can’t confront the person, Ayaka complains.

She prefers not to reveal her reasons, because, she pities Reifu. Reifu doesn’t know that Ayaka already knows her hidden mystery. Or, Ayaka assumes that Reifu’s not numb enough to not have any hint about it already by now.

Ayaka wonders what Reifu’s twisted, divine-sounding tongue had told Mizuka. She wonders if her conscience’s knocking on her…oh, she forgot, Reifu doesn’t have that—not even in her vocabulary.

This is the problem when you love the person too much because of the perfection she has shown. Ayaka put Reifu on a pedestal, she adored her, idolized her, and protected her; if only she could put Reifu on a little box so she won’t get harmed, she would. She was a fragile angel incapable of mischief, much more with lying? She treated her like her own little sister. Reifu’s such a brilliant and talented girl, Ayaka knows there’s more to her than meets the eye. However, Reifu’s naturally shy. She tried to get Reifu out of her shell by persistent encouragement and moral support. She tried to pull the best out of her. Ayaka’s life has been an open book to Reifu with a little hope that she could crack Reifu’s shell and would eventually open up to her. She wants their friendship to bloom like the one she has with her other friends. She wants to develop that inherent connection among friends. But Reifu has that innate mystery that Ayaka has been trying to figure out; her shell’s hard as cement to crack. She maintains that translucent hurdle that makes her more difficult to get to know deeply. Hence, Ayaka succumbed to what Reifu has been showing—perfection. Perfection in all aspect of her life. Ayaka adored her more.

Suddenly, epiphany presented the truth to Ayaka. The truth beneath Reifu’s divine mask. How rotten her core is. She had long been eaten by unnecessary insecurity and envy and masked everything by persuasive lies. Purely epiphany.

*** this is an attempt to short-story writing (which I don’t have any background of. Haha! So cut me some slack.) I will continue the story of Ayaka and Reifu in the succeeding entries. =) Hopefully, if I have time.

The Mosquito Conversation

I can’t contain my hatred for these little creatures flying around my boarding house. They are rampant especially now that rainy days are saying hello, in addition to the plants surrounding the house where they are most likely to breed.  They are so small they seem to be invisible; their buzzing annoys me I can’t concentrate with whatever I am busy with. Invisible buzzers. When they get to land on your skin, expect an itchy, circular bump. So deeply itchy you would just wish to puncture your skin or slice out that portion of your skin. Grrrr! These mosquitoes! The gratification I feel the moment I catch them with my two hands and crush their bodies into an almost indistinguishable form!!

This afternoon, while Gans (my roommate) and I are reading, she felt a mosquito bit her. She adjusted the electric fan towards us for the killer mosquitoes to get blown away.

Gans: kataya pman a mga r’ngit aya. (here comes the mosquitoes..)

ME: owayba (yeah..) *while reading, I was crossing my legs up on the chair to avoid being bitten*

Gans: di siran r’kta dn khasmo. (they don’t get enough of us)

ME: *laughs* siempre, diba one week bo a lifespan iran? Na omani m’bot r’kta na salakaw a r’ngit. (of course, don’t they have a one week lifespan? So every mosquito that bites us is another individual.)

Gans: oba bo adn a vaccine sa r’ngit. (how I wish there’s a vaccine against mosquitoes)

ME: owayba, na oman ta niyan mabot na skanian I puphatay. (yeah, and it dies the moment it bits us) *laughs*

Gans: mabot ta niyan na punggowa daan na gubo phatay. (it will vomit first before it dies) *she actually demonstrated how the poor mosquito will vomit the blood that it sucked from us*

We laughed in chorus.

Outlandish has got a new album! :D

here's the preview of their latest album "SOUND OF A REBEL". i personally like the songs "Feels Like Saving The World" and "Always Remember".
enjoy you guys!

