Siblings.

I was at home this weekend to attend to a very good friend's wedding. Unfortunately, we didn't made it to the ceremony proper so we ended up ambushing the newly weds at the bride's home. Jalal (brother next to me,) drove me to the place and fetch me thereafter. I jokingly asked him to treat me for dinner of which he agreed only because he just got paid for his job as a part-time instructor at AKIC, otherwise, nada. We spent the whole time talking about our other siblings and our parents. My siblings and I grew up together the whole time in a close-knit nuclear family. Back in the day, we do things all together--sleep, eat, pray, take a bath, go to school, watch TV, play, almost everything. We are always together at home that we are so fed up with each other's face so we fought a lot, call each other nasty names--the nastiest we can think of we can even evolve the word into something unheard, weird and real nasty to the ear. For example (I'm sorry sister, this is just an example!), my sister's nickname is Amanee, when I was mad at her, I used to call her Maniok (one who sticks finger to somebody's ass), then our brothers transformed the word into Maniokot, then Siokot, then to Soko!!! You figure out?! Worst thing is, the last one stuck, and we still call her that every time she makes someone fuming mad at her. Our other brothers have also their fair share of pretty nicknames such as: Pogampong, Adampok, Matintir and Marantok whose real nicknames are Jalal, Adan (aka Alex), Mata (aka Zul) and Mara (aka Ahmad), respectively. You might wanna ask for my share of beautiful nickname, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I have none! That's the perk of being the eldest, you bully your younger siblings by calling them names while they don't have the guts to call you one, at least on your face, that is. Probably I have millions behind my back. Well, none that I know or heard of. Harhar.

Nearly four years ago, I started to drift off from my siblings as I went to med school. Whenever I was granted the luxury of time, I got to go home on weekends or at least once a month. All throughout these years, I have missed a lot about my siblings. During my short vacations, I slowly noticed the gradual transformations occurring on them from the obvious disparity in our heights ( I am now the tiniest sibling) to my brothers' football passion. I tend to forget that Jalal is now in law school, the triplets are in college and Ahmad is a struggling high-schooler. I tend to forget that they can think better than I do and had great experiences than I had. I tend to forget that they are no kids anymore. We are no kids anymore. I still can't get over that fact.  We are all now six different people struggling to mold our own future based on our unique individualities. However it saddens me that we don't do things together now. We all have our own different worlds. 

As I was staying at home this morning, I noticed the deafening silence as opposed to the noisy morning that used to woke me up. My sister wasn't home as she's at CDO for her hospital duties as a nursing student. Alex wasn't home either, he slept over at his friend's house after their college's party last night. Ahmad went to school very early. Parents left early as well for some office works (on a Sunday!). Jalal and Zul were at their respective rooms doing their own things while the television entertains me. I was at home but I missed my siblings' presence, I particularly miss the noise I once loathed. It feels as if there's no one to go home for. Sad, eh?

Perhaps, Papa was right. When we were kids and bickering, he tells us: "Someday, you'll be the captain of your own life without a mother, a father, a brother or a sister. We will not be together forever so you might as well cherish these times that we're complete. Now don't waste such precious moments by kicking and making face at each other."

I miss my kid siblings. I have no one to bully around. :p