Of Letting Go

After more than eight years of holding on to a person, you resolved to let go. You felt liberated. Free of uncertain hopes, of unfathomable emotions, and of incurable depressions. It is not cowardice, rather, mustering all your vigor to relinquish what is not meant to be. It is like surrendering to a Math problem that has no solution after it has bled your brain.
It is not giving up for you do not give up on true love. You still believe that it will come at the right time with the right person at the right place.
Rather, it is ACCEPTANCE OF FREEDOM!
It's like being in a deep slumber wherein you dreamt of a person whose persona you created with handful of your expectations and presumptions. You enveloped yourself with images of him alone. You pushed away other people to love him alone. Just him. Alone.
And then you wake up. Only to find out that everything has been a trance.
And then you let go. It's like gently pulling a knife that was stuck at your ribs.
You can breathe again. Your blood has circulated again and you are full of life again!

"....I will always remember now that love is liberty. That was the lesson it took me several years to learn. That is the lesson that sent me into an exile and now that sets me free again." ~~~Paulo Coelho (Brida)

masha-Allah..

"you don't need to go out and see the nature to appreciate God's creation. within our body-- our very own physiology--helps us understand God's magical wonder of creation." ~~Dra. Leah Manapat

i say, there's no need to read physiological books to appreciate God's creation. take Lee Min Ho for example...

"oppa, i'm single too.."

God, how can he be so perfect? MashaAllah..

Obra 02

some photos i took at mapawa during the second camp. photos with my face on it were taken by hadsot.

So Long, Rajee

I never imagined that my recent preoccupation by DEATH would actually happen to my family. What's sad about it is that it happened in the middle of our family's mini-reunion at home. Death transformed itself into a dengue fever and has taken away my three-year old (turning four) cousin, Rajee.
He's the youngest child of my Aunt Fatma and perhaps the most lovable kid since at such juvenile age he's capable of conversing like a big boy. Although he lasted only three years on earth, he has left our hearts an indelible deep mark that will forever hold dear to us.
Ba-bye arikulay, be our guardian angel for as long as we live.

The Shinagawa Monkey

Mizuki was at her desk, listening to the radio in her room when she heard a faint knock at her door. She opened it to find Yuko Matsunaka standing there, dressed in tight polo neck and jeans. I’d like to talk with you, Yuko said, if you have time. ‘Fine,’ Mizuki said, frankly taken aback. ‘I’m not doing anything special right now.’ Mizuki had never once had a private conversation with Yuko, just the two of them, and she’d never imagined Yuko would come to her room to ask anything personal. Mizuki motioned for her to sit down, and made some tea with the hot water in her thermos.

‘Mizuki, have you ever felt jealous?’ Yuko began.

Mizuki was surprised by this sudden question, but gave it serious thought.

‘No, I don’t think I ever have,’ she replied.

‘Not even once?’

Mizuki shook her head. ‘At least, when you ask me out of the blue like that I can’t remember any times. Jealousy… What do you mean?’

‘Like you love somebody, but he loves somebody else. When there’s something you want very badly, but somebody else just grabs it. Or, there’s something you want to be able to do, and somebody else is able to do it with no effort…Those sort of things.’

‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way,’ Mizuki said. ‘Have you?’

‘A lot.’

Mizuki didn’t know what to say. How could a girl like this want anything more in life? She was gorgeous, rich, did well in school and was popular. Her parents doted on her. Mizuki had heard rumors that on weekends she went on dates with a handsome college student. So how on earth could she want for anything more?

‘Like what, for instance?’ Mizuki asked.

‘I’d rather not say,’ Yuko said, choosing her words carefully. ‘Besides, listing all the details here is pointless. I’ve wanted to ask you that for a while—whether you’ve ever felt jealous.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

Mizuki had no idea what this was all about, but made up her mind to answer as honestly as she could. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever that sort of experience,’ she began. ‘I don’t know why, and maybe it’s a little strange if you think about it. I mean, it’s not as if I have tons of confidence, or get everything I want. Actually, there’re lots of things I should feel frustrated about, but for whatever reason, that hasn’t made me feel jealous of other people. I wonder why.’

Yuko Matsunaka smiled faintly. ‘I don’t think jealousy has much of a connection with real, objective conditions. So that if you’re fortunate you’re not jealous, but if life hasn’t blessed you, you are jealous. Jealousy doesn’t work that way. It’s more like a tumor secretly growing inside us that gets bigger and bigger beyond all reason. Even if you find out it’s there, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. It’s like saying people who are fortunate don’t get tumors, while people who’re unhappy get them more easily—that isn’t true, is it? It’s the same thing.’

Mizuki listened without saying anything. Yuko hardly ever had so much to say at one time.

‘It’s hard to explain what jealousy is to someone who’s never felt it. One thing I do know is, it’s not easy living with it. It’s like carrying around your small version of hell, day after day. You should be thankful you’ve never felt that way.’

~~~HARUKI MURAKAMI

****

Nobody lives a perfect life on earth. While it is healthy to look up to those above us and aspire to emulate or at least level up with them, let us not forget that there are those who are below us—those that reminds us to be grateful we are not living a hard life the way they do. We must be thankful for everything God has given us. Let not jealousy eat us from our core, because before we know it eats us wholly until nothing has left of us.

Ken Zhu's second album

*this was released early this year. i'm still looking for a store that actually sells his CD. wala 'ata sa Mindanao eh. badtrip.


***drool*** so adorable***

Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	Haruki Murakami

It is basically a collection of Murakami’s 24 fictional short stories that tells about unusual characters and events that brings true-to-life messages. I love how he captures mundane everyday life experiences, the littlest unnoticeable emotions and strange occurrences that make one dig out what is inside of himself and realize his true worth. He also interpreted the meaning of dreams, hidden feelings, unspoken wishes and forbidden physical relationships. I particularly liked the romantic Greek exile of lovers who are both committed to their respective spouses; they went to a Greek island where no single soul knows them to start anew. I also liked the story of a brilliant student who after going to the university learned that there were many realities in this world. It’s a huge world, there are lots of different values coexisting, and there’s no need to always be the top student. There’s also a story about making us realize that the most frightening thing in this world is our own self. What do you think?

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Parenting & Families
Author:	Rebecca Wells

I included this in my most-fave books. =) The naughtiness of this four girls—Vivi, Caro, Teensy and Necie—is so much fun! They grew up and grew old together. I liked that they didn’t separate their ways even after marriage and they have their own special friendship rituals; they dealt with each one’s struggles—death of a loved one, raising up kids, marital conflicts—together. Their sincerity, love and truthfulness fueled their friendship, devoid of insecurity and jealousy because they know that each one of them has a peculiarly unique characteristic. After finishing the book, I sat down and ponder about my friends. Who can be Vivi, Caro, Teensy or Necie in my circle of friends? Who am I among them? I think I am lot more like Necie, the one who could sense a boundary around her and did her best not to step over the line.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	History
Author:	Khaled Hosseini

This depicts the story of two Muslim women, Mariam and Laila, who lived their life during the heights of changing wars in Afghanistan. Both women struggled to fight for their own rights as a woman under the banner of Islam. Unfortunately for them, they live in a country whose laws misinterpret, took advantage of and abused the true teachings of Islam and thus making it appear to the world how radical the religion is. It is pitiable for them that they are being treated as donkeys by their own husbands, given away by their fathers without their due consent, that they are not free to practice the profession they desire, that the laws are hard on them (wearing burqa, not being able to walk on the streets alone without the accompaniment of a mahram, prohibition of talking to a man who is not a relative..etc)—all because apparently, according to the teachings of Islam. I beg to disagree. As far as I know, Islam gives equal freedom and rights to both man and woman. Although we have given different liberty from that of men, that is because we have different roles to portray in this life—mother who nurtures and a father who provides. Women must not be deprived of education, our fathers should not allow marriage without our consent, we are only to cover the parts of our body that would draw attention from men, and most importantly, our husbands must treat us like a queen—with all love, kindness and respect that we deserve. Alhamdulillah, I am born to a society that accepts and makes me exercise my rights and freedom as a Muslim woman. Tashakor, Ya Allah